说唱王戴夫

Dave S01E01

Part 4 April 5, 2020, 5:34 p.m.

你不会要骗YG
You're not gonna trick YG
说唱他鸡♥巴♥的尺寸吧
into rapping about the girthness of his dick.
我没有骗他啊
There's no trick here.
他是个商人哥们
He's a businessman, bro.
他在巴尼百货卖♥♥他的东西他又不傻
He sells shit at Barneys. He's not an idiot.
前几天我读到过一篇文章上面说YG是素食主义者
You know, I read the other day that YG is actually vegan.
让我吃了一惊我本来以为他
Which shocked me. I would have expected that guy to be
是纯肉食主义者
fully carnivorous.
纳蒂
刚把钱汇过去了
收到了吗
在吗
老哥给个答复
进来的时候敲个门行吗
Can you please knock when you walk in here?
这是你发的推文吗
Did you tweet this?
"刚刚被口了个爽" 没错
"Just got head." Yeah.
你♥他♥妈♥搞我呢吧
Are you fucking kidding me?
-怎么了 -戴夫我妈妈刚刚打电♥话♥来
- What? - Dave, my mom just called
问你为什么要让推特上所有人都知道
and asked why you're telling everyone on Twitter
我给你口了
that I gave you head.
我没说是艾丽·温妮科给我口的
Well, I didn't say that Ally Wernick gave me head.
我什么细节也没说就说了"刚刚被口了个爽"
I was very nonspecific. It just said, "Just got head."
很好那到底是谁给你口的
Oh, cool. So who's giving you head, then?
没人艾丽不存在什么口♥交♥ 这只是个玩笑
Nobody, Al. It's fictitious head. It's a joke.
我很乐意和你妈妈打电♥话♥
I'm happy to jump on the phone with your mom
然后向她解释推特到底是怎么一回事
and explain how Twitter works and how
以及推文的内容都不一定是真的
everything that's tweeted isn't a real thing necessarily.
这非常真实
Oh, it's a very real thing
真实到我现实工作中的同事都能看得见
that my very real principal at my real job can read.
你们别再把它当成戴夫·伯德的推文纠结了
You guys need to stop thinking about this like it's Dave Burd's Twitter.
这是利尔·迪基的推文
This is Lil Dicky tweeting.
完全是两码事
They are totally different things.
那就和我解释一下有什么区别
Okay, then explain to me the difference,
把话说清楚
just so we're clear.
戴夫·伯德无时不刻
Dave Burd takes your feelings into account
都会关照你的情绪
at every waking moment.
而利尔·迪基永远也做不到这一点
Lil Dicky, on the other hand, can never do that.
抱歉我实在没工夫操心
I'm sorry. I can't worry about what my girlfriend
我的女朋友和她幼儿园班上的孩子们
and her kindergarten class are gonna think
会对我和一个来例假的姑娘玩69的歌♥词作何感想
as I rap lyrics about, like, 69-ing a girl on her period.
这个例子不怎么样
I mean, that's a terrible example.
但你把我想象成一家公♥司♥
But think of me as, like, a corporation.
比如温蒂快餐公♥司♥发推文
Like, when Wendy's tweets, for example,
我觉得不会有人真的以为是温蒂这个人发的推文
I don't think anybody thinks that it's actually Wendy.
不因为温蒂不是真人
No! Because Wendy is not a real person.
好吗而且温蒂快餐公♥司♥也不会发推文
Okay? And-and Wendy's isn't tweeting
说温蒂给戴夫·托马斯口了
that Wendy sucked Dave Thomas's dick.
戴夫·托马斯为温蒂快餐创始人
温蒂是真人她是戴夫·托马斯的女儿
Wendy is a real person, it's Dave Thomas's daughter.
-虽然你不会愿意听不过 -天哪
- You're not gonna want to hear that, but... - Oh, my God.
好吧我不想让我妈妈知道我给你口了
Okay. I-I don't want my mom knowing that I give you head.
你可以好好想想
You can wrap your brain around that.
你妈妈知道你给我口了我妈妈
Your mom knows you give me head. My mom--
咱这年龄段的人不就是互相口吗
everybody's giving everybody head at our age.
-我没给你口 -我知道艾丽
- I didn't give you head! - I know, Al!
这是我的观点你在替我证明我的观点
That's my-- you're making my point for me.
我都不知道我们到底在吵啥了
I don't even know what we're talking about here!
我今天给YG的经纪人汇了一万块
I wired YG's manager $10,000 today.
我还没告诉你
I didn't tell you that yet.
钱一汇过去之后
And as soon as I did that,
他就开始不回我短♥信♥了所以
he stopped responding to all of my text messages, so...
-一万块 -没错
- $10,000? - Yep.
