闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S03E03

Part 2 April 5, 2021, 5:35 p.m.

?Why is it that you're taking me for a ride?
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
-艾比·麦卡锡你好 -梅利莎
- Abby McCarthy, hi. - Melissa, hey.
你看起来气色真好
Wow, you look fantastic.
天别说了我都老古董了
Oh, my God, shut up. I'm death on wheels.
我都马上27了
My 27th b-day's knocking at my door.
-是吗 -坐吧
- Yeah. - Sit.
所以卡特不来吗还是...
Oh, so is Cat not joining us, or...
她不来代她向你问好
Nope, but she sends kisses,
她把你的邮件转发给我了
and she forwarded me that email you wrote.
-好很好 -也太长了
- Oh, okay, good. - It was long, long, long.
我扫了一遍但大概意思我明白
I skimmed it, but I got the gist,
所以我们要聊新方向是吧
so we're gonna talk new directions, huh?
是的我你知道的
Yeah, um, I just, I--you know,
我想了想
I've had some time to reflect
卡尔的事书的事
about what happened with Carl and the book.
那真是高♥潮♥迭起啊
Oh, that was a whole lot of yikes.
梅利莎我是个作家
Melissa, I'm a writer.
我当时以为是时候换个路线了
I thought it was time to maybe go down another path,
但确实那也是我的一个方面
but it is a part of me.
是我所爱的东西我需要找到一个
It's what I love, and I just need to find a new,
新鲜的方式去表达所以
fresh way to express that, so,
自传怎么样
what about memoir?
自传
Memoir?
我成为一名自我拯救型作家是有原因的
There's a reason why I became a self-help writer,
这是个相当有趣的...
and it's actually a very funny--
-没人会想读你的自传 -为什么
- No one wants to read that. - Why?
因为你不够出名
'Cause you're not famous enough.
不过
But,
你可以代笔帮别人写自传
you could ghostwrite someone else's memoir.
行啊你有合适的人选吗
Okay, well, who did you have in mind?
我想想我们有一个超赞的
Let's see, we have this amazing
油管主播叫绿唇
YouTube star named Greenlips.
-绿唇 -她19岁但超有影响力
- Greenlips? - She's 19. She's an influencer.
有一千一百万的人订阅她的油管频道
11 million people subscribe to her YouTube channel.
她听起来不错但并不是很....
She sounds fascinating, but that's not really--
符合你的要求我明白
Floating your boat? Okay, I get it.
那么...
What about...
有了
I have it.
你应该写一本言情小说
You should write a romance novel.
像是"软色情"吗
As in soft porn?
我对这方面不甚了解
That's not even remotely what I'm known for.
朱迪?布鲁姆不也一样
Well, neither was Judy Blume,
美国儿童和成人幽默现实主义作家
但看看人家事业多么成功
and look what happened to her career,
而且你们差不多是同一代人
and you guys are, like, the same generation.
她已经78了
She's 78.
相差不大听着
That's pretty close. Look,
你有过丰富的性生活
you have had a lot of sex.
让那些经历彰显价值
Make that legwork count,
我们会使用假名的当然啦
and we'd use a pseudonym, obvi.
当然啦梅丽莎
Obvi. Um, Melissa,
非常感谢你提出这么多有趣的想法
thank you so much for all these fun, great ideas,
可我的作品是写关于我的故事
but my writing, I write about myself,
和真实的生活
about real life,
所以我们能否以这个为前提集思广益...
so if we could just keep the brainstorming under that umbrella--
言情小说占出版业的百分之七十
Romance makes up 70% of the publishing industry.
这是个相当重要的前提你不觉得吗
It's a pretty big umbrella, don't you think?
人们来这工作他们有会议室
People come here to work. They have conference rooms
如果想要安静的话
and private offices upstairs
楼上有私人办公室还有温泉
if you want some quiet. They have a spa.
一共投了多少钱两千还是三千
How much, 2,000, 3,000?
这是一笔业务支出
Uh, it's a business expense.
这地方能招来许多潜在艺术品买♥♥家
It's a perfect place to bring prospective art buyers.
-天哪四千五千 -这是可以减税的
- Oh, my God, 4,000, 5,000? - It's tax deductible.
我还以为你们在削减开支
I thought you were cutting back.
我们有啊我刚解雇了树艺师
We are--I just cut the arborist
还有盆景师我知道这听起来很奢侈
and the bonsai specialist, and I know how that sounds,
但那些盆景都是上百岁的古董
but the bonsais are hundreds of years old,
我心都碎了
and it broke my heart.
