说唱王戴夫

说唱王戴夫
第一季 第十集[季终]
♪在台上说唱♪
♪ On stage rapping ♪
♪无所谓 反正我就干这行♪
♪ Ain't shit to me, I'm a rapper, that's what I do ♪
♪年轻的戴夫在绕舌♪
♪ Young Dave snappin' ♪
♪观众似乎还挺喜欢我 我也挺喜欢他们♪
♪ The crowd seem to fuck with me and I like them, too ♪
♪一般我会在台上开玩笑♪
♪ Ordinarily I might joke around on the stage ♪
♪毕竟我是高三班里的搞笑王♪
♪ Funny motherfucker, class clown, 12th grade ♪
♪有时我可能会越界♪
♪ Sometimes I might overstep my boundaries ♪
♪做些奇奇怪怪的事 相信搞笑的艺术♪
♪ Do some weird shit, believe in the art of the joke ♪
♪所以这次 我就说♪
♪ In this case, I was like ♪
♪你们这群观众很热情♪
♪ Ay, y'all a great crowd ♪
♪就当奖励吧 你们想不想看我的鸡♥巴♥♪
♪ So as a reward, do you wanna see my dick? ♪
♪观众沸腾了 现在我有点纠结♪
♪ Crowd went wild, now I'm kinda torn ♪
♪演出进行到一半时的软屌♥♪
♪ Mid-show soft dick ♪
♪是最糟糕的 我真是个傻子♪
♪ Is my worst soft dick, I'm a moron ♪
♪"露鸡♥巴♥ 露鸡♥巴♥"♪
♪ "Show your dick, show your dick" ♪
-♪观众们呼喝道♪ -♪该死♪
- ♪ Whole crowd chants ♪ - ♪ Shit ♪
♪我说 不行 不如给各位露个蛋吧♪
♪ I'm like, I can't, but what about nuts? ♪
♪观众疯狂了 我掏出了蛋 欢呼吧♪
♪ People erupt, whipped out the nuts-- cheers ♪
♪下了场 走向更衣室♪
♪ Off stage, head up to the dressing room ♪
♪五名警♥察♥正在我的更衣室里等我♪
♪ Five cops waiting in my dressing room ♪
♪天杀的 哥们 你红了♪
♪ Goddamn, dude, you blowing up ♪
♪看看他们加了多少安保人员♪
♪ Look at how they beefing up the security ♪
♪我说 长官们 我会没事的♪
♪ I was like, Officers, I'll be okay ♪
♪其中一个警♥察♥说道 "先生 你被捕了"♪
♪ One cop said: "Sir, you're under arrest" ♪
♪我笑了笑♪
♪ I laughed in jest ♪
♪以为他只是在跟他的警♥察♥朋友们显摆♪
♪ Assumed he was just showing off for his cop friends ♪
♪打开了一包零食♪
♪ Opened some Chex Mix ♪
♪"先生 我们需要给你戴上手铐"♪
♪ "Sir, I'm gonna need you to put on these cuffs" ♪
♪"你说什么"♪
♪ I'm like, "What?" ♪
♪先生 你刚刚在一场普适级演出中露了关键部位♪
♪ Sir, you just exposed yourself, at an all-ages show nonetheless ♪
♪等等 你是说露蛋那事吗♪
♪ Wait, you talking 'bout showing nuts? ♪
-♪先生♪ -♪那就是个寻常笑话♪
- ♪ Sir ♪ - ♪ That's like a common joke ♪
-♪你从没有在你朋友面前露过蛋吗♪ -♪先生♪
- ♪ You never pull out a ball with your friends or-- ♪ - ♪ Sir ♪
-♪从没有过吗♪ -♪先生 请您戴上手铐♪
- ♪ Never? ♪ - ♪ Sir, please put on these cuffs ♪
♪等等 你们来真的♪
♪ Wait, stop, no, this is actually happening? ♪
-♪先生 先生♪ -♪这不公平♪
- ♪ Sir, sir ♪ - ♪ Wait, this is unfair ♪
-♪抱歉 我发誓♪ -♪先生♪
- ♪ I'm sorry, I swear ♪ - ♪ Sir! ♪
♪请听我说完♪
♪ Please hear me out... ♪
♪先生 你要去坐牢了♪
♪ Sir, you're going to jail ♪
♪我问 "坐牢吗"♪
♪ I'm like, "Jail?" ♪
♪他答 "是的"♪
♪ He like, "Yeah" ♪
♪我问 "坐牢吗"♪
♪ I'm like, "Jail?" ♪
♪没错♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪收押 保释♪
♪ Booked, bail ♪
-♪交钱 害怕♪ -♪简直疯了♪
- ♪ Pay it, scared ♪ - ♪ This is crazy ♪
-♪几个月过去 庭审♪ -♪动真格的庭审♪
- ♪ Months pass, trial ♪ - ♪ Real trial ♪
♪45对父母起诉我♪
♪ 45 parents press charges ♪
-♪我大学时曾因酒驾被捕♪ -♪蠢蛋♪