我不知道钱到底去哪儿了
I have no idea where the money is.
我都不知道这家伙是谁
I don't even know who this guy is
他到底是不是真人我都没见过他
or even if he's a real person. I've never met him.
你没见过他
You've never met him?
没见过
No.
我只知道他的名字叫纳蒂
All I know about him is that his name is Nutti.
戴夫
Oh, Dave.
抱歉我犯浑了
Al, I'm sorry for being an asshole.
我不该说那些话
I should never have said that.
但我很爱你你就是我的月亮我的心
But I love you so much. You're my moon, you're my rock,
你是我在这个世界上最喜欢的人
you're my favorite person in the world.
和我父母并列
Tied with my parents.
但我现在一团糟
But I'm a wreck right now.
我这辈子压力从来没有那么大过
I've never been more stressed in my life.
在你来之前我其实在哭
Before you came, I was actually crying.
-你在哭吗 -是的
- You were crying? - Yes.
你想让我揉揉你肚子吗
Do you want a belly rub?
真的吗太好了
Really? Yes.
天哪
Oh, my God.
我要把整个世界的重量都给你
I'm putting the weight of the world on you.
现在整个世界都压在我身上我得赶紧卸下来
It's on me; I need to get it off me.
纳蒂
抱歉打了这么多电♥话♥ 我需要回复
这可是一万啊
拿起手♥机♥ 老哥
三天不回消息
让我理一下思路
So let me get this straight.
根本就没有什么合同
There were absolutely no contracts at all?
对没有合同
No, there's no contracts
都这个时候了你还提合同真可笑
at this phase-- it's laughable you'd even suggest such a thing.
是我犯蠢了
Stupid guy over here.
我只不过是一直在和华尔街的人共事
I just work with people on Wall Street all the time.
钱和生意之类的事我真是完全不懂呢
I don't know about money or business or any of that kind of stuff.
这完全是两码事你到底在说什么
It's a totally different world. What are you talking about?
你有没有想过
Did you ever think for a second that perhaps this guy
这个把你介绍给纳蒂的人可能设了个局
who introduced you to Nutsi maybe set you up
就是为了骗你的钱
just to take your money?
盖塔
Gata?
盖塔这是男人的名字吗
Gata? That's a man's name?
我压根就没考虑过这种可能性
I didn't even think about that as a possibility.
废话你这个人满脑浆糊
Of course you didn't. Your brain is basically pulled pork.
哥们你被骗了
Come on, dude, you got scammed.
如果我去找这个盖塔谈谈
If I go and talk to this guy Gata,
你愿意和我一起吗
will you come with me?
不为什么是我
No. Why me?
你刚刚还在教育他钱和生意是怎么回事
You were just lecturing him about business and money.
麦克你是我最好的朋友
Mike, you're my best friend.
求你和我一起去吧拜托了
I'm asking you to come, please.
我爱你
I love you.
但还是带艾丽去吧
Take Ally.
-我还要过周末 -算了
- Weekends are for me. - No.
你就是个怂逼我去
You're a pussy. I'll go.
打辆车我不在乎
Call a Lyft. I don't give a fuck.
我不会带我女朋友
I'm not gonna bring my girlfriend
和我一起去要钱这感觉很奇怪
with me to get the m-- it just feels like such a weird thing to do.
我知道这可能有点性别歧视不过
I know that's sexist, probably, but...
-就是 -带我去更奇怪
- It is. - It's even weirder to take me,
因为这会让你看上去像是带了保镖
'cause then it looks like you went and got your muscle,
然后他们就会
and they're just gonna be like...
就你还保镖呢
You're the muscle?
你在嘲笑我吗
You're laughing at me?
你还和一个全身上下一点肌肉没有的人上过床
You have sex with a man with no muscle on his body.
只有骨头和肌腱
That's bone and tendon.
你瘦的像个提线木偶你心里清楚
You're a marionette. You know that.
好吧为什么非要我们去你自己去不就行了
Okay, why do we need to go? You just go.
-是啊 -你们没见过这个家伙
- Yeah. - Y... you guys haven't met this guy.
你们不了解情况算了我自己想办法吧
You have no context. Never mind, I'll figure something out.
迪基
Dicky.
利尔·迪基天哪
Lil Dicky. Holy shit, man.
-你好 -天哪能来张合照吗
- Hi. - Hey. Gosh, can I get a pic?
-当然 -绝对没问题
- Yeah, of course. - Definitely.
太好了其实我也是个说唱歌♥手
Sweet. You know, I'm a rapper, too.
我艺名叫南斯
I go by Nuance.
不错