说唱王戴夫

Dave S01E03

Part 1 April 5, 2020, 5:35 p.m.

你们... 确定这样没问题吗
Are you... sure this is okay?
我们真的该这么做吗
Should we be doing this?
他是戴夫
It's just Dave.
行好吧
Yeah. Okay.
来吧
Do it.
你可以把手伸到胸罩里
You can go under the bra.
埃尔兹我同时摸了两对奶♥子♥
Elz, I felt them up at the exact same time.
天哪
Oh, my God,
奶♥子♥的手感真是最好的
the breast meat is the best kind of meat.
神仙手感超级软
It's amazing. It's so soft.
质感真的没的说
It's just... it's awesome.
-你把她们俩都摸了 -然后凯拉说
- You felt them both up? - And then Kayla said...
现在我们想摸你
Now we want to feel you up.
你不会让她们摸你的鸡♥巴♥
There's no way you let them touch your dick.
其实吧
Actually...
我有艾滋病
I have AIDS.
等等你说什么
Wait. What?!
戴维把电♥话♥挂了马上来我们房♥间
David, hang up the phone and come to our room right now.
-妈妈 -我一直都在听
- Mom? - I've been listening the whole time!
马上过来
Right now!
她们在干什么
They were doing what?
他在跟凯拉·沃特斯和玛洛莉·帕克玩三人行
He was in a threesome with Kayla Waters and Mallory Parker.
三人行你们做♥爱♥了吗
A-A threesome? You're having sex?!
他摸了她们
Well, he felt them up.
他们每天都在一起玩闹[互摸屁♥股♥]They're sitting around playing grab-ass every day.
等等你刚刚那话什么意思
W-Wait a minute. What does that mean?
他摸了她们的奶♥子♥吗
He-he felt their breasts?
她们有没有摸你的鸡♥巴♥
Did they touch your penis?
你跟这俩姑娘的进度太快了戴维
This friend group is way too fast for you, David.
那又怎样
What does it even matter?!
反正我的鸡♥巴♥很烂也没法给女孩看
My dick is too messed up to show a girl anyways!
你这话是什么意思戴维
What do you even mean by that, David?
你...
You...
你是说因为手术吗
Like... from the surgeries?
是啊
Yes!
我不知道你还在纠结这个问题亲爱的
I didn't know this was still an issue for you, honey.
比美观更重要的
I mean, beyond cosmetically,
是功能问题
is there a functionality problem,
功能不是问题唐
Functionality is not the issue, Don.
问题在伤疤那个错位的马眼
It's the scarring, the mislocated pee hole,
第二个马眼
the second pee hole.
第二个马眼
Well, the second pee hole,
我记得有个很简单的解决办法
there's an easy fix to that, as I recall.
就是再做一场手术
There's another procedure.
我才不要穿一年的尿不湿
I'm not wearing a diaper for a year!
他不想穿尿不湿他没事
He doesn't want to wear a diaper! He's fine.
他只要在尿尿的时候用手堵住第二个马眼就好了
Just plugging up the second hole with his finger when he pees.
-这事我们已经讨论过了唐 -好吧
- We already decided that, Don. - Okay.
我怎么和女孩用我的鸡♥巴♥ 上面全是伤疤
How can I ever use it with a girl? It's scarred.
还会漏还很小还...
It leaks. It's small. It's...
尺寸不重要亲爱的
Well, size doesn't matter, sweetheart.
这是编的你♥爸♥的鸡♥巴♥就很小
That's a myth. Your father has a small penis.
平均尺寸好吧
It's average.
真的
It is.
美国平均尺寸
In America.
说唱王戴夫
第一季第三集
我不同意不
I disagree. No.
不我告诉你我很喜欢《一个明星的诞生》
No, I-I told you, I loved A Star Is Born.
我觉得那是部超棒的电影
I think it's a fantastic film.
你看起来好硬
Oh, you look so hard.
来吧
Yeah.
德雷克
好了我要去录音室了
All right, man, I'm going to the studio.
-祝你今天成果满满 -我爱你
- Have a very productive day. - I love you.
我爱你
I love you.
♪我舔了她的屁♥眼♥♪
♪ I ate her ass ♪
♪她高♥潮♥了我气喘吁吁♪
♪ She came, I gasped... ♪
再来一遍
Another.
倒回去
