加州靡情（2007）
Californication S04E07
Part 3
Dec. 1, 2020, 11:45 a.m.
I would never stick my dick in him.
我永远不会插他
It would fall off from complete and utter boredom.
它会因为无聊至极而软掉的
Get dir... get directions from Patti.
问问帕蒂怎么去
I'll see you out on the links.
高尔夫球场见
Did he tell you about his anal fissure?
他跟你说他肛裂的事情了吗
Yes. Yes, he did.
嗯 他说了
He's the fissure king.
他是裂缝大王
I'm sorry. He's the worst.
对不住 他最差劲了
I don't know how you stand it here, Patti.
真不知道你怎么受得了
Me, neither. All the guys around here are like that.
我也受不了 这儿所有的男人都那副德性
Sometimes I think I'm never gonna find a man.
有时我觉得自己永远也找不到男人了
What kind of fella you looking for?
你想找什么样的小伙子
Honestly? I just need to get laid.
说真的吗 我只要炮♥友♥
I hear that.
明白了
You know what? I think can help out.
你知道吗 我觉得我能帮上忙
I got a guy for you. He's a sure thing.
我这有个男人 他肯定愿意
Total chrome dome, but he fucks like a champ.
一个锃光瓦亮的大光头 却是嘿♥咻♥大王
Loves to eat the pussy too.
也爱舔小妹妹
I'm listening.
接着说
You a little nervous there, huh?
你是不是有点紧张啊
You never have been one for sales, have you?
你是不是从来没推介过产品是吗
No.
是的
Fuck you. Stop trying to psych me out.
去你丫的 别老想看穿我
You know what? I'm the nervous one.
你知道吗 我才是那个紧张的人
I got the fucking runs.
我闹肚子呢
I think I have a little IBS.
我觉得我有点肠易激综合征
A little TMI.
话有点多了
I'm sorry, my dear.
对不起 亲爱的
Not to worry.
不用担心
It always happens before a pitch.
做推介之前总爱这样
It's a ritual cleansing.
一种清理仪式
So...
这么说
Be quiet.
别出声
What? What? No.
怎么了 别介呀
I was just... I was going to ask about you and Stu.
我只是想问问你和斯图
Stu and you.
斯图和你
Mar-Stu, ha!
玛斯图 哈
That's what the rags would be calling it.
小报上都这么叫
Mar-Stu.
玛斯图
So, how's it going?
进展的怎么样啊
Whatever.
凑合吧
He's nice.
他人不错
Nice.
人不错
Do you like him?
你喜欢他吗
Yes, I like him, Charlie, okay?
是的 查理 我喜欢他 行了吗
It's nice to be with a fucking grown-up for once.
和个成年人交往一次挺好的
I used to be a grown-up...
我曾经也是个成年人
Once.
曾经
I just...
我只是
regressed a little.
有点退化
A little?
只是有点吗
You're like a bald Benjamin Button, aging in reverse.
你就像个光头的本杰明巴顿 逆生长
You're going to die a big,
你死的时候会是个宝宝
pink, quivering jell-o baby.
像个又大又粉还颤悠悠的果冻
Come on.
你就省省吧
Whatever's going on between the two of you,
不管你们俩之间发生什么
I hope you find all the happiness you deserve.
我希望你能找到值得拥有的幸福
I mean that.
我是说真的
Thanks, Charlie.
谢谢你 查理
And you're gonna do great in there.
你会表现地很出色的
Okay. That is better.
好啦 好多了
Got all the poison out.
所有的毒素都排出去了
So, we're ready to do this?
我们准备好了吧
Okay, let's huddle up.
好 彼此打打气
Come on.
来吧
Yes. There we go, there we go.
对 就是这样 就是这样
Motherfucker.
混帐东西
I'm sorry, sir. Collared shirts only.
对不起先生 穿带领子的T恤才能进
And no denim.
也不能穿牛仔裤
What are you, some kind of fascist?
你是谁啊 法♥西♥斯♥吗
What have you got against denim?
反对牛仔裤对你有什么好处
It's the people's fabric.
那是大众布料
I can show you to the pro shop if you'd like, sir.
先生 若你愿意我可以带你去专业店买♥♥
Run. Save yourself.
滚远点 你省省吧
Oh, my God.
天啊
This is just too delicious.
太秀色可餐了
I hate myself, and I want to die.
我恨我自己 我想去死
We are going to have much fun out there.
我们会玩得很开心的
That's impossible. Think about it.
不可能 你想想嘛
We can have guilt-free sex now.
我们现在可以无愧疚地做♥爱♥了
I wasn't guilty. Well, I was.
我本来也没愧疚 我愧疚了
Well, sometimes guilt can make the sex better, you know?
有时候愧疚会让性生活更棒 知道吗
Sometimes it can.
有时候会
Dressing room quickie?
到更衣室里来一发吗
I'll let you play with my putter. Come on.
我让你玩我的球棒 来嘛
Ahem. Looking good, Hank.
嗯 看起来不错啊汉克
You guys ready to go to church?
你们准备好去教堂了吗
Roberta, would you believe me
罗伯塔 如果我说我们这个剧
if I told you we have your next Weeds?
会成为下一个《单身毒妈》 你信吗
Great.
挺好啊
Tell us.
跟我们说说
The name of the show is Hot Lips.
这节目的名字叫《烈焰红唇》
It's centers around the sexploits of an esthetician of the stars.
故事围绕明星美容师们的性利用展开
What is it like to stare into the business end of Sandy Bullock's vagina?
凝视桑德拉·布洛克的阴♥道♥尽头的感觉如何
This woman knows.
这个女人了解
What's it like to take off the hair
从罗宾威廉姆斯的巨蛋上
from Robin Williams' mammoth ballsack?
拔毛毛又是什么感觉
This woman is familiar with every vein.
这个女人了如指掌
I don't...
我没有
I don't do balls, so...
我不管蛋上的毛 所以...
Well, that's good news.
这是个好消息
But anyway, uh...
不管怎么说
But...Unh!
但是
Marcy has stories and stories and stories
玛茜有好多好多这样的故事
that go for days and days and days,
可以讲很多很多天
so I'm gonna hand it off to her,
所以接下来让她继续阐述
and if you will kindly excuse me,
请允许我失陪下
I'm having a little tummy trouble.
我要去解决一下我肚子里的小麻烦
I, uh...
我
I got some stories, kids.
孩子们 我还真有些故事
I've, uh, seen some shit.
我曾经见过一些操蛋事
I've seen...
我见过...
I've got stories... Damn.
我有些故事 妈的
I got stories that'll straighten your pubes.
我的故事能把你的阴毛震直了
Maybe you could tell us one.
也许你可以给我们讲一个
Yeah, of course. I, um...
当然可以 我...
Shit, uh, let me think.
靠 让我想想
'Cause I'm totally fucking drawing a blank here.
因为我现在大脑一片空白
So...
是这样的
Marcy gets a call from a very famous actress.
玛茜接到一个非常出名的女演员的电♥话♥
I'm not gonna name any names here.
我就不点名了
Nicole.
她叫妮可
It's an emergency.
情况紧急
She's shooting at Universal.
她正在环球影城拍片
Her leading man has been flirting with her all day long.
她老板天天跟他打情骂俏
Sean.
那男人叫肖恩
He wants to see her in his trailer
他把她叫到自己的拖车里
to talk about the script, Haiti, whatever.
谈剧本 海地地震 什么都谈
Clearly it is on.
于是应该发生点什么了
But Nicole is sporting
可是不巧
加州靡情（2007）
Californication
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