闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S03E03

Part 5 April 5, 2021, 5:35 p.m.

It was a possum.
不
No.
但它知道我们不怕它
But it knows that we're not afraid of it.
或是熊
Or bears.
好了不如我们出去把火熄灭
Okay, what do you say we will go put out the fire,
你们俩去睡觉
and you two get tucked in?
好的
All right.
晚安妈妈早上见
Goodnight, mom. See you in the morning.
晚安
Goodnight.
我们是如此好的父母
We're such good parents.
我们是如此好的父母
We're such good parents.
-我们是如此好的父母 -我们是
- We're such good parents. - We are.
-我们是如此 -对
- We are so-- - Yes. Ah!
-对此如此擅长 -如此好的...
- so good at this. - Such good...
父母
Parents.
妈的
Oh, mother.
这尝起来就是失败的味道
So this is what failure tastes like.
是时候实行B计划了
I think it might be time for plan B.
-不去布里斯托特市场吗 -那就是B计划
- Not Bristol Farms? - That is the B.
-就它了 -不停下坐着我能行
- That's it. - No, stop, sit. I've got this.
妈妈如果你一个人去布里斯托特市场
Mom, if you go to Bristol Farms alone,
你只会带回来价值一百元的橄榄油
you're just gonna come back with $100 worth of olives.
每次都这样
It happens every time.
够了你很出色我的小天才
Enough. You've been amazing, my little Mensa,
但我必须一个人解决好吗
but I've got to deal with this myself, okay?
你看上去精疲力尽
You look exhausted.
我会带你回家然后去布里斯托特
I'm gonna take you home, and then I'm going to Bristol.
你负责这个 E 你来摆平这团糟
You got this, E? You got the mess?
-好的没问题 -没问题看到了吗
- Uh, yeah, no prob. - No prob, see?
没问题
No problem.
冈萨雷斯那个接球真是太妙了
I mean, Gonzalez, that catch was redonk.
是的那就是他得到大笔酬劳的原因
Yeah, reason he gets the big bucks.
好了我们需要更多油炸食品来庆祝
Okay, I think we need more fries to celebrate.
我加入这次算我的
I'm in, on me this time.
也得还有油炸食品可供应
If there's any fries left.
谢谢
Thank you.
开玩笑的
It was a joke.
只吃草的人类
Well, people in grass houses.
你吃的是什么
Hey, what you eating there?
生菜她在吃生菜来自我防御
Lettuce, she is eating lettuce defensively.
认为这能将她从油脂中解救
Thinks it'll protect her from all of the grease.
好了别说了这很美味
Okay, stop that, and it's tasty.
你像只兔子
You're like a rabbit.
不我就像住在洛杉矶的正常女性
No, I am like a normal human female living in Los Angeles,
这里有难以置信的身材标准
land of impossible body image standards,
所以我很好
so I'm fine.
那就吃一块该死的油炸食品
Well, then eat a freaking fry already.
天它不会杀了你
Jesus, it's not gonna kill you.
我不想吃好吗
I don't want one, okay?
它们令我作呕
They make me feel crappy,
我也真的开始喜欢沙拉了
and I happen to really like salad.
你也该找机会试试
Maybe you should try it sometimes.
好吧我不是那意思
Okay, that came out wrong.
是吗
Did it?
我要回到吧台去了
Well, I'm gonna get back to the bar.
芭芭拉 28号♥的妈妈
Barbara, 2-8's mom.
艾比请叫我艾比我叫艾比
Abby, please call me Abby. My name is Abby.
抱歉 28号♥的妈妈
Sorry, 2-8's mom.
他真会激怒人不是吗
He's so infuriating, isn't he?
关于沙拉那番话
That salad comment.
解释一下
Explain.
这本该是个性感爱爱之夜
This was supposed to be a sexy sex night out,
你点了所有这里最油腻的食物
and you ordered all the greasiest food in the place.
那绝对不是吸引帅哥的利器
That is not exactly a hot dude magnet.
但你的教练很喜欢我的爆米花
And yet your coach was all over my poppers.
我不是一直吃这种东西
I don't eat this stuff all the time.
这只是我享受玩乐之夜的方式
This is what I do to enjoy a night out.
