说唱王戴夫

Dave S01E04

Part 3 April 5, 2020, 5:35 p.m.

最有名的说唱歌♥手聊了聊托德·迪勒森
with the most famous rapper I've ever met, uh-uh, Todd Dillerson.
-托德·迪勒森 -托德·迪勒森没错
- Todd Dillerson? - Yeah, Todd Dillerson.
泰·朵拉·尚吗
Ty Dolla Sign?
泰·朵拉·尚没错就是他
Ty Dolla Si-- that's it, Ty Dolla Sign. Yeah, him.
我以为叫他托德更正式一点...
I thought it was more formal to say Todd...
-他不叫托德·迪勒森 -对我知道
- His name's not Todd Dillerson. - Right. I get it.
-你在开玩笑吗 -好了管它呢
- Are you joking? - Okay. Whatever.
你这是在纠结细节这...
You're getting lost in the details. That-That-That's...
难道不是你经营着那个小破公♥司♥
Aren't you the guy who runs a rinky-dink operation that lets
让说唱歌♥手们一时兴起就从他那边拿走几万块钱
rappers take tens of thousands of dollars from him on a whim?
LilDicky.Com这个网站都不是你的
You don't even own LilDicky.Com.
又不是我没试着买♥♥过这个网址
It's not like I didn't attempt to buy LilDicky.Com.
有人抢先下手了所以我只能注册LilDicky2.Com
It was taken on GoDaddy, so I had to get LilDicky2.Com.
-就这么回事 -好吧利尔·迪基二号♥ 我
- It is what it is. - Right. Well, LilDicky2, I...
找到了利尔·迪基域名的持有者
reached out to the guy that owns LilDicky,
我从他手上买♥♥下来了
and I bought it from him.
-LilDicky.Com是你的了 -没错是我们
- You have LilDicky.Com? - Yes. We,
是我们的了
we have LilDicky.Com.
好吧
Okay.
这一下子有点难以接受
This is a lot to absorb right now.
你看戴夫
Look, Dave...
我需要挑战好吗
I need a challenge, okay?
我需要体验新鲜事物
I-I need something new in my life.
我现在一点也不开心
I'm not happy right now, at all.
你需要一个聪明人也就是我
And you need someone who's smart-- me--
不仅在乎你而且你也信任我
and who gives a shit about you that you trust.
你相信我能当说唱歌♥手吗
Do you believe in me as a rapper?
虽然说出来很痛苦但我确实相信
As much as it pains me to say it, I do, I really do.
为什么
Why?
因为你有潜力具体我不清楚
Because you've got it. I don't know what that is.
之前我一直以为是扯淡
I always thought that was bullshit.
但没有我或是像我这样的人
But without me or somebody like me,
我觉得你的潜能永远无法被完全激发出来
I-I don't think you'll ever reach your full potential.
如果我答应了
If I go through with this...
这只是一次尝试好吗
it's a trial run, okay?
我不希望你现在就辞职
I don't want you quitting your job right now.
-我不希望 -辞职
- I don't want... - My j...
我不会辞职
I'm not gonna quit my job.
不那只是我的副业
No. You-- This is my side hustle.
你才是我的头等大事
You're gonna be my priority,
但我需要挣钱
but I need to make money.
是啊你打算从未来的侃爷身上抽两成
Yeah, you're getting 20% of, like, the next Kanye
开玩笑呢
are you kidding?
这可是你一生中最大的机会
It's the biggest opportunity you'll ever get in your entire life.
是啊如果我当面和你算的话
Wow, yeah, I guess if I do the math right here in front of you,
你现在赚的钱的两成
20% of what you're making right now,
如果我没算错我能得到的分成是...
then if that, if I carry-- and then my cut is...
是零元吗你现在一毛钱都没挣到
Oh, is my cut zero? You don't make any fucking money.
好吧
All right, look.
我看不出有什么不妥的
I'm struggling seeing a downside here,
因为如果不成功炒了你就完事了
because if it doesn't work out, I just fire you.
我又没损失
No skin off my clit.
说实话能有解雇你的权力
And honestly, the ability to fire you
已经能够说服我雇你了
is almost reason enough to hire you.
能亲口和你说你被解雇了
Like, what a joy that would be to just let you know
这感觉得有多爽咱们拭目以待
that you've been terminated. So let's see how it goes.
你是认真的吗
Are-are you being serious?
我愿意给你"临时经纪人"的头衔
I'm willing to give you the title "Interim manager."
很好我这就开工
Wonderful. Okay, I'll get started right away.
你有商业账户之类的吗
So-so, do you have a business account or something, or...?
我会告诉你一个专门办这种事的人的邮箱
I'm gonna put you on an e-email with the guy who does it.
很好
All right, perfect.
周三
能把他过去三年的
Could you send me the last three years
纳税单给我吗
of his tax returns, please?
好的我发给你过去五年的可以吗
