面目全非（2023）

FUBAR S01E04

Part 3 May 27, 2023, 6:08 p.m.

塔莉就在我3米旁的地方我怎么提供战略支持?
How am I supposed to provide strategic support with Tally ten feet away from me?
我怎么做我的工作?
How am I supposed to do my job?
当她在欢乐健身馆时你在总部工作
Well, when she's at Merry Fitness, you work out of HQ.
但最棒的是她每替我们工作一分钟
But the best thing about it is, every minute she's working for us,
她就可以少见唐尼一分钟. . .
it's one minute away from Don--
卢克我的伙计
Luke! My man!
唐尼我妻子的男朋友
Donnie, my wife's boyfriend.
就像《回到未来》第二部一样这一切都未完待续
Mm-hm. Like the end of Back to the Future II, all of this to be continued.
塔莉把最新消息告诉我了
Tally told me the news,
我只想说我知道你在做什么
and I just wanna say, I know what you're doing.
我雇了一个高级员工
I hired a top employee.
我很激动
I mean, I'm so excited about this.
你当然激动了我不是说这个
I'm sure you are. That's not what I meant.
我知道你想赢回她你的办法没用的
I know you're trying to win her back, and it's not gonna work.
怎么会呢? 已经在起效了
Actually, it's already working.
-我很高兴你答应了 -当然了
Mm-hm. Mm. I'm so glad you said yes. Of course I did.
我们在一起会很棒的
It's gonna be great.
-我做了正确的决定 -好的
It's the right decision. Yeah, okay.
-什么? -斯瓦希里语的“亲爱的和我在一起”
What? It's "be with me, my darling" in Swahili.
你就跟着感觉走
Just go with it.
好哇你在干什么?
Okay. Whoa, what are you-- What are you doing?
大家都在那里
Everybody's right there.
-你是为什么. . . -我知道他们在
What is-- Right there, I know.
-太危险了 -对
It's dangerous. Yeah.
-有点刺♥激♥ -是的我想是的
It's kind of exciting. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
-对 -对
Yeah. Yeah.
他们已经合作多年了
They've been working together for years.
你是健身器材销♥售♥员?
Oh, so you're a gym equipment salesman?
我们来看看你有没有健身
Mm-hm. See if you practice what you preach.
真厉害
Oh! That's very impressive.
我经常做二头肌弯举锻炼
I practice what I preacher curls.
这里很热你热吗?
It's hot in here. Are you hot?
-我没觉得. . . -温控器肯定坏了
I-- The thermostat must not be working.
-不那里有空调. . . -我有一个关于椭圆健身机的问题
No, it's working-- I have a question about ellipticals.
-找他就对了 -好的
Oh, he's the man. Oh great.
我们离开一下好吗?
Will you excuse us?
-好没问题 -谢谢
Sure, no problem. Oh, thank you.
好吧
All right.
你为什么穿这种狗屁动画衣服?
Why are you wearing this Garanimals-ass shirt?
我明明叫你不要做真实的自己
I specifically told you not to look or act like you.
这是物质侠
This is Matter-Homme,
一个可以任意改变物理定律的法裔加拿大超级英雄
a French-Canadian superhero who can bend the laws of physics to his will.
物理学第一定律
Number one law of physics:
引用物理定律的人交不到女友
no one who quotes laws of physics gets laid.
好了我刚隔空给你传了蒂娜的资料
There. I just airdropped you recon on Tina.
网上购物记录喜欢的音乐、Netflix观影记录
Online purchases, Spotify playlists, Netflix history.
原来她特别喜欢七十年代的影片
It turns out she has a nostalgia erection for the '70s.
对你来说就糟了因为当时的男人都是真男人
Sucks for you because men back then were men.
史蒂夫麦昆、保罗纽曼
Steve McQueen, Paul Newman,
而你明显不是真男人
and you ain't them.
不是吧那天我们半夜一起去吃了塔可饼
I don't know, we grabbed late-night tacos the other day,
她刚刚还夸了我的肌肉
and she just complimented my muscles.
那是因为我们在做卧底
It's 'cause we're undercover.
你觉得她对你那小块肌肉很感兴趣?
You think she's really interested in your linguini arms?
你必须像招外国特工一样招募她
You've gotta recruit her like a foreign asset.
第一步观察
Step one, spot.
你观察到一个能让你暗流涌动的女人
You spotted a woman who caused blood flow to your down low.
很好第二步评估她的脆弱点
Great. Two, assess for vulnerabilities.
她愿意跟你说话那她肯定很无聊那是她的脆弱点
She talks to you, so she's clearly lame. That's a vulnerability.
第三步发展关系发展关系的最好方法
Three, develop. The best way to develop a relationship
就是了解她喜欢的一切所以我给了你文件
is to learn about everything she's into, hence the file.
第四步招募让她跟你一起来场真的约会
Four, recruit. Get her to go on a real date with you.