总之我们准备带孩子们去箭头湖
Anyway, we are taking the kids to Lake Arrowhead
一起露营促进感情
for a little camping and bonding time.
露营还是"豪华度假型露营"
Camping or more glamping?
真正的露营与大自然交流那种
Legit camping, like, communing with nature.
孩子们需要和JD相处一段时间
The kids need some quality time with JD.
他们有些困惑"那个人是谁"
They're a little bit like, "Who is this guy?"
你们好啊大白天喝酒吗
Hi, are we day drinking?
谢天谢地
Thank God.
菲比这地方太棒了
Phoebe, this place, amazing.
谢谢这是可减税的
Thank you. It's tax deductible.
乔现在怎么样了
Hey, how's, uh--how's Jo?
昨晚我和她谈过
I talked to her last night,
但她不想说关于斯考特的事
but she didn't want to get into the whole Scott thing.
真不敢相信他就这么不告而别
I can't believe he just left.
-我懂 -真无情
- I know. - Brutal.
我确定她只是需要些空间
Well, I'm sure she just needs some space,
还有时间去疗伤她会没事的
you know, time to process. She'll be fine.
就像你今晚要去第一次约会了哟
Like you, who's having her first date tonight.
什么这么快和谁约会
What? That was fast. Who's the guy?
他在金融业但他不是我的委托人或老板
He's in finance, but he's not a client or my boss,
所以我将之视为个人成长你们不觉得吗
so I would consider that personal growth. Wouldn't you, ladies?
瞧瞧你成长并且蜕变
Look at you, growing and changing.
好了我该走了
All right, I got to go.
等等别急着走
Wait, hold, stop.
上次你公♥司♥那破事怎么样了
What's happening with the whole Hester Prynne thing at work?
成功搞定了公♥司♥成立以来
Oh, well, kicking ass on the biggest divorce case
最大的离婚案足够让其他人闭嘴了
the firm's had in years tends to shut people up, hmm?
好了我们回头见
All right, I'll see you guys later.
玩得开心
Have fun.
拜拜对了姐♥妹♥们♥
Bye. Um, guys?
我们得去楼上图书馆尝尝卡布琳娜鸡尾酒
We have to go try the caipirinhas in the upper library.
捏捏我的手
Twist my arm.
你今天进展如何
How did it go today?
卡特喜欢你的主意吗
Did Cat like your pitch?
其实不归卡特管了谢谢
It wasn't actually with Cat. Thank you.
她交给手下的梅丽莎小跟班了记得吗
She sent the toddler that works for her, Melissa. Remember her?
不是吧那个没责任心的小妞
Oh ,no, no the enfant terrible.
你怎么应付的有什么好想法吗
Where'd you land? Any exciting ideas?
没有她想让我写一本言情小说
No, she wants me to write a romance novel.
-真棒 -天哪我喜欢这主意
- Yes! - Oh, my God, I love this idea.
-你必须写个翻版《五十度灰》 -没错
- You have to go all "50 Shades." - Yes.
比如性暴♥力♥和拷打这种...
Like, violent and tormented and--
我更喜欢直白的维多利亚♥情♥♥色♥
I prefer straight-up Victorian erotica.
什么《汉密尔顿》式黄♥片♥吗
What, like "Hamilton" Porn?
没错那些紧身胸衣和假发
Absolutely. It's salacious with the corsets, and the wigs,
还有爆♥乳♥简直淫♥荡♥极了
and the heaving bosoms.
不我才不要浪费时间
No, I'm not gonna waste my time
去满足饥渴的中年妇女意淫
pandering to horny, middle-aged women.
无意冒犯
No offense.
好了我该走了
Um, well, I have to go.
我和他们约了下午四点
I'm meeting everyone at 1600
因为我需要露营用具
'cause I need camping gear,
经济实惠的露营用具
affordable camping gear.
我们又不是19世纪毛皮猎人我需要帐篷
We're not 19th century fur trappers. I need a tent.
我走了我爱你们再见
I'm going. I love you. Bye.
-再见 -拜拜
- Bye. - Bye.
现在谈谈你
Now, you.
我觉得你的女神仪式专栏
I thought that your goddess ceremony column
进展很不错
came out really great.
充其量就是肤浅地胡扯
It was superficial horseshit,
但米切尔似乎挺开心所以搞定了
but Mitchell seemed happy, so win.