说唱王戴夫

Dave S01E06

Part 3 April 5, 2020, 5:35 p.m.

我没法放松就像你说的
I can't relax. Just like you said,
-我正爽着呢 -好吧
- I'm having fun... - Uh-- All right,
这是一次商业出行你代表了我的形象
Well, this is a business trip. You represent me.
我的朋友们肯定会希望我这么做
All my friends would love the way I represent.
我绝不会为兄弟退让
Nigga, I go hard for my homies.
你打算就让他这么欺负我们换座位吗
Are you gonna let him bully us up out of this section?
-这没什么 -我觉得这事大了
- It's not that big of a deal. - It's that big to me, my nigga.
我们在费城这是你的首秀
We in Philly. Nigga, this is your first show.
-我们在夜店里喝着酒看着妞 -好吧
- We in the club, popping bottles, bitches... - All right!
好吧
All right.
-这他妈算什么 -放松放松
- What the fuck, bro? - Relax. Relax.
哥们如果是其他人
Bro, anybody else would appreciate
绝对会感激我这么做
that I'm going this hard for them.
你就像个娘们一样
You acting like a pussy.
好吧我们得换座位
All right, we got to go to a different section.
-盖塔够硬 -没错
- Gata's super hood, huh? - Yeah.
你♥他♥妈♥是白人对吧
You're fucking white, huh?
-什么 -一会见
- What? - Yeah, I'll see you in a second.
行没问题
Okay, cool.
我搞到无线网密♥码♥了
I got the Wi-Fi password.
我压根不在乎我得走了
I could care less. I really have to leave.
很抱歉全世界都找不到比这更恶心的地方了
I'm so sorry, this is the worst place on Earth.
等等他们要干什么他们要去哪
Wait, where are they going? Where's everyone going?
-我不知道 -各位你们要去哪
- I don't know. - Hey, guy, where are you going?
很好
Great.
你们有插座和插头吗
Do you guys have outlets? Do you have plugs?
我和你们说你们绝对没见过
I'm telling you, you've never seen it.
你们绝对没见过马操其他的动物
You've never seen a horse fuck another thing,
比如说人
like a man?
你还记得那次你让我把花生酱
Yo, you remember when you told me to put peanut butter
涂在霍洛维兹床上
all over Horowitz's bed, and I did it
而我不知道他对花生酱过敏结果他差点死了吗
not knowing he was allergic and he almost fucking died?
那场面还挺有意思
It was so cool, though.
我的错霍洛维兹我不是故意的
Man, my fault, Horowitz. I didn't mean to do it like that.
我都忘了你有多搞笑了老兄
I forgot how funny you are, bro.
-你为什么要这么做 -我不是故意的
- Why would you do that? - I didn't mean to.
你没理由这么做
No reason to do that.
你就是传奇好吧
You are a fucking legend.
-对着我耳朵再说一遍 -传奇
- Just say it again in my ear. - Fucking legend.
我知道我知道
I know. I know.
你得再整个活
You should do a Burd Bomb.
-没错 -必须来
- Oh, yes. - Dude, you've got to.
-必须来伯德 -哥们拜托
- You got to. You got to do it, Burd. - Dude. Come on!
-都十五年没看过了 -在这吗
- Been 15 years. - In here, though?
-没错 -就在这
- Yes! - Right here!
整活老兄整活
Burd Bomb, dude. Burd Bomb.
都十五年了你欠我们的
I think so, man. 15 years. You owe us.
-好吧 -这是你的地头啊
- Okay. - You own this place.
先让我站稳
Let me get my footing.
-绝活依旧在 -让我看看周围
- You still got it. - Okay! Let me look around
看看夜店里发生了点啥让我出去一下
and see what's going on in the club. Let me evaluate.
-侦查一下四周 -哥们搞快点
- Scout everything... - Okay, come on, man.
-整活 -好吧不管了
- Burd Bomb! - Well, fuck, all right.
你没事吧哥们
You cool, man? You good?
-没事 -那就好
- Yeah. - Yeah!
-要来了 -好
- Here he goes! - Yeah.
好管它呢
All right. Fuck it.
整个舞台都是你的哥们
It's all you, man. All you, baby.
-好三 -二
- All right. Three... - Two...
一
One...
他尿了
He's pissing...
-他真的尿了 -没错
- He's actually pissing. - Yes.
牛逼
Yeah!
你
You...
你们想让我表演高♥潮♥吗我没意见
