说唱王戴夫
Dave
第一季
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说唱王戴夫
Dave S01E06
Part 1
April 5, 2020, 5:35 p.m.
你应该去打鼓 我觉得没人知道
You should play the drums. I feel like no one knows.
用那套脏兮兮的鼓吗
On that musty-ass kit?
这达人秀根本不配我上
Dude, I'm too good for this talent show.
傻子
Foo...
-傻子 -图纳
- Foo... - Tuna,
你别再撒谎了
you need to stop lying.
-你往那里塞糖了 -我为什么要在这事上撒谎
- There was candy. - Why would I lie about that?
如果我的阴毛那儿有糖 那岂不美哉
If there was candy in my pubes, that would be awesome.
所以你的阴毛是绿色的 长得还跟跳跳糖一样吗
So your bush is just green and looks like Pop Rocks?
而且还是一大♥片♥
You just saw a straight bush.
他发神经只是因为他的鸡♥巴♥是咱们之中最小的
Hey, he's just mad 'cause he's got the smallest dick in the bunk.
才不是
No, I don't.
你们也并没有遍览群屌♥啊
We haven't even seen everyone's anyways.
鉴于伯德穿着泳衣洗澡
Well, considering Burd showers with a bathing suit on,
我赌他的最小
my money's on him.
我想整个活
I feel like dropping a Burd Bomb.
-不会吧 -好吧
- Oh, no way. - Okay.
-你们想听吗 -说吧
- You guys want one? - Yeah.
整得搞笑点
Make this the funniest shit I've ever saw.
在圣诞节那天 当中餐店老板得知
What did the Chinese restaurant owner do on Christmas Day,
每个犹太人都会来他的餐馆吃饭 他会怎么做
when he knew every single Jew would be coming in for his foo?
怎么做
What?
他会提前准备[糊自己一脸]He got ahead of it.
你眼镜上沾了东西
You got something... you got something on your glasses.
-那是不是颗鼻屎 -你有一点...
- Is that a booger I see? - You got a little...
♪你好 我是戴夫♪
♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪
说唱王戴夫
第一季 第六集
♪我是利尔·迪基♪
♪ I'm Lil Dicky ♪
♪你好 我是戴夫♪
♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪
♪谁是戴夫♪
♪ Who's Dave? ♪
♪你好 我是戴夫♪
♪ Hi, I'm Dave. ♪
伯德家
宾州 费城
天哪 一定得是我希望的那样
Oh, my God, the anticipation. Please, please, please, please...
给我家儿子做的陪伴鸡肉和陪伴面条
Company chicken and company noodles for my little boy.
份量很足啊
This looks like a very strong batch.
谢谢 亲爱的妈妈
Thanks, sweet'ums.
为什么你们要叫它陪伴鸡肉
Why do y'all call it company chicken?
有人来陪我 我就会做这道菜
It's what I made whenever company came over.
艾略特常常来陪我
Elliot was company quite often.
真好 艾略特
Oh, that's so cute, Elliot.
折磨啊
Burn in hell.
戴维 我又用了几张礼品卡
Oh, David, I used more of the gift card.
我喜欢那个水疗
I love that spa,
每次我做面部护理 我都会想起你
and I think of you every time I get facials.
这种饼干还有吗
Y'all got any more of these crackers?
你喜欢无酵饼吗
Oh, you like the matzah?
是加了芝士吗 马苏里拉芝士饼干
Like the cheese? This mozzarella and cheese crackers?
-不 那是无酵面粉做的饼 -没咬好 抱歉
- No, that's unleavened bread. - Bad bite. Ow. Sorry.
-咬错位了 -所以 盖鳄[名字读错]- Bad bite. - So, uh, Gator,
这是你第一次来费城吗
is this your first time in Philadelphia?
不 我之前来过几次
Nah, I been here a few times, like, you know,
我的小弟们当时还在为泰加干活[谐音老虎]when my boy used to open up for Tyga.
这又是鳄鱼又是老虎的
Gator, Tiger.
下一个人名字叫什么 犰狳吗
Who's next, Armadillo?
我叫盖塔 代表着挑战平庸
G-A-T-A, you know, it stands for Going Against the Average.
懂我意思吧 我想远超常人
You know what I mean? I'm trying to be way above average.
我喜欢这解释
I love that.
这名字是个首字母缩略词 不是个爬行动物名
It's an acronym, it's not reptilian.
等等 说起爬行动物
Wait, speaking of reptiles,
莱尼和莱尼怎么样了
what ever happened to Lenny and Lenny?
它们几年前去世了 我们养了两只乌龟
They died years ago. We had two turtles,
但我们分辨不出 所以就两只都叫莱尼
but we couldn't tell them apart, so Lenny, Lenny.
实际上 它们在自己的"拍泄物"里溺毙了
Actually, they drowned in their own "Feshus."
是因为它们对里面的细菌过敏
Yeah. It was an allergic reaction to the bacteria...
那叫排泄物 唐
It's-it's feces, Don.
我说的就是这个 拍泄物嘛
That's what I said, feshus.
不 是排...
No. F...
-我说的不就是 -拍泄物
- I just... - Feces.
我说的就是这个 "拍泄物"
That's what-- I said "Feshus."
