说唱王戴夫

Dave S01E05

Part 3 April 5, 2020, 5:35 p.m.

没问题
Okay.
就像这样吗
Like this?
对我来说
To me,
它的意思是 "别人免费帮你干活
it says, "Don't give too many notes
你就别他妈提那么多要求了"
to the person doing this shit for free."
好吧我
All right, well, I...
我不会再向你提要求了
won't give you any more notes, then, I guess.
我再过一遍
I'll do one more pass.
-谢谢你小臭虫 -别碰我
- Thanks, slug. - Don't touch me.
♪他们不在乎我的鸡♥巴♥♪
♪ They don't care about my cock ♪
-♪我可以用它来蹭逼♪ -♪蹭逼♪
- ♪ I could use a pussy mop ♪ - ♪ Drip ♪
♪我的鸡♥巴♥就像是道具♪
♪ In the scene like I'm a prop ♪
♪她看到我很是震惊♪
♪ She saw me and went in shock ♪
♪严格来说我没有工作♪
♪ Technically I'm unemployed ♪
-♪但我肯定我很能"干"♪ -♪"干"♪
- ♪ But I'm pretty sure I'm gonna work ♪ - ♪ Work ♪
♪像职员一样叠纸♪
♪ Stackin' paper like a clerk ♪
♪我的黑粉都很烦躁♪
♪ And all my haters look perturbed ♪
♪从出生开始我的鸡♥巴♥♪
♪ Been there since birth, my dick look ♪
-♪看着就像盐罐♪ -"盐罐"
- ♪ Like it's a saltshaker ♪ - ♪ Shaker ♪
♪我的鸡♥巴♥看着就像吃了送葬者的♪
♪ My dick look like it get chokeslammed ♪
♪一记锁喉抛摔♪
♪ By the Undertaker ♪
♪我的鸡♥巴♥ 就好像上帝把我塑造成了完美情人♪
♪ My dick like the Lord made everything about me player ♪
-♪完美情人♪ -♪于是祂只能把我的鸡♥巴♥♪
- ♪ Player ♪ - ♪ Then he had to make my dick ♪
♪交给地狱里的撒旦♪
♪ And send it straight on down to Satan ♪
-♪恶魔的鸡♥巴♥♪ -♪我的鸡♥巴♥弱爆了♪
- ♪ Devil's dick ♪ - ♪ My dick sucks ♪
♪我的鸡♥巴♥弱爆了♪
♪ My dick sucks ♪
好了打住
All right. Cut-cut it off.
音乐停我感觉这一切依旧中规中矩
Cut the music off. All of this just feels so, like, expected.
-你搞什么呢 -感觉每个说唱歌♥手都会这么唱
- What the fuck, bro? - It's just exactly what any rapper would do.
你不想成为说唱歌♥手吗
Don't you want to be a rapper?
哥们到底怎么了你想让我怎么样
Bro, what's wrong? What do you want me to do?
我无所不能就像魔术师一样
I can do anything, bro. I'm like a magician, bro.
看看这些笔记我一直在进行计划和记录
Look at these notes. I've been plotting and jotting, bro.不
整晚都在想这件事
I've been thinking about this shit all night.
你人生中最完美的一次演出
The best show of your life,
我都把它当成我的演出了
and I'm treating it like it's my life.
我们一起干吧老兄
Let's do this shit together, bro.
不是你的问题你做得很棒
It's not a you thing. You're doing great.
我只是在想我是不是应该
I'm just thinking, like, shouldn't I be doing
再来点安迪·考夫曼的感觉
more, like, Andy Kaufman-like stuff?
像是特技表演或是坐在舞台上
Like stunts, like sitting onstage,
盘着腿抽着雪茄
like, cross-legged, smoking a cigar.
甚至都不要开口说话
Maybe not even open my mouth and talk.
我坐在那里就像某种社会实验一样
I just sit there, like, experiment socially.
你是想试试卧底风格的说唱吗
Oh, you're trying to be on some undercover rap shit,
就像詹姆斯·邦德一样你上次
like James Bond. When the last time
见过詹姆斯·邦德在电影里拉屎是什么时候
you seen James Bond take a shit in any of his movies?
你见过詹姆斯·邦德在电影里拉屎吗
Have you seen James Bond take a shit in any of his movies?
我觉得通常情况下他们应该不会在电影里
I mean, I don't think they film shit like that
拍拉屎的镜头
in movies just in general.
不过你说得有道理
But, hey, preach, brother.
好吧你说得没错因为我说的一切都是真的
Okay, you right. 'Cause everything I say is real.
我说的每个字都得印在T恤上
Everything I say needs to be on a T-shirt.
拜托哥们如果你想试试
Come on, bro. If you want
安迪·考夫曼的感觉那就放上去
the Andy Kaufman shit, put it up there.
弄个全息投影你可是利尔·迪基
Hologram, bro. You're LD.
去弄个全息投影有你办不到的事吗老兄
Get a fucking hologram. You could do anything, bro.
-全息 -你觉得他弄不到全息投影吗
- Hol... - Don't you think he can get a hologram?
我们得去弄一个全息投影
We need to get one of them holograms,
说真的联♥系♥一下会场
for real, for real. Call the venue, bro.
不行我们不能弄全息投影
Yeah, no. No, we're not getting a hologram.
-付不起租金 -我只是