Okay. I'll send you the last five, okay?
你有解压缩程序吗
Hey, you get zip files?
我有
Yeah. Yes, I do.
但你不必这么做唐
But you don't ha-have to do that, Don.
不没关系我已经在选文件
No, no, that's okay. Already, I'm selecting...
拖入程序
and dragging...
开始压缩
and zipping.
压缩好了我叫你好吗
I'll let you know when it's zipped, okay?
好的唐我很期待
Okay, Don. Looking forward to it.
麦克我得告诉你
Hey, I-I got to tell you, Mike,
我和卡萝尔真的很开心
Carol and I, we're just so happy
你能负责处理戴夫的财务
that you've taken Dave's finances under your wing.
相信我他花了什么钱我看得最清楚
Trust me, I have a front-row seat to his spending.
简直难以置信家里都有三个自动吸尘器了
It's unbelievable. We have three Roombas at the house,
-而我们连地毯都没有 -看看
- and we don't even have carpet. - Look at...
看看这个晚餐订的外卖♥♥要42美元
look at this-- $42 on a delivery dinner for one.
如果去哪都打车
And-and why did we get him the Camry
我们为什么还把凯美瑞给他
if he's just going to Uber everywhere?
至少他打车的时候会和我们视频聊天
Well, at least he does FaceTime us when he's Uber'ing.
-没错但是这数据数据 -没错
- Yeah, but the data, the data. - That's true.
麦克
Hey, hey, Mike,
-你附近有山姆会员店吗 -好的
- you got a Sam's Club nearby? - Okay.
你应该给戴夫申请一张会员卡
You should get Dave a Sam's Club membership.
他可以用我们的
He can just use ours.
不行这样不符合规定
No, that-that would be illegal.
我们还用凯伦·斯麦丽的葫芦网账号♥呢
We use Karen Smiley's Hulu account.
-这也违法吗 -没有可比性
- Is that illegal? - You can't compare.
-比起诈骗我们只是能说是在借用账号♥ -二位
- We're taking a little bit of a stream once or... - Guys?
-借用那么一两次 -二位我得挂了
- once or twice... wi-with fraud. - Guys? I got to go.
-我得挂了 -你觉得这会伤害别人吗
- I got to jump. - And you think it's gonna hurt somebody?
-我觉得 -山姆店
- I think it's... - Sam?
-我不想惹麻烦 -好了再见
- I don't want to get in trouble. I... - All right, bye-bye.
麦克他挂了就因为你插嘴
Michael! He hung up. Because you came.
-什么 -该死
- What?! - Shit.
麦克
Mike?
-没错 -等等
- Yeah. - Wait-wait-wait.
-是麦克 -没错
- Mike? - Yes.
没错我有雄心壮志我会付出行动
Yeah, man, I have ambition. I make moves.
"你好我是利尔·迪基这是我养的大妖精
"Hi. I'm Lil Dicky, and this is my large leprechaun.
他是我的经纪人如果你们需要咨♥询♥业务
He manages me. If you have any business inquiries,
和他谈吧"
talk to him."
别这样我觉得挺靠谱
Shit, man, I think it's tight, man.
麦克是家人这是咱自己家里的事
Mike is family, bro. We got to keep it in the fam,
把草割干净
keep the grass cut.
我同意 "把草割干净"是什么意思
I-I agree with... What does that mean, the "Grass cut"?
把草割干净这样毒蛇才会显形
Keep the grass cut, fool, so the snakes'll show.
这样你才能看清外面到底发生了什么
Bro, you got to be able to see what's going on out here.
毒蛇你的意思是他不是毒蛇
Snakes. Oh, he's not a snake, you're saying.
没错我当然可以相信他
Yeah, he's... I can trust him. Exactly.
这个因素很关键我知道这个选择很奇怪
That is a big factor. Look, I understand that it's a weird choice,
但他是我大学里最聪明的人
but he was the smartest guy in my entire college.
我以前和他一个班他会和教授争论
I used to be in class with him, and he would get in arguments
然后在全班面前
with professors and win the arguments
赢得争论
in front of the whole class
羞辱教授
and humiliate the profe...
-就像《隔窗友缘》里一样 -不过
- It was like Finding Forrester. - But...
把工作和快乐搅合在一起绝对不是什么好主意
mixing business with pleasure's a terrible fucking idea.
-我们一直是这么做的啊 -我觉得和你一起工作
- We do it all the time. - I find nothing pleasurable
一点都不快乐在我们进行下一步之前
about working with you-- I think you need to understand that
-我觉得你应该先知道 -我不用了
- before we do anything else. - I'm okay.
我问你他明白
Let me ask you this, though-- does he understand
自己是作为雇员为你工作吗
that he works for you, like, as an employee and, you know?
-我想是吧 -来人舔我吧
- I... Yeah, I think so. - Somebody suck me!
-你好 -这是你的鼻涕
- Hi. - That's me as your mucus
对你的洗鼻壶说的
to the neti pot.
-是啊 -还有