说唱王戴夫

Dave S01E07

Part 3 July 4, 2020, 2:01 p.m.

Yeah, not quite flying.
你有上过《创智赢家》吗
Have you ever been on Shark Tank or anything?
那是什么
What's that?
电视节目
It's a TV show.
我才重新步入社会
I-I just reentered society.
我想要一件
I want one.
-木头衣服吗 -当然了
- The wooden shirt? - By all means, man.
你有一万块呢
You got ten grand.
穿一件试试
Try one on, man.
-想试试这件吗 -好
- Want to try this one on, buddy? - Yeah.
-上面没刺吧 -一点也没有
- Are these splinter-free? - Splinter-free.
花了一年才解决的
Took a year to figure that out.
你会在什么社交场合穿这身
Where do you wear these? Like...
这样怎么...
socially, like, how does it...
在所有穿普通衣服的场合都可以穿这身
Yeah, anywhere you'd wear a normal shirt.
-打猎 -希望你的社区里
- Hunting... - I hope you don't have any woodpeckers
没有啄木鸟
in your neighborhood.
我并没有想
I don't mean that, like...
调戏他的意思
molestually, or...
这衣服太牛逼了
Yo, this is hard.
你看着就像吃了类固醇的匹诺曹
You look like Pinocchio took steroids.
你看着就像他们做了一部新的匹诺曹电影
You look like if they made a new Pinocchio movie, you know,
选角都带着时下新潮的种族色彩
today with all the progressive racial casting in mind.
你穿着它能跑起来吗
Can you even, like, run around in it or anything?
-活动自如吗 -可以
- Like, do you have mobility? - Yeah.
-是啊 -你现在就像巴里·桑德斯
- Yeah. - You're like Barry Sanders right now.
-看看你 -你就像史上第一个轮子
- Look at you. - You're, like, the first wheel ever.
你就像拳王阿里
You're like Muhammad Ali.
-索伦 -天哪
- Sauron! - My lord.
不要会刮伤的不行会刮伤的
Don't... It's gonna scrape. You can't... It's gonna scrape.
-我起不来了 -你能翻个身吗
- I can't get up. - Uh, can you roll over?
-不行 -他都不能
- No. - Aah, he can't even...
他就像... 怎么办...
He's, like, a... What do y...
一二三抬
One, two, three, lift.
我的天哪
My lord!
-你没事吧 -没事
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
你要买♥♥了吗天哪
You're buying? Oh, my God.
-谢天谢地这衣服足够硬 -天哪
- Thank God this is hard. - Jesus.
有木头袜子吗
You got any socks?
厕所男孩为你带来全新单曲
Hey, this your boy Kid Toilet here to drop my new single.
-这节拍绝对牛逼 -该死的小偷
- The beat is fire on it. - Fucking thief.
歌♥名叫《五花八门的迷幻药》
It's called "Pops, Percs, Oxys and Xannies."
如果你现在和我一样嗨在下方评论
If your pops like me right now, drop a comment below.
厕所男孩带着骄傲冲马桶
Kid Toilet. Flush with pride.
-你好吗 -你好吗小可爱
- What's up? - What's up, buttercup?
-挺精致啊 -还行吧
- Fancy. - Little bit.
你怎么样
How are you?
好多了
Been better.
等等
Wait a second.
太好了
Hell yes.
提醒一下这里的设备都不能抽
Just you know, all this other equipment, it's un-smokable.
就提醒你一下免得你
Just fair warning, just in case you try
随手拿起什么东西就放进嘴里抽
to pick anything up randomly and hit it.
你真幽默
You're funny.
你的笔记本电脑怎么样了
What's going on with your laptop, kiddo?
调查还在进行中
Investigation's ongoing.
但你知道吗我可能要开始偷笔记本电脑了
But you know what? I may start stealing laptops,
因为事实证明偷了也不会有什么后果
because apparently there's no consequences for it.
除非我
Unless I,
告发你
I turn you in.
我就知道你是内鬼
I knew you were a rat.
那我该拿你怎么办呢
What am I gonna do with you?
我和你站着玩69 你来倒立
Stand up 69 where I hold you?
-那就来吧 -给我一拳让我清醒下
