极品老妈

Mom S01E16

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 1:28 p.m.

I had a little accident.
是吗
Really?
你宁愿承认尿裤子
You would rather admit to wetting yourself
也不愿告诉我你和男人在一起
than telling me you were with somebody?
好吧
Okay.
有一个男的
There was a guy.
不可思议的男人
An incredible guy.
这才像话
Okay, now we're talking.
你为什么这么难为情
Why were you so embarrassed?
因为我在9点认识他
'Cause I met him at 9:00
午夜时就为他玉腿大开了
and had my feet behind my ears at midnight.
还有呢
And...?
就是这样了很难为情
That's it. That's embarrassing.
哇你完全不随我啊
Wow. You and I are so different.
跟我说说他
Tell me about him.
从何说起呢
Where do I start?
他是个消防员
He's a fireman.
喜欢
Like it.
有哲学博士学位
He has a doctorate in philosophy.
无聊
Boring.
妈他脱掉裤子后
And when his pants came down, oh, mom,
他的那个家伙可以玩套圈游戏
you could play horseshoes on that thing.
又喜欢了
Back to like.
你什么时候再见他
So when are you seeing him again?
不见了
I'm not.
为什么
Why?
你偷他家的东西了吗
Did you steal something from his apartment?
没有
No.
谁会这样做
Who does that?
没人
No one.
继续
Continue.
只是
It's just...
他喝酒喝得太多了
...He drinks an awful lot.
那又怎样
So?
什么叫怎样
What do you mean "So?"
我已经快戒酒一年了
I'm closing in on a year sober.
我不能待在酒的旁边
I can't be around that kind of stuff.
拜托
Oh, come on.
如果你不偶尔地让男人当你是
What's the point of building a better life
淫♥妇♥一样对待那么创建美好人生
if you can't let a man treat you like a whore
还有什么意义
every once in a while?
只是一♥夜♥情♥ 没有下文了
It was a one-night stand, end of story.
等等这样如何
Wait, how 'bout this?
你去戒酒互助会的次数加倍
You double up on your meetings
上他上到他肝爆为止
and bang him till his liver explodes.
双赢
Win-win.
好棒的建议
That's great advice.
你真应该去做人生导师
You really should be a life coach.
虽说你是讽刺我
You know, you're being sarcastic,
但我的保释官也是这么说的
but my probation officer says the same thing.
法国人管高♥潮♥叫la petite mort
The French call the orgasm la petite mort.
意思是"死了一点点"
Means "The little death."
那你就是连环杀手
Well, then you're a serial killer.
这样真好
This is nice.
知道怎样更好吗
You know what would be nicer?
我跟你说了我不会那样做
I told you I'm not gonna do that.
我说的是大♥麻♥
I'm talking about a little weed.
这个我也不要
I'm not gonna do that either.
你不介意我...
You mind if I...
不不当然不了
No. No, no, no, of course not.
你不喝酒
So, you don't drink,
你也不抽大♥麻♥嗨
you don't get high...
你是摩♥门♥教♥徒吗
are you, like, a mormon or something?
在过去我会觉得
There was a time I would've thought
你只喝酒抽大♥麻♥ 真算是摩♥门♥教♥徒
you were mormon for just drinking and smoking.
真的吗
Seriously?
别误会哈
Don't take this the wrong way,
但波旁酒和大♥麻♥只是小儿科
but bourbon and weed is for babies.
我心中充满了爱
Oh, my heart is filling with love.
好吧
Yeah, well...
我现在正在戒瘾
I'm doing the sober thing for now.
是吗
Really?
好样的
Good for you.
我很佩服
I admire that.
顺应生活的要求面对生活
Facing life on life's terms
是勇士之路
is a warrior's path.
我不觉得我是勇士
Well, I don't think I'm a warrior.
不你就是
No, that's exactly what you are.
你是心灵勇士
You're a spiritual warrior.
每一条东方哲理强调
Every Eastern philosophy emphasizes...
身体的清醒
...physical sobriety
允许意识
to allow the consciousness,
允许现在的"我"
the ever present "I,"
允许神性与
the godhead, to merge with...
狂热的永恒现在相结合
...the white-hot moment of the eternal now.
真没想到
You don't say.
动物明白
Animals get it.
它们活在当下
They live in the now.
蜂鸟不会为昨天后悔
A hummingbird doesn't regret yesterday
或是担心明天
or worry about tomorrow
因为昨天和明天只在我们的
'cause that doesn't actually exist,
头脑里存在
except in our minds.
在卧室里摆一台小电视
You know, a small tv in here
也不算什么糟糕的主意
wouldn't be the worst idea in the world.
我喜欢你
I like you.
我觉得你现在什么都喜欢
I think you like everything right now.
不
No...
这不是大♥麻♥药劲让我说的话
This isn't the weed talking.
我真的喜欢你
I really like you.
我觉得你是个了不起的女人
I think you're an amazing woman.
谢谢
Thanks.
我也很喜欢你
I really like you, too.
我能问你件事吗
Can I ask you something?
好啊
Sure.
戒瘾的人可以抽可♥卡♥因♥吗
Are sober people allowed to do coke?
不行
No.
你真勇敢
You're so brave.
我马上回来
Be right back.
好啊老伙计
Hey, old buddy.
记得我吗
Remember me?
大家好我是邦妮我是酒瘾者
Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm an alcoholic.
你好邦妮
Hi, Bonnie.
作为一个刚拿到证的人生导师
And as a newly certified life coach,
我也能解决你们所有的问题
I'm also the answer to all your problems.
拿一张然后传给下一个人
Take one, and pass it around.
妈妈不要
Oh, mom, no.
我可不接受"不" 我会让你"肯定"的
I don't do "No." I'm in the "Yes" Game.
我该回报我在这段
It's time for me to pay forward everything
奇妙的戒瘾之路学到的一切了
I've learned on my remarkable journey of sobriety.
你戒瘾才三个月
You've been sober for three months.
是啊我赢了三个月
Yeah. I've been winning for three months.
我也想要你们都获胜
And I want all of you to win, too.
在爱情工作和家人方面
In love, at work, and with family.
150美刀一小时吗
150 bucks an hour?
你到底想不想让我滚出你家沙发
You want me off your couch or not?
很合理的价格
Very reasonable.
会议结束后我会在饼干旁边
After the meeting, I'll be over by the cookies
回答你们的问题
to answer your questions.
你从哪里拿到证书的
Oh, where did you get certified?
不是这个问题
Not that question.
谢谢你们让我分享克丽丝蒂