- You can't afford rent, so no. - I'm just trying
想发现利尔·迪基的特别之处
to figure out, like, what is unique to Lil Dicky.
利尔·迪基到底是谁
Like, who is Lil Dicky?
什么事只有他会做
What is something only he would do?
或者我会妈的我困惑了
Or I would d-- Or-- Fuck, this is confusing.
在舞台上给自己口♥交♥
Suck your own dick onstage.
我能这么做吗合法吗
Can I do that? Legally?
我能在舞台上给自己口♥交♥吗
Can I suck my own dick onstage?
这问题是认真的吗
That's a real question?
你在问我能不能
You're asking me about being able
当着观众的面给自己口♥交♥
to suck your own penis in front of...
我只是想问合不合法
Legally. I'm just-- Legally.
你现实生活中能这么做吗
Can you even do that in real life?
我想可以小时候我会这么做天哪
I believe I can. I used to as a kid. Oh, my God.
从某个时刻开始我就不这么做了
I stopped doing it at a certain point,
因为这感觉更像是给别人口
'cause it felt more like giving head
而不是被别人口
than getting it, but...
你有射出来过吗
Did you even come or anything?
天哪
Oh, my God.
别告诉我你咽下去了
Don't tell me you swallowed.
我
I, like, kind of...
就像脖子上的头发一样
It was like a neck hair thing...
你从嘴里拔♥出♥来♥ 然后射出来
So you pulled out of your mouth and then you shot it
-然后沾脖子上了 -是的
- and you caught it in your neck? - Yes.
你谁啊环球旅行家队员吗
What are you, a Globetrotter?
著名篮球表演队擅长各种花式穿球
我没有我说了后来变成了负担
Yeah, I didn't-- Like I said, it was a burden.
之后我就不这么做了我只是这么一说
I stopped doing it for that reason. I'm just saying,
如果这么做合法
if it was legal, it's, like,
那场面肯定会很有意思
definitely an interesting visual.
如果不那么做
Okay, if not that...
我们得做个视频就像我说的那样
So we're gonna make that video, like I said,
表现出真正的利尔·迪基
that shows exactly who Lil Dicky is.
-没有噱头也没有扯淡 -但你没听我说
- No gimmicks, no bullshit. - But you're not listening to me.
我自己都不知道利尔·迪基是谁
I don't even know who Lil Dicky is.
我一直在说
Like, that's what I'm saying.
我也想弄明白
Like, I'm trying to figure it out.
我现在都不知道这是怎么一回事了
I don't even know what this thing is yet.
利尔·迪基是谁他是传奇
What Lil Dicky is? He a legend, bro.
难道你没有准备好吗我们出发吧
Ain't you TTG, trained to go? Let's go, baby.
我们直接冲向山巅
We going straight to the mountaintop.
总统山那种等级的
Mount Rushmore-type shit.
我们直接过去做我们该做的事
Let's go over here, do what we got to do.
我们漫步过去扭动身子上台表演
Let's gander, wiggle up, hit the stage.
我和他就像欧文·哈特和布雷德·哈特
Me and him. Bret Hart, Owen Hart,
从顶绳上做高飞特技懂我意思吗
jumping off the top row. You know what I mean?
来一场大乱斗
Let's Super Smash Brother these hoes, bro.
-听我说 -盖塔
- Listen to me, bro. Come on. - Gata!
你得冷静下来
Dude, you need to calm down.
听听你自己说的都是什么话
Listen to yourself, bro.
我的错
My bad, y'all.
我去喝点水
I'm-a go get some water over here.
这是你的错
This is your fault.
我不知道
I don't know.
我觉得挺好
It's a lot.
妈你上次去
Ma, when the last time
博览大道和费格罗路的福乐鸡店是什么时候了
you been to Chick-fil-A on Expo and Fig?
我可不想去那家店
Ooh, I don't feel like going to Expo and Fig.
为什么他们有最好的酱料和服务
What? They got the best sauce, the best service.
咱家里就有吃的已经付过钱了
But we got food at home, already paid for.
-谢谢 -已经付过钱了才不会有人
- Thank you. - Already paid for? Ain't nobody worried
-在乎福乐鸡的价格呢 -我知道你不在乎
- about the price of Chick-fil-A. - Well, I know you're not,
毕竟你都花钱买♥♥了一双
after what you just spent on the same pair of shoes
-同款不同色的鞋了 -不行
- in different colors. - Aw, hell no!
你可不能来这买♥♥鞋你还欠我钱呢
I know you ain't in here buying shoes. You still owe me money.
放松点哥们
Relax, bro. Come on.
和放不放松没关系
Ain't about to relax, bro.
-你自己知道该什么时候还我钱 -放松
- You know what time it is with me. - Just relax, bro.
别当着这么多人的面
In front of all these people?
-这事没那么严重 -我才不在乎别人蠢货