- ♪ I got a DUI in college ♪ - ♪ Stupid ♪
-♪这不是我第一次犯罪♪ -♪天哪♪
-♪ This was not my first offense ♪ -♪ Oh, my God ♪
♪孩子们在证人席哭哭啼啼♪
♪ Children were crying on the stand ♪
♪应该也不太聪明的样子♪
♪ Probably the dorks of their class ♪
♪你是个失败者♪
♪ You're a loser ♪
♪到了审判当天了♪
♪ Now it's the day of my reckoning ♪
♪他们就要给我作出判决♪
♪ They 'bout to give me my sentencing ♪
♪我颤抖不已 无法呼吸♪
♪ Can't even breathe and I'm trembling ♪
-♪陪审团带着结论来了♪ -♪有罪♪
- ♪ The jury arrived at a verdict ♪ - ♪ Guilty ♪
-♪我以为我听错了♪ -♪有罪♪
- ♪ I thought I misheard it ♪ - ♪ Guilty ♪
-♪我妈失控了♪ -♪我的儿啊♪
- ♪ Mama Burd going berserk ♪ - ♪ My son! ♪
♪等等 你说判刑两年 法官阁下♪
♪ Wait, you said two years, Your Honor? ♪
-♪是的♪ -♪去塔卡瓦拉监狱的大巴上♪
- ♪ Yes ♪ - ♪ On the bus to Tuckawala ♪
♪他们把我和罗贝托铐在一起♪
♪ They got me chained to Roberto ♪
♪他脸上有刺青 他烦躁不安♪
♪ Tat on his face, he was fidgety ♪
♪车开进监狱时 他怕得不行♪
♪ Shook as can be as we pullin' in ♪
♪他们给我拍了照 解了手铐♪
♪ They take my picture, unchain me ♪
♪他们给了我证件♪
♪ They give me my state I.D. ♪
♪他们把我带进一个房♥间♪
♪ Then they took me to a room ♪
♪让我"扩张臀部"♪
♪ And told me to "Spread your cheeks" ♪
♪我说"就像这样吗"♪
♪ I was like, "Like this?" ♪
♪他们说"没错 但你要把住你的蛋"♪
♪ They like: "Yeah, but rake your nuts" ♪
♪把住我的蛋♪
♪ Rake... rake my nuts? ♪
-♪是把蛋扶起来吗♪ -♪是的♪
- ♪ Like pull 'em up? ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
-♪好吧♪ -♪他们让我深蹲再咳嗽♪
- ♪ Oh, okay ♪ - ♪ They made me squat and cough ♪
-♪标准程序 我没问题♪ -♪没问题♪
- ♪ Standard procedure, I'm wid it ♪ - ♪ It's cool ♪
♪在检查完之后 我跟狱警聊了一会儿♪
♪ After I finished I had a minute with the guard ♪
♪我跟他说 "长官 我知道这很奇怪"♪
♪ Say to him, "Sir, I know this is bizarre" ♪
♪但强♥奸♥的事是真的吗♪
♪ "But the whole rape thing, is it, like, real?" ♪
♪"在监狱里真的会被强♥奸♥吗"♪
♪ "Is it actually a thing in jail?" ♪
♪还是 他回答说"是的"♪
♪ "Or...?" He like: "Yeah" ♪
♪我问 "真的会发生吗"♪
♪ I'm like, "Yeah? It really happens?" ♪
♪他说 "对啊"♪
♪ He like: "Yeah" ♪
♪你的职责不是保护公民吗♪
♪ Isn't it your job to protect people? ♪
-♪朝我的牢房♥走去♪ -♪来了个白人小孩♪
- ♪ Getting walked to my cell ♪ - ♪ We got a white boy! ♪
♪经过一间间牢房♥♪
♪ Walking through jail ♪
-♪简直糟糕透顶♪ -♪你死了 你死了♪
- ♪ Shit is like hell ♪ - ♪ You dead, you dead! ♪
-♪就跟电影里演的一样♪ -♪你会被♥操♥死♪
- ♪ It's just like the movies ♪ - ♪ Gettin' fucked! ♪
♪大喊大叫 "来新人了"♪
♪ Screaming and hollering, hooting: "Fresh meat!" ♪
♪一个黑人说 "我要打断你的背"♪
♪ A black guy said: "I'll break your back!" ♪
♪西班牙佬问 "你那张小嘴怎么样"♪
♪ Hispanic guy ask: "What that mouth like?" ♪
-♪"我以后要用"♪ -♪一个新纳粹分子只是冲我笑♪
-♪ "I'm-a need that" ♪ -♪ A neo-Nazi just smiles ♪
♪我们到了牢房♥ 我的狱友叫拉希姆♪
♪ We get to my-- cell, got a cellmate named Raheem ♪
-♪你好 我是戴夫♪ -♪他人不错 为什么会进来♪
- ♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪ - ♪ Good dude, wonder why he in ♪
