加州靡情（2007）
Californication S04E04
Part 3
Dec. 1, 2020, 11:45 a.m.
Well, who wants to get baked?
谁想去喝酒
All right, then.
那好吧
All right. Up high.
来 击个掌
Hey, I'll take one of those.
我也来一下
What do you say?
怎么样
What?
怎么
I don't want to know.
我不想知道
Come on. No. You need to find out.
别这样 你必须搞清楚
Did you see
你看到
those hideous fucking creatures downstairs?
楼下那些可怕的小怪物了没
I don't want one of those! Marce, I swear,
我不想要个那样的小孩 玛茜 我发誓
that does not happen for a long time.
孩子不是一直都这个样子的
They're... At first, they're so cute.
他们 一开始时 他们超级可爱
I mean, they're so...
我是说 他们很
Yeah, shitting and pissing all over the place
是 在屋里随地大小便
and making my fucking nipples bleed...
还害我乳♥头♥流血
That's really fucking cute.
真♥他♥妈♥的可爱
No, thank you.
别说了 谢谢
Marce. Kill me now!
玛茜 杀了我吧
Let's just do it. Come on, let's do this thing.
来吧 快 就验一下
You need to...
你得
Fine!
好
Fine.
好啊
Let's do this.
来就来呗
All right!
没问题
Let's get this golden shower started.
开始尿吧
Open up and say pee.
打开屁♥股♥说"嘘嘘"
This is like... this is like The Virgin Suicides
这就像 像《处♥女♥之死》
meets the yule log.
遇到了圣诞柴火
I cannot look away.
我眼睛移不开了
Hey, are you guys really sisters,
你们真是姐妹吗
or is this kind of like a white stripes deal?
还是脱衣舞搭档
Oh, better not.
最好别
I can't. All right, you know what?
不行 好了 知道吗
T.S.T.B.
T.S.T.B.
T.S.T.B.... Too stoned to ball.
T.S.T.B. 吸得太嗨操不起来
Oh, Stu.
斯图
Stu.
斯图
No, back off, fuck toys.
别过来 充气娃娃
This producer is looking for love.
我这是要找寻真爱呢
This guy, up here.
这家伙行 到这来
Moi? Yes, please.
莫伊 过来吧
Well, maybe just for a minute.
就放纵一下吧
Mm, you smell like cigarettes and champagne
你满身烟味和香槟味
and cool ranch doritos.
还有玉米片的味道
And it makes me strangely hard.
让我莫名地坚挺
Number 17.
17号♥
How do you like them apples?
这些尤物很棒吧
See you guys later. Apples and doritos...
回头见 苹果和玉米片
Stu, that sounds pretty good to me.
斯图 听起来不错
You hungry? A little bit...
你饿了吗 有一点
A little, little bit.
一点点
Shit. Fuck. The rabbit done died.
妈的 靠 这事板上钉钉了
I'm sorry, baby.
我很遗憾 亲爱的
Okay, quick.
好了 快
Punch me in the stomach.
朝我肚子打几拳
Go. You have options.
来吧 你还有选择
Oh, really?
是吗
Okay, my options are I either have a fucking abortion,
我的选择是要不就流产
or I have a fucking baby.
要不就得生这个破孩子
Those are what's commonly known as options.
这些就是通常意义上的选择
Okay, so I could either vacuum this nightmare out of my twat,
好吧 所以我要不就把它做掉
or I could settle in for the burden of a lifetime.
要不就接受它拖累我一辈子
Is there anything else?
有别的选择吗
Is there something behind door number three?
有第三个选项吗
Oh, how did this happen to me, Karenina?
我怎么会遇到这种事 凯伦娜
Why does Hashem hate me?
海申姆为什么讨厌我
Fuck.
操
Okay, so who... whose is it?
好吧 孩子是谁的
I don't know.
不知道
Is it Charlie's? Fuck, no.
查理的吗 才不是
That kid's all snipped to shreds.
那家伙已经支离破碎了
It can't be him.
不可能是他的
It's not Rick Springfield.
不会是瑞克·斯普林菲尔德的吧
Uh-uh. He was all about the ass.
不是 他烂人一个
Nice. Yeah.
没错 是啊
Plus, he never came.
再说 他从没射过
What? No, we'd fuck for hours.
什么 是啊 我们干了几个小时
I'd come nine times. He'd shoot a puff of smoke.
我都高♥潮♥九次了 他就射了一丁点
Can't be that dude.
不可能是他的
There were a couple
我有几次
of Craigslist "Casual encounters" here and there...
跟些"萍水相逢"的人干过
Okay.
好吧
But I never let'em raw-dog me.
不过我从没让他们用过后入式
Okay.
好吧
So, shit.
所以 妈的
It could be an immaculate conception.
可能就是圣灵感孕了
What? I'm not good enough to get knocked up by God?
怎么 我不够好吗 上帝让我怀孕不行吗
Fuck you.
滚你的
Some friend you are!
亏你还是我朋友
Come get some rest. Lie down.
过来休息一下 躺好
I can't rest, because your fucking child
我休息不了 你那该死的小崽子
is playing devil music in my living room.
还在我客厅弹那些鬼音乐
No, no, no, it's okay. I'll go get them to stop.
好啦 没关系 我叫她们别练了
No, no, no, good. They're good.
不用不用 她们很好
Let'em play. I like it.
让她们练吧 我喜欢听
It's fine. I'll be fine.
没关系 我会没事的
Do you think I'd make a good mom?
你觉得我会是个好母亲吗
Yes, I think you'd make a great mom.
绝对的 你一定是个好母亲
Fucking-a, right.
是他妈最好的 对不
That little mutant would be lucky to have me.
这小怪胎有我这妈是他运气好
Are you sure you're into this?
你确定要吗
Oh, yes. Take me, agent.
对 快要了我吧 经纪人
I only ask because I'm... I'm encountering
我问你是因为我
sort of a lack of lubrication here.
下面好像有点干
Oh, it's okay. I can grin and bear it.
没事 尽管向我开炮
It'll feel like I'm a "Wirgin."
感觉我像是个"杵女"
A "Wirgin"?
"杵女"
Like virgin, but with a "W."
就是"处♥女♥"啦
It sounds super creepy that way.
听着总能给我带来别样的快♥感♥
Yes. Yes, it really does.
是的 没错
Well...
那么...
Okay, then.
好吧
Here we go.
我进来了
Am I doing something wrong?
我哪里做得不对吗
I'm... I'm not averse to a little guidance here.
我... 我不介意你给我些指导
It's not you. It's him.
不是你的问题 是他
I can't screw with him watching us.
他盯着我没法做
He's got that gleam in his eye.
我不喜欢他那眼神
Well, we're all just mammals here.
人不也是猴子变的
No.
才不是
No, you don't understand.
你不懂
He tried to finger my friend Jess one time.
他有一次想用爪子和我的朋友杰西做
He is highly sexual.
他很淫♥荡♥的
Just get him out of here.
快把他赶出去
Jeez, what is he throwing at me?
妈呀 他把什么扔我身上了
His poo. His poo?
他的便便 便便
Jesus Christ.
我靠
That is one antisocial monkey.
还是只反♥社♥会♥的臭猴子
God! Ew!
真恶心
加州靡情（2007）
Californication
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