你知道吗或许我们该走了
You know what? Maybe we should just leave, I think.
也许你该走了我和迈克一起走
Maybe you should go. I'll hang out with Mike.
也许之后我还能来一发
Maybe I'll hit that later.
这就是你的选择
Oh, that is what you're choosing,
那个连你朋友的名字都不愿意说的人
the one guy who won't even say your friend's name?
那真棒
That's nice.
-那是开玩笑 -真的吗
- That was a joke. - Really?
你怎么知道他会对你有兴趣
How do you know he would even go for you?
-你再说一遍 -该死我
- Excuse you? - Shit, I'd--I--
我不是这个意思
Not what I meant.
-有些男人喜欢真正的女人 -你就是
- Some men like an actual woman. - You are one.
我不是那个意思
I did not mean that--
不你就是
Yeah, you did.
晚安艾比
Goodnight, Abby.
芭芭拉拜托
Barbara, come on.
够了我不会这么做
Stop, I'm not doing this.
我的车还有两分钟就到
My car is two minutes away.
现在是三分钟了见鬼
Oh, now three, damn it.
我很抱歉真的真的很抱歉好吗
I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, okay?
我在里面说的话都不是我的本意
I didn't mean anything by any of that in there.
你通常都实话实说
Huh, you usually mean what you say.
我的天我真烦这个
Oh, my God, I am so sick of this.
你太敏感太爱生气了
You're so sensitive. You're so touchy.
-我我爱生气 -对你上星期生气了
- Me? I'm touchy? - Yes, you were touchy last week
在我给你的专栏提建议时
when I gave you notes on your column.
还有今晚
And now tonight, I mean,
是你叫我跟你来这里的
you're the one that wanted me to come here.
我从来没想过你会这么看不惯
I didn't think you were gonna make me feel like shit
我的身材和我吃的东西
about how big I was or how I eat.
-你想听实话吗 -你尽管说
- You want the truth? - Oh, please.
我是你的朋友我这是在关心你
I'm your friend, and I worry about you.
又来了
Here we go.
不是你不怎么会挑选食物
No, I--you don't always make the best choices in food.
你不怎么会打理自己
You don't always take care of yourself,
可能这就是为什么你没有异性缘
and maybe that's why you're so shut down around men--
-你说什么 -不性福没有亲密关系
- What? - And sex and intimacy,
-没人爱但我希望你幸福 -你疯了
- and love, and I want you to have all that. - You are unbelievable.
你说你准备好迎接新的艳遇了
You say you're open to new possibilities
但你是我知道的最保守
when you are the most uptight,
最皮包骨的小婊砸了
skinny-ass bitch I know.
你这话什么意思呢
What the hell does that mean?
你觉得我吃的都是垃圾食品是吗
You think I have issues with food?
-起码我还吃东西 -我也吃啊
- At least I eat. - I eat.
我说的是真正的食物碳水化合物
I'm talking about actual food: carbs,
任何能填饱肚子的东西
stick-to-your-ribs anything.
你凭什么来对我指手画脚
How dare you judge me
好像你对我的生活很了解一样
as if you know anything about my life
你才是活得乱七八糟的那个
when you're the one who's flailing right now?
你刚经历过完全彻底的精神崩溃
You just wrapped up a full-on-- full-on nervous breakdown,
和男妓乱搞
screwing hookers,
-在夜♥总♥会♥跳脱衣舞 -好了够了
- stripping at a strip club. - Okay, come on.
我只搞了一个男人我都没付他钱
I--it was one hooker, and I didn't even pay him.
好了闭闭嘴吧别提你没付钱这茬了
Okay, shh, don't even say that you didn't pay for it.
-但我是没付啊 -闭嘴吧
- But I didn't pay him. - Just stop.
我正在经历更年期
And I'm going through menopause,
然后我刚结束一段惨痛的婚姻
and I just went through a very tough divorce.
好吧还有我的
Okay, and my--
我对食物的执念
my stuff with food,
我知道是的是不太正常
I get it, yes, not normal.
我很清楚这点是有点过了
I am clear on that, a little bit controlled,
但总比吃太多来得健康
but it is healthier than eating too much.
艾比管好你自己的破事
Abby, deal with your own truth.
我的不用你管
Stay the hell out of mine.
伊森伊森