-唐 你说的是不是"拍泄物" -没错
- Don-Don, are you saying "Feshus"? - "Feshus." Yes.
没错 就是这么读的 拍泄物
Fesh-- Yeah, that's right. That's right. Feshus.
-多谢支持 麦克 -拍泄物
- Th-Thank you, Michael. - Feshus?
是排泄物
It's feces.
我感觉你们在拉低我智商
All right, I feel like I'm being punk'd right now.
-好了 麦克 -没错 就是拍泄物 怎么了
- Okay, Michael, Michael... - Feshus, yeah, feshus. Mm-hmm?
戴夫的演唱会门票 卖♥♥得怎么样了
How are ticket sales being handled for Dave's concert?
你什么意思
They're-- What are you-- I don't-- What do you mean?
-你到底想说什么 -我的意思是
- What does that-- What do you mean? - Well, I mean, how...
亲爱的 他们才刚到 好吗
Hey, honey, they just got in, you know?
别这么急着问问题
You don't have to ask every question right now.
-好吧 -他有很多事要做
- Okay. - He has a lot to do.
好吧 我不想占用你们明天的时间
Fine. Perfect. So, I don't want to take up your time tomorrow.
她没救了 我也无语了
She's farshtunken. What-what can I say?
我懂的 大家都很兴奋 我懂的
I get it. We're all excited. No, I know, we're--
-还有个列表啊 -好的 等等
- Oh, there's a list. - Okay, hang on.
-来吧 -那是什么
- Okay. - What is that?
我有一些问题要问
So, I have some questions.
有分配好的座位吗
Is it assigned seating?
天哪 有座位吗 还是大家都挤在一起
Oh, God, is there seating or-or is this like a mash pit?
因为我们邀请了朋友
Because we have invited friends...
他们可受不了
They can't stand.
-说起朋友 -怎么了
- Speaking of friends... - Yeah.
你得把我之前在营里的朋友都放在后台名单上
You got to get all of my camp friends on the backstage list.
不只是GA 我想让我之前的朋友
Not just G.A. I need all my early adopters
-都在那陪着我 -哥们 为什么
- right there with me. - Bro, why?
什么叫为什么
What do you mean, why?
对了 我们能不能在演出期间拍照或录制视频
Oh, can we take photos or videos during the show?
当然可以
Yeah. I mean, yeah,
-只要你带了手♥机♥ 你当然可以拍 -等等
- if you have your phone on you, you certainly can. - Oh, wait.
这个问题我不好意思问 你来问 唐
This is a good-- Well, I'm not gonna ask this. Don...
-这单子是有多长啊 -这是
- How long is this list? - This is...
-唐有个问题要问 你来问 -谢谢 谢谢
- Don has a question. That's your question. - Thank you, thank you.
麦克 到时候会需要我们给小费吗
Mike, Mike, will there-- will there be any situations that involve tipping?
因为这样的话我们就得带点零钱
Because maybe we need to bring some small bills.
我觉得演唱会应该没什么地方需要给小费吧
I don't think there's a lot of tipping that goes on at concerts,
但话虽如此
but that being said,
艾丽
我想你了 你怎么样
以我的经验之谈 我觉得还是带点现金比较好
I just have cash as just like a kind of a-a rule of thumb.
-戴维 把手♥机♥放下 -那挺好
- David... please. - That's very good.
是啊 以防万一嘛
Yeah, just in case.
别在桌上玩手♥机♥
At the table, bro? Come on, man.
还有 戈塔 盖塔 戈塔
And, Gota, Gata, Gota...
你叫我达维恩特吧 如果你觉得这样更好发音的话
Yeah. My name is Davionte, if that's easier,
但你也可以直接叫我盖塔
but you could just call me Gata.
好吧 盖塔
Okay. Gata,
-你是干什么的 -我是伴唱
- what do you do? - I'm the hype man.
你儿子的歌♥每首我都倒唱如流
I remember all your son's songs front to back,
懂我意思吧 确保他不会掉拍子
you know what I mean? Make sure he doesn't miss a beat.
每隔一段 我就在那"嘿"一下 懂我意思吧
Every other word, I'm there. Hype! You know what I'm saying?
懂我意思吧
Know what I mean?
-让观众都嗨起来 -是啊
- Get the crowd all hyped. - Yeah.
左右 举起你们的双手 就那种满不在乎的屌♥样
Left, right, hands in the air, like you don't care type shit.
哎呀 我不是故意说脏话的
Oops. I didn't mean to cuss like that.
在这个家里你可以说脏话的 没事
You can curse in this house.
等等 我们现在可以在这个屋子里说脏话了吗
Wait, we can curse in this house now?
你们又不是十岁的孩子了
Well, you're not ten.
妈的 搞没搞错哟
Nigga, what the fuck?
好吧
Okay.
欢迎来到地下室 盖塔先生
Welcome to the basement, Mr. Gata.
该死的 住地下室吗 别吧老兄
Damn, the basement, bro? Come on, man.
我知道你们有阁楼 让我住上面吧
I know y'all got an attic, bro. Put me at the top, bro.
地下室听上去就很脏乱差
说唱王戴夫
Dave
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