说唱王戴夫

Dave S01E07

Part 4 July 4, 2020, 2:01 p.m.

I mean, I don't want to overstep my boundaries.
我相信有许多人去找你
I'm sure, like, a bunch of people come to you like,
"我有个节拍给你"
"Yo, I got a beat for you,"
"我来给你伴唱吧" 所以...
"Yo, let me rap for you," So it's, like...
但你现在还是在底层混
I mean, but you're understeppin'
因为你没有主动向别人展示你的作品
'cause you're not trying to show somebody that work.
我知道我只是害怕
I feel you. I just be scared.
我不想当个怪胎
I don't want to be weird.
天哪真酷
Damn! Oh, sick.
这现在是我最喜欢的衣服了
This is my new favorite shirt.
这玩意儿看起来酷毙了
That's like some 300 shit. Give...
击个掌伙计
Give me a high five, man.
这是我给他选的
You know, I... I picked that shit out for him.
真的吗这看起来像是
For real? That's like some
"这是斯巴达"这种气势
"This is Sparta!" looking-ass shit.
你知道我在说什么吗
You know what I'm saying? It's that, "Yeah!"
就像是"你不开心吗"
Yeah, like, "Are you not entertained?!"
好吧
Okay.
或许不像
Maybe not?
你能放《美国派对》吗
Hey, can you play "Party in the U.S.A."?
我宁愿把牙都拔光
I-I actually would rather just pull all my teeth out,
然后吃牛排
try to eat a steak, maybe.
你说什么我是赞助公♥司♥的
Excuse me? I work for the sponsor,
如果你还想继续干下去的话
if you're interested in keeping this gig.
我的天这也太可怕了
Oh, my God. That's so crazy.
如果我没有这份工作了
What am I gonna do if I don't
-我该怎么办呀 -去你♥妈♥的♥
- keep this fucking gig? - Screw you.
我今晚还怎么填饱肚子啊女士
How am I gonna eat tonight, lady?!
洛杉矶来点声音
L.A., open up that fucking pit!
你们都听不见我说话
None of you guys can fucking hear me.
你知道这是什么你就是个屌♥丝
Hey, you know what the fuck it is. You're a loser. Ha!
就是这样你就是个屌♥丝
That's my fucking loser. That's my guy right there.
如果你或者你的爱人被诊断出间皮瘤
If you or a loved one was diagnosed with mesothelioma,
你就可以攒钱了
you can collect money or some shit!
她背着你偷腥了傻子
She's cheating on you, dawg. You know.
你背叛了这个黑鬼
You're cheating on that nigga. Yeah.
白人们怎么样你们这堆垃圾
What's up, white people?! Yeah, you're fucking trash.
喜欢黑人就击个掌好极了
High five if you love black people. Fuck, yeah.
如果你不喜欢黑人就击个掌你太疯狂了
High five if you don't love black people. You're crazy.
我能点首歌♥吗
Hey, can I make a request?
只能是"土豪老全"的《从我面前滚开》
Only if it's "Get The Fuck Out My Face" By Rich Homie Quan.
要不来一首《别犯傻了
How about "Don't Be Lame.
我大老远赶过来参加这个噩梦般的活动
I Came All The Way Here in Rush Hour to This Nightmare Event
副驾驶还没有窗户只为看到你这个蠢逼》
With No Passenger Side Window to See Your Dumb Ass."
这是我喜欢的歌♥
It's my jam.
我为什么跟你生气来着
Like, why was I mad at you again?
我记不得了
I really can't remember.
我不知道
I don't know.
那就当这是道歉了我接受了
Well, I'll just accept this as an apology.
这不是道歉我不是来道歉的
This is not an apology. I didn't come here to apologize.
所以你来是因为你想我了吗
So you came here 'cause you missed me?
没有我你活不下去吗
You couldn't live without me?
或许吧
Maybe.
或许没有我你活不下去吗
Maybe you couldn't live without me?
我们真该做♥爱♥
We should have fucked.
我很高兴我们做了
I'm happy we fucked.
当他妈然了我也很高兴我们做♥爱♥了
Obvious fucking-ly, I'm happy we fucked, too.
当他妈然了
Obviously fucking-ly.
我只是不想让我们的朋友知道
I just don't want our friends to find out yet, so...
我最不想经历的事
I mean, dude, the last thing I want in life
就是戴夫给我情感建议
is Dave giving me fucking relationship advice,
相信我我理解
so trust me, I understand.
你觉得我想让艾丽给我情感建议吗
Do you think I want Ally to give me relationship advice?
你觉得我想让艾丽给我情感建议吗
You think I want fuckin' Ally to give me relationship advice?
-天哪 -不想所以我们没事
- Jesus Christ. - No. So we're good.
你是个疯子你知道吗
You're a crazy person, you know that?
我就当你是在夸我
I take that as a compliment.
什么情况老兄
What's up, man?
糟糕音乐停了
Oh, shit. The music stopped.
糟糕
Oh, shit.
如果你们听到了这首沉默的迪斯科那就来点尖叫
If you're here for the silent disco, make some noise!
放吧老兄
Play it, man.
快放吧
Let's play it.
你敢相信吗等等
Can you believe that? Okay, wait.
我有东西要给你
I got something for you.
把眼睛闭上
Close your eyes.
借过一下一件木头衣服要来了
Excuse me. Wooden shirt coming through.
什么要来了
A what coming through?
请睁眼
Open your eyes.
什么鬼
What the hell?
这是什么
What is that?
-这是件木头衣服 -我能穿上吗
- It's a wooden shirt. - Can I wear that?
当然所以我才给你买♥♥
Obviously. That's why I got it for you, fool.
那我就穿上
Well, put it on.
给我穿上
Put it on me.
得像开门一样把它打开
Okay, it opens like a door.
你准备好了吗
Are you ready?
你别闹
Okay, you got to stop.
别搞我
Don't... don't do that.
我发现如果我们要继续下去的话
I realized that if we're gonna keep doing this
你可能需要更多的衣服所以...
that you need more shirts, so...
合适吗
Does it fit?
你看起来像钢铁巨人等等
You look like the Iron Giant. Hold on.
这是你的耳机
Here are your headphones for the...
应该再给你拿个腰带和头盔
Get you a seatbelt and a helmet maybe.
-等等你不用... -我转不过来
- Hold on, wait, you have to... - I can't turn.
你不能转向那边
No, you can't turn that way.
再来一下再来两下
One more. Two more.
我有个主意
I have a plan.
-什么主意 -在这之后
- What's your plan? - So after this,
我们去看《朋友也上♥床♥》
we watch Friends with Benefits.
-好 -我们会哭
- Okay. - We cry a little bit,
但笑声更多
laugh a little more.
第二步脱掉我的衣服
Step two-- my clothes, gone.
第三步由女士决定
Step three-- lady's choice.
许多外国人认为敲木头会给他们带来好运
你觉得你会变得幸运吗
You think you're gonna get lucky?
敲木头
Knock on wood.
你明白了吗这个梗真是太棒了
You get it? That was good, that was good.