说唱王戴夫
Dave
第一季
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说唱王戴夫
Dave S01E07
Part 1
July 4, 2020, 2:01 p.m.
你上次跟你的兄弟们说
When the last time you told your-your homeboys
-你喜爱 欣赏 珍惜他们是什么时候了 -别吧
- that you love them and you appreciate them and value them? - No...
把那玩意关了
Turn that shit off.
抱歉 你继续睡吧
I'm sorry. Just go back to sleep.
昨晚我脑袋被人踢了吗
Did I get curb-stomped last night?
我感觉我的脑细胞被人拿了出去
I feel like my brain cells have been removed from my head and...
-并没有 -打乱顺序之后又放回来了
- Neither of those. - put together randomly.
你跟一个叫"龙舌兰"的老哥干了一架
There was this little dude named "Tequila,"
结果你被打趴下了
and he came around, and you lost that fight.
你个笨蛋
You're an idiot.
搞什么...
What the...?
你是在把我的优盘当烟抽吗
Are you trying to smoke my USB right now?
老天啊
Oh, my God.
下次好好吐烟 行吗
Just properly eject next time, please?
不听老人言啊 切尔诺贝利
See, that's what you get, Chernobyl.
这烟能把你我都呛死
It's gonna kill you and me.
怎么了 别再用那种眼神看着我了
What? Stop looking at me like that.
你想喝水什么的吗
Do you want water or anything?
不用
No, I'm good.
-你想要抱抱吗 -不用
- You want a hug? - No.
-那击个掌 -你闭嘴行吗
- A high five? - Can you just stop talking?
我的衣服怎么回事
What the fuck happened to...?
-天哪 -能借我件衣服吗
- Oh, my... - Can I borrow a shirt?
行 但你现在看着跟受害者似的
Yeah, but you look like a victim right now.
我开玩笑的
I'm kidding.
看看有什么你能穿的
Let's see what we have here.
这件
Boom.
不行
No.
你经常穿这件衣服
You wear that all the time.
大家会看出来这是你的
Everyone's gonna know it's your shirt.
讨厌你的人也改变不了 那就...
Well, haters gonna hate, so you get...
这件运动衫吧
a P.E. Shirt.
跟我在一起
How's it feel...
♪感觉如何呀♪
♪ To be with me? ♪
你真奇怪
You're so weird.
别反应过度啊
Don't overreact and shit like that.
我会为所有人扶着门的 姑娘
I hold the door for everybody, girl.
我妈培养了一位绅士
My mom raised a gentleman.
你真是个戏精
You're so overly dramatic.
你接下来打算干什么
What are you about to do?
没计划 就继续活着呗
No plans. Just gonna continue being alive.
是啊
Yeah.
我马上有个会要开
I got a meeting in a second.
我应该去洗个澡什么的了
I should probably, like, shower or something,
免得我身上一股酒味和交合味
so I don't smell like tequila and ass when I get there, huh?
多谢你的热情款待
Well, appreciate the, hospitality.
你跟每个人上♥床♥之后都会这样吗
Is that what you do to everybody after you have sex?
-打他们两下 -再见
- You just punch them twice? - Bye.
操
Fuck!
我觉得有人闯入了你的车里
Yeah, I think somebody broke into your car.
911紧急中心 你有什么紧急情况
911. Where is your emergency?
♪你好 我是戴夫♪
♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪
说唱王戴夫
第一季 第七集
♪我是利尔·迪基♪
♪ I'm Lil Dicky ♪
♪你好 我是戴夫♪
♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪
♪谁是戴夫♪
♪ Who's Dave? ♪
♪你好 我是戴夫♪
♪ Hi, I'm Dave. ♪
我要说错了你就指出来
Correct me if I'm wrong.
一般打911报♥警♥不应该是因为 我也不知道
You usually call 911 when, like-- I don't know--
胸口被人捅了一刀之类的吗
you're being currently stabbed in the chest or something,
有人砸窗进了你的车 不该打911吧
not when someone broke into your car.
我今天的美好时光被捅了一刀啊
Well, my day just got stabbed in the chest.
现在我得应付警♥察♥ 还有
Now I got to deal with the cops, and then...
保险和其他破事
oh, insurance and all that shit.
希望我的工作文档在云端有备份
And hope that my work is saved on the cloud.
我要是坐在你旁边 别报♥警♥
Don't call the cops while I'm sitting next to you,
因为我会被逮捕
'cause then I'm under arrest,
因为我看着就像罪犯
'cause I apparently broke into your car.