- Dude, let's do it. - Hey, punch me in.
我要发狂了
I'm about to go crazy, bruh.
让我录一段
Let me get a session, man.
我正打算像爱因斯坦一样涌现灵感呢
I'm trying to go Einstein in the booth.
我和他现在说不定能做出好几首经典歌♥曲
Me and him could be making classics right now.
来吧哥们
Come on, man.
我们肯定能做出热门歌♥曲
We supposed to be making hits.
我就不打扰你们了
I'm gonna leave you guys.
等等你留下你不是有那种棒子吗
Hold on. You stay here. Don't you got the plug
可以往身上刺还能留纹身的那种
on the stick and dot tattoos and the poke and shit?
我正打算把两条胳膊都纹个遍
Like, I'm trying to get tatted, like, blasted for real.
在我家当然你在想什么
At my place, yeah. So what are you thinking?
我在想
Man, I'm thinking about,
我坐在玛莎拉蒂的后座上抽着中国大♥麻♥
you know, Maserati, me in the back with two Chinese joints,
你可以从窗户看进去
you know, like, you can see through the windows,
小妞正在给我口♥交♥ 我在看纪录片
me just getting head, watching a documentary about some...
是个斐济的小妞
Fijian chicks, like, you know,
电视在头枕里就这个范儿
TVs in the headrest, all of that, just chilling,
像老板一样
real boss shit.
哪款玛莎拉蒂
What kind of Maserati?
我知道你们在这亲热
I know y'all smashin'.
什么
What?
我知道你们在亲热看看
I know y'all smashin'. Look at y'all.
你们俩就坐在这儿啥也没干
Y'all just in here vibing, like,
电脑也没有在处理音乐
the computer ain't even doing nothing about music,
光坐在这
it's just sitting there.
我宁愿去死
I'd rather die.
说到这儿
On that note,
我要走了因为家里还有个小坏蛋等着我
I'm-a bounce, 'cause I got a baddy at the house
我先走了二位
waiting on me, bruh. I'm gone, Kong.
让我走进录音室里
Let me get in that booth.
录点经典音乐
Let me make some classics.
无所谓
Whatever.
糟糕
Shit.
我刚想起来笔记本电脑上有我的裸照
I just remembered all my nudes are on that laptop.
看来我得拿回来
Guess I got to retake 'em.
或许吧
I guess so.
你真有趣
You're fun.
你突然想让我变得有趣了是吗
All of a sudden you want me to be fun?
每次我为你做点什么都太过了
Like, every time I do something for you, it's too much.
如果我给你件衬衫太像埃尔兹的了
If I give you a T-shirt, it's too Elz of a T-shirt.
如果为你扶着门我就是太善良了
If I open the door for you, it's too nice for me to do that.
我不知道你想让我怎么样
I just don't know what you want from me,
我听你的指挥
and I'm following your lead,
你来做决定好了
and you're just all over the place.
看到没这就是我们不该做♥爱♥的原因
See, this is exactly why we shouldn't have had sex.
你表现得像个矫情的小婊♥子♥
You're acting like an emo bitch.
矫情的小婊♥子♥
Emo bitch.
明白了
Got you.
挺好
Good one.
老兄这是什么
Man, what's this?
这是个节拍我...
This is a-a beat I...
这是我做的一个节拍
nigga, this is a beat I made.
感觉很棒往回退一点
Vibe hard. Run that shit back a little bit?
这东西太棒了
That shit crazy.
我一直在做节拍
I j... I just be making beats all the time.
我有一堆节拍供你选择
I got hella beats just in case you ever need any, you know?
我就要这个
Yeah, I need this one.
我...
Yeah, I'll,
我给你留着
I'll-I'll-I'll save it for you or whatever.
这是你给谁准备的少吗
Who you was holding this for-- Thug?
-恶少 -是啊
- Young Thug? - Yeah.
你以为我是谁啊
Who do you think I am?
老兄我就是个普通人我用优步
Bro, I am normal, nigga. I Uber.
真的吗
For real?
不我开优步
No, I drive Uber.
你怎么没跟我说过
How come you ain't tell me about this?
我不想越界