-♪我是拉希姆♪ -♪然后他问我 我♥干♥了什么♪
- ♪ I'm Raheem ♪ - ♪ Then he asked me what I even did ♪
♪你都做了些什么♪
♪ What'd you do? ♪
♪我解释了事情的经过 我当时正在表演♪
♪ I explained the whole thing, was performing ♪
♪露了个蛋 十分无辜♪
♪ Showed my nuts, totally innocent, like ♪
♪我确实做了 但这个行为很无辜♪
♪ Well, I did it, but it was an innocent act ♪
♪不算大事 现在我在这里♪
♪ It's not a big deal, now I'm here ♪
♪因为向未成年人暴露性器官被判两年♪
♪ In Tuckawala for two years for exposing myself to minors ♪
♪拉希姆惊道"你是个恋童癖"♪
♪ "Whoa, whoa, you a pedophile?" Raheem said ♪
♪不 我不是恋童癖 你刚听到经过了♪
♪ No, I'm not a pedophile, you just heard the story ♪
♪好吧 你不能让任何人知道这事♪
♪ Okay, okay, okay; you cannot let anyone know this ♪
-♪为什么 这又没什么♪ -♪被他们发现你就完了♪
- ♪ Why? It's not a big... ♪ - ♪ If they find out, then it's over ♪
-♪完了♪ -♪你会被强♥奸♥ 可能会被♥操♥死♪
- ♪ Over? ♪ - ♪ You raped; dead, maybe ♪
-♪被♥操♥死♪ -♪咱们还是想想解决办法吧♪
- ♪ Raped dead? ♪ - ♪ Let's just think of solutions instead ♪
-♪被♥操♥死♪ -♪这里有黑人和墨西哥人♪
- ♪ Raped dead? ♪ - ♪ In here there's the blacks and the Mexicans ♪
♪那些白人至上主义者呢♪
♪ Well, what about those white supremacists? ♪
♪他们能看出来你是犹太人 明摆着呢♪
♪ They see that you're Jewish, it's evident ♪
-♪什么叫明摆着♪ -♪黑人和墨西哥人♪
- ♪ It's evident, what does... ♪ - ♪ The blacks and the Mexicans ♪
-♪你们之间没什么固有矛盾♪ -♪没错♪
- ♪ Don't have inherent hatred for you ♪ - ♪ True ♪
♪你得选择一方 寻求他们的庇护♪
♪ You gotta pick one of them for protection ♪
-♪谁 黑人和墨西哥人吗♪ -♪对♪
- ♪ Who? The blacks or the Mexicans? ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
♪我大概会选黑人吧♪
♪ I mean, I guess I go blacks, right? Blacks ♪
-♪好吧♪ -♪我不太了解墨西哥人♪
- ♪ Okay ♪ - ♪ I just don't know much about Mexicans ♪
-♪我知道了♪ -♪在家乡我会和黑人一起玩♪
- ♪ I hear you ♪ - ♪ Like, at home I would hang out with blacks ♪
♪那就去找黑人们吧♪
♪ Go with blacks, then ♪
♪他们怎么知道我跟黑人是一伙的♪
♪ Well, how do they know I'm with blacks? ♪
♪我该怎么表现出来呢 我得把"黑人"说出口吗♪
♪ Like-- how do I refer to it? Do I say "Blacks"? ♪
-♪你不必说♪ -♪我感觉会很奇怪♪
- ♪ You won't have to say... ♪ - ♪ I feel like it'd be weird ♪
♪如果我说 "我是跟黑人一伙的"♪
♪ If I said, "I'm with the blacks" ♪
-♪不是这样的♪ -♪我哪儿来的凭据呢♪
- ♪ It's not like that ♪ - ♪ How is it referred to? ♪
♪别担心 我会确保所有人都知道你是我们的人♪
♪ Don't worry, I'll make sure that everyone knows you're with us ♪
♪比分3比5♪
♪ 3-5 rec, ball ♪
♪场地不错 走位甚好♪
♪ Pretty solid courts, real good runs ♪
♪在边上看球 没想上场♪
♪ Watched on the sidelines, didn't try to run ♪
♪上场等于自寻死路♪
♪ Calling for next would be calling for death ♪
♪球技很好的黑人老兄扭了脚踝♪
♪ Real good black dude roll his ankle ♪
♪墨西哥佬站在一边说 "来吧 小蜜桃"♪
♪ Mexican guy on the side says: "Ay, carambo" ♪
♪现在有一支队伍只剩四个人了♪
♪ Now there's a squad that's only got four players ♪
♪在监狱里 替补由对方球队来选♪
♪ And in jail the other team picks his replacement ♪