Run it back, yep.
♪我舔了她的屁♥眼♥♪
♪ I ate her ass ♪
♪她高♥潮♥了♪
♪ She came... ♪
不行吗
No?
-好久不见 -你怎么样
- It's been too long. - How you been?
看看你这可爱的娃娃脸
Look at you, you sweet baby face.
我尽力了
Well, I try.
我听不见你说话
I can't hear you.
按按钮
Press the button.
你好惊不惊喜
Hi! Surprise.
你好真是个惊喜
Hello. What a... Yeah, what a surprise.
那是个弗兰克家的长条鸡肉芝士三明治吗
Is that a buffalo chicken cheesesteak from Frank's?
-是啊好眼力 -是你有心了我的小天使
- Yes. Good eye. - Good idea, my cherub.
你就是个从...
You're an angel sent from...
幼发拉底河来的小天使
the Euphrates.
那条河在伊♥拉♥克♥ 不过多谢夸奖
That's in Iraq, but thank you.
-伊♥拉♥克♥没什么不好的 -我放在这儿了
- There's nothing wrong with Iraq. - I'm gonna set it over here.
你今天过得怎么样还好吗
How's your day going? Good?
挺好的你的声音听起来很酷
So good. You sound... really cool.
是吗
Do I?
还真是
Yeah.
别假装这声音是你自己发出来的了好吧
Let's not act like it's you doing it yourself, though.
这声音电脑处理过了
There's, like, mad plug-ins right now,
所以他听起来像个真正的说唱歌♥手
so he sounds like an actual rapper.
每个说唱歌♥手都会用延迟和混响这是基本操作
Every rapper has delay and reverb, it's very standard.
我喜欢
I like it.
多谢你给我送来三明治我爱你
Well, I couldn't be more appreciative of that sandwich. I love you.
我们得录完这首歌♥
We have to finish this song.
-好的 -等我录完了出去之后
- Okay. - Can I FaceTime you in a little bit
-我能跟你视频聊天然后... -好的
- when I get out of here and we can... - Okay.
等等什么事这么急
Wait, wait, wait. What's the actual rush?
戴夫在制♥造♥魔法我在这里
Dave's making magic. I'm here.
好吧
Okay.
我还挺想看看魔法诞生的
I'd like to see the magic happen.
如果...
If that's...
没什么魔法我只是在这里喘气而已
It's not that magical. All I'm doing is breathing.
你应该挑个更有意思的时候
It's not necessarily the most entertaining moment
再来录音室看我
to see me in the studio.
我活着就是为了喘气我很喜欢这种感觉
I...live for breathing. I love it.
行吧倒回去我们再喘一次
Great, run it back. Let's do another... breath, please.
♪这事情真奇妙♪
♪ It is weird yet lit ♪
♪一连串事情真奇妙♪
♪ What a chain of events ♪
♪我一直在操♪
♪ I've been fucking ♪
♪舔了她的屁♥眼♥♪
♪ I ate her ass ♪
♪她高♥潮♥了我气喘吁吁♪
♪ She came, I gasped ♪
♪我又...♪
♪ I went... ♪
刚刚那声还挺好
That was actually a fairly good one.
然后就加点延迟效果 "屁♥眼♥ 屁♥眼♥ 屁♥眼♥ 屁♥眼♥"
And make the delay like, "Ass, ass, ass, ass."
就一长串"屁♥眼♥"
Like, fully wet "Ass."
然后叠起来...
And stack them and...
-你管那叫什么来着 -摩西[圣经中古代犹太人领袖]- What do you call it? - Moses.
摩西一下那玩意
Moses that fuckin' shit.
♪舔了她的屁♥眼♥ 她高♥潮♥了我气喘吁吁♪
♪ I ate her ass, she came, I gasped... ♪
♪我又射了不整理我的床♪
♪ I went again, won't make my bed ♪
♪我妈妈生气了她说别做说唱♪
♪ My mom got pissed, she said, "Don't rap." ♪
-好吧 -你喜欢这样吗
- Okay. - You like that?
我喜欢这种精神
I like the spirit of it.
但在实际中我有点...
In practice... You know, I do just...
我桌上的东西都是井井有条的
I had, like, so many well-organized things there.
能不能让我...
Can I just, like...
因为我肯定会一直惦记着...
'Cause I won't be able to get past the...
-好吧我在床上等你 -就让我...
- Okay. I'll meet you on the bed. - Let me just...
稍微收拾一下整理一下
straighten up, tidy up a little bit.
只有几件事要做这些放在桌子上