还有第五步掌控
And five, handle.
你想掌控她的奶♥子♥ 而且想让她掌控你的蛋蛋
You wanna handle her bing bongs, and you want her to handle your nuggets.
要做到这一点你要不知羞耻地全方位了解她
For that to happen, cover your shame and do your homework.
你们一定是卡特的父母
So Carter's parents.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
告诉我你们两个这么特别的人是怎么认识的?
So tell me, how did you two very special people meet, huh?
我当时在纽约的摩根梅律所工作
Oh, well, I was working at Morgan and May in New York.
30岁就能成为合伙人
Partner track by 30.
在我们公♥司♥的集体活动上
And at our corporate retreat,
有一节瑜伽课而授课人. . .
there was a yoga session taught by none other than--
是我啦
Me. It was me.
我绝对不会猜到
I would have never guessed.
福特改变了我的人生
Ford change my life.
他告诉我追名逐利是老鼠才干的事
He taught me that the rat race is for rats.
而我们是人类应该追求真♥善♥美♥
And we're humans, part of the human race.
我们应该帮助我们的同胞
And we should help our fellow man.
-是的 -所以我们才开♥发♥了这个
Yes. That's why we developed this.
“裤裆超酷”
Coochie Coo.
男女皆宜的无痛比基尼热蜡除毛
Unisex, pain-free bikini wax.
-拿点样品试试吧 -好
Take a sample. Okay.
现在还加了药用大♥麻♥
Now with CBD.
卢克别害羞
Luke, don't be shy.
我们是一家人了
We're family now.
-我们在裤裆超酷有句俗话 -很好
We have a saying at Coochie Coo. It's nice. Mm.
该留的都会留下多余的毛发滚蛋吧
There's nothing to lose but unwanted hair.
那我的尊严也该滚吗?
And your dignity. Watch this guy.
看看他可真是直言不讳
He's a pistol.
他们的名字是怎么回事?
What is it with their names anyway?
福特? 卡特?
Ford? Carter?
这俩在美国史上最糟的总统之列吧?
Weren't they some of the worst presidents we've ever had?
更别提珀尔默特父子俩了他们是“女人杀手”
Not to mention the Perlmutter men. I mean, they're lady-killers.
他们杀死了才华横溢的女人的野心
They kill the ambition of smart and talented women.
你这么说太不公平了
That's so unfair.
你看看他的妻子
I mean, look at his wife.
她一开始是华尔街的风云人物
I mean, she started out as a Wall Street mogul,
最后成了一个卖♥♥比基尼热蜡除毛的
and then she ended up as a crack-wax woman.
他们给下面除毛你知道吗?
You know, where they wax down below?
我不希望你和他们一样
I don't want that for you.
我不希望你被这样的人控制. . .
I don't want your future to be controlled by--
所以只能你控制她?
By anyone but you?
谢谢
Thank you.
他似乎不明白
He doesn't seem to understand
我可以自己决定自己的人生
that I can make my own decisions about my own life.
我这几年都一直和她说
I've been telling her for years that Carter is the wrong guy.
卡特不适合当他的老公
我们在飞机上聊得很开心
We had a wonderful conversation on the airplane.
我们按照你的建议沟通了
We communicated, just like you recommended.
她还跟我说她更喜欢中情局的工作而不是卡特
She even said to me that she preferred the CIA over Carter.
一小时后他们却订婚了
That-- An hour later, they were engaged.
我是说她这是精神错乱
I mean, this is insanity.
艾玛这是个艰难的选择
Emma, it's a hard choice.
把工作放在爱情之上
Work over love. Do you feel split?
你有分♥裂♥感吗?
中情局版本的你
The CIA version of you
和其他人眼中的你?
and the version the rest of the world sees?
中情局版的你知道不能和卡特在一起
Did CIA Emma speak the truth about Carter,
但一旦你进了父母家
but once you were inside your parents' house,
回到完美女儿的角色
back into the role of perfect daughter,
你做了大家都期待的事
you did what everyone expected you would do.
你答应了卡特的求婚
You said yes.
因为你不想伤害卡特你不想让你妈妈失望
'Cause you don't want to hurt Carter. You don't want to disappoint your mother.
不一切都在我掌控中
No. I'm in complete control of my life.
我爱卡特我意识到我之前的想法是错的
I love Carter, and I realized I was wrong,
我会经营好我的婚姻
and I am going to make this work.
你做不到看看你妈妈和我的遭遇
You can't. Look what happened to your mother and to me.
我不会像你那样把工作放在我的婚姻之上
I'm not gonna prioritize work over my marriage the way you did.
你这是注定失败的婚姻
A marriage that is doomed to fail.
-不. . . -各位暂停一下
No-- Okay, guys, let's hit the pause button.
我们进行这些疗程是为了让你们更有效地合作
We're doing these sessions so you can work together more effectively,