然后我就锒铛入狱了
And then I'm in handcuffs,
然后你就没衬衫可穿 没炮可约 也没笔记本电脑了
and then you have no T-shirt, no dick, no laptop.
没有衬衫和约炮不是问题
I'm good on the T-shirt and the dicks,
不过关于警♥察♥ 你倒说得没错
but you're right about the cops.
他们只会让我填个报告
They're just gonna make me file a report,
然后继续去殴打穷♥人♥
and then go back to beating up poor people.
你不必在这陪着我的
You don't have to stay here with me.
好的 姐们 再见
All right, nigga. See you later.
-你能想象吗 -天啊
- Could you imagine? - Wow.
这是不是只西瓜虫[鼠妇]Ooh, is that a roly-poly?
你这副流浪汉的惨样 我怎么忍♥心走
Well, yeah, I couldn't leave you looking homeless.
这是你的衣服诶
This is your shirt.
戴夫
听着耳熟吗
妈的 又来
Bro, every fucking time!
怎么了
What's up?
这是我的节拍 有的网络说唱歌♥手就直接拿去用
This is my beat, and some SoundCloud rapper just stole it
录了他们自己的垃圾版本
and recorded his lame-ass verse to it
却没著名来源
and didn't give me any credit.
那就拿着节拍 去找他算账
Let's take the beat and kill his mom to it.
我就是不懂 为什么这种破事层出不穷
It's just, like... why am I still dealing with this shit?
我都多大了
Like, how fucking old am I?
你知道别人在你眼皮底下偷走你的作品
Do you know what it feels like
这是什么感觉吗
to just have your work stolen from under you?
完全不懂
No fucking clue.
今晚我要像个疯子一样放首沉默迪斯科了
Now I'm about to DJ this fucking silent disco tonight like a creep.
我和特里皮在那傻坐了12小时
I just be sitting in sessions with Trippie for, like, 12 fucking hours,
不敢放我优盘里的节拍 因为我害怕
not playing any beats on my hard drive 'cause I'm scared.
但我真的很想当一个制♥作♥人 你知道吗
But like, bro, I want to be a fucking producer, you know?
你要是真的想当制♥作♥人 就跟他听啊
If you want to be an actual producer, show him.
你见过这小子吗 他可吓人了
Have you met this kid? He's so intimidating.
他整张脸都是扭曲的
There's an "Eight" In the middle of his fucking face, like...
跟个冷冰冰的机器一样
like a fucking calculator or something, brah.
那破事太让我心烦了
That shit is nerve-racking.
说起这事 你的会议在几点啊
Speaking of, when's your meeting?
这不重要
it's not really important.
他们也不是时时刻刻都需要我
They don't need me every second of it.
你不必这样的
You don't have to do that.
-我哪样了 -把我当成约炮对象
- Do what? - Treat me like a fucking random.
你不必编出什么开会的借口来甩掉我
You don't have to make up a meeting just to get rid of me.
编个开会的借口
Oh, make up a meeting?
我没编
I didn't make up a meeting.
我就是 你知道的 就是
I just... You know, it was...
今天是
Today is...
一天 明天又是一天
a day, and tomorrow's another day, and...
听着 在昨晚那事发生之前 我们是朋友
Look, we were friends before whatever happened last night,
你就继续像对待朋友一样对待我好了
so you don't get to act different now.
你不打算道个别 抱我一下再走吗
You're not gonna say "Bye," Give me a hug, nothing?
-别坐我车上 -不然怎样
- Get off my car. - Or else what?
直接轧过去
I'll run you over.
真的假的 你下得了手吗
Really? You're gonna run me over?
等等 在你发动之前 你能听见我说话吗
Wait, wait. Before you start your car, can you hear me?
这是个笑话 你车窗都破了怎么会听不见
It's a joke. Your window's broken.
-让开 -你不会动手的
- Get out of the way. - You're not gonna do shit.
你来真的
Really?!
再见了
Bye.
你把电子烟落下了 电子烟
You left your vape! You left your vape!
关于音乐录影带 我有个疯狂想法
Yo, so I got this crazy idea for a music video, right?
到时候你像是走在一个指甲油过道上
So it looks like you're walking down a nail polish aisle.
就好几排指甲油瓶子
It's just, like, a bunch of rows of bottles
按肤色排序
of nail polish in order of flesh tone.
然后你出现
But then you zoom in,
有一群光着屁♥股♥的家伙们
and it's just a bunch of naked-ass dudes
按照人种排好序 白人
说唱王戴夫
Dave
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