You guys want me to come? I'll do it.
-可以了 -我要把这段录像发给所有人
- That's okay. - I'm sending this to everyone, dude.
-去他的厕所 -放松多了吧哥们
- Fuck a bathroom. - Man, you chilling, bro?
我的好哥们
My man.
三通未接来电艾丽
艾丽:你昨晚给我留了条非常奇怪的语♥音♥消息
盖塔这是一张一千八的账单
Gata, this is an $1,800 bill, man.
你最好赶紧联♥系♥你的人
You better call your guy.
我没说酒是免费的我只说了座位是免费的
I never said the bottles was free. I said the table was free.
你不能事后再告诉我们
Well, you can't mention that after the fact, dude.
这太损了
That's so shady.
你说过都安排好了
You said the situation was taken care of.
那你以为是什么意思
What do, what do you think that means?
什么情况
What the fuck?
这不是在夜店尿了自己一身的人吗
If it isn't the guy who pees on himself.
我在夜店尿了自己一身
I pissed myself at the club.
天哪我内♥裤♥还没换
Oh, my God, I'm still wearing the same underwear.
真♥他♥妈♥牛逼
That's fucking epic.
你录下来了吗
Do you have video of it?
没有我很早就走了我得离那些人远点
Nah, dude, I left. I had to get away from all those people.
-你走了为什么 -为什么
- You left? Why? - Why?
哥们我和那些人一秒都待不下去
Bro, I couldn't be around those dudes for another second.
全他妈混♥蛋♥
They're such assholes.
-你觉得谁是混♥蛋♥ -对我来说没人是
- Who was an asshole to you? - To me, no one.
但对你来说和你参加住宿营的每个人都是
But to you, every single person that we went to fucking camp with.
我很认真
Bro, I'm dead serious.
你以为我在开玩笑吗
You think I'm joking?
想想我们一起做过的事
Think about everything that we've ever done
还有我们的经历
and been through.
他们根本不在乎你
They never fucked with you.
我觉得你对童年的回忆有偏差
I think you're, like, really misremembering, like, childhood,
说真的
to be quite frank.
他们崇拜我
They literally idolized me.
-他们崇拜你 -崇拜我没错
- They idolized you? - Idolized me, yeah.
我是住宿营的传奇营员
I'm, like, the most legendary camper at that camp.
你想过吗昨天在夜店里他们让你
You realize last night at the club, they made you
尿了自己一身只是为了他们开心
pee your pants for their own personal amusement.
他们把你当成了一个小丑老兄
They use you like a Jackass human, bro.
你就像史蒂夫·欧一样只不过你一团糟
You're like Steve-O, but in this shitty form
著名喜剧家
而且没有酷纹身
with no cool tattoos.
我喜欢史蒂夫·欧
I love Steve-O.
哥们还有那次达人秀
Dawg, and the talent show?
你以为那是你星途的开端
You act like that's, like, the root of your fucking stardom.
然而并不是他们只是在捉弄你而已
No, it's not. They were making fun of you.
你并不搞笑是你这个人很滑稽明白了吗
You weren't funny, you were funny. You get it?
好吧我不需要你来
Okay. I don't need a lec--
你到底在说什么
Like, what are you even talking about?
早上好
Hey. Morning.
-大唐 -你好
- Wow, Big Don. - Hey. Hey.
每次我看见你你都一副百万富翁的样子
You always look like a million bucks when I see you.
-谢谢 -没事
- Thank you. - Of course.
大日子
Big day.
-你好 -大日子没错
- Hey. - Big day. Yeah.
唐
Don?
你穿的是什么衣服
What the hell are you wearing?
你不能穿这身衣服去演唱会
You're not, you're not wearing that to the concert.
这不是普通的演唱会我是说唱歌♥手的爸爸
Well, it's not just any concert, I'm the father of the rapper.
我已经给你准备了一些衣服
I've laid out some clothes for you.
你准备了什么
You laid out what?
我把衣服放在了床上
I put clothes out on the bed
我还以为...
that I thought would be...
绝对不可能
There's no way.
真的
Yeah, it's true.
你的表妹绝对没有体验过本·拉♥登♥的金手指
Your cousin did not get fingered by bin Laden.
-真的 -他不都六十五岁了吗
- Yes, she did. - Isn't he, like, six-five?
-所以呢 -算了随便吧
- So? - Yeah, whatever.
伯德卡丽来了