加州靡情（2007）
Californication S01E03
Part 1
Dec. 1, 2020, 11:13 a.m.
Previously On "Californication"...
"加州靡情" 前情提要
So, Hank. Meredith.
那么 Hank Meredith
Have You Written Anything I Might Have Read?
你是不是写过什么 我可能读过的呢?
Well, That Depends On Whether Or Not You Read, Meredith.
那得看 你是不是真读书 Meredith
The Good People Hell-A Are Very Interested In Your Thoughts.
Hell-A的人 对你的想法很感兴趣
They Would Like You To Blog For Them.
想请你为他们写博客
Jesus H. Christ.
上帝老天爷啊
I Am 16, You Know.
我16岁 你知道
So I've Been Told.
告诉过我了
Hi, Daddy!
嗨 老爸 宝贝儿 披件衣服吧
Honey, Put Some Clothes On. We Have Company.
有客人呢
Are You Totally Serious About Marrying Bill?
你要跟Bill结婚 不是闹着玩吧?
Yes. Why?
当然不 怎么了?
What About Hank?
那Hank怎么办?
Game On, Broheme.
放马过来吧 老兄
You Want To Get Fucked Up?
想爽一爽吗?
Oh.
喔
Oh, God.
喔 天呐
Must Be Weird, Though. What?
挺不是滋味吧 什么?
Becoming The Employee Of A Man You So Clearly Hate.
那么恨一个人 还得替他打工
What Are You Talking About?
你在说什么?
My Father -- He Owns Hell-A Magazine.
我爸爸 是Hell-A杂♥志♥的老板
Hank: Once Upon A Time, I Wrote A Book.
很久以前 我写过一本书
People Seemed To Dig It, So I Wrote Another
大家似乎都喜欢 于是我又继续写
And One After That.
写完三本
That's When Hollywood Came Knocking At My Back Door.
好莱坞的人找上门来了
As Soon As I Cashed That Check, I Wrapped My Lips
支票一到手
Around The Mighty Erection That Is The Film Industry
我就紧紧含住强力勃起的电影业
And Sucked Hard -- Just Like A Good Whore Should.
猛地吸起来 就跟妓♥女♥没啥两样
Unfortunately,
不幸的是
I Had To Be Taught Not To Orphan The Balls.
得有人教教我 如何在吹♥箫♥的时候兼顾蛋蛋
Moody!
Moody!
Ladies And Gentlemen, Todd Carr --
女士们先生们 Todd Carr 浑身涂满焦糖
The Caramel-Coated, Chrome-Domed Auteur
脑门锃亮的导演
Who Took My Precious Little Novel, Wiped His Ass,
拿走了我的小说 改了改
And Transformed It Into The Craptastic Crowd-Pleaser
再把它变成史上最无趣的东西 娱乐大众
Also Known As "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."
也就是 "有种疯狂的东西 叫做 爱"
My People.
忠实读者喔
You Still Bitching About Whoring Yourself Out To Hollywood?
还在抱怨把自己卖♥♥身给好莱坞?
Only When My Pimp's Not Around.
皮条客不在的时候 才牢骚一下
Although That Could Be A Compliment,
这么说也可以是夸你
And In That Case, I Didn't Mean To.
如果你那么理解 我可不是故意的
I'm Sick Of You Talking Shit About Me In The Press.
你对媒体大谈我的不是 真是我忍♥无可忍♥
Oh, That's Why You're Here.
喔 所以你才来这儿
I Thought You Might Have Come By Because You Found Out
我还以为你来 是发现
I Fucked Your Wife In Almost Every Room Of Your House.
在你家每间屋子里干了你老婆
No? Every Room Of Your House.
不相信? 真的是每间屋子
And I'm Sorry About The Rug.
真对不起把地毯搞脏了
I Didn't Realize The Old Lady Was A Squirter.
我也不知道那老女人竟会射!
Ohh!
哦
Bill: Hank.
Hank
Where's Karen?
Karen呢?
Home, With Becca.
在家 跟Becca一块儿
She's Funny, That One.
那个 她挺有趣
Becca? Yeah, She Is A Real Character.
Becca? 没错 她很有个性 不是
No -- Karen. She Knows How To Push My All Buttons.
Karen 她知道怎样能把我惹毛
I Don't Think She's Trying To Push Your Buttons, Hank.
我觉得 她不是想惹毛你 Hank
Bill, I'm Not Really Interested In What You Think,
Bill 你怎么想的 我一点不感兴趣
But Thank You For Sharing.
不过 谢谢分享
I Wanted To Come.
我本想来的
You Did?
真的?
I'm Not The Bad Guy.
我又不是那坏家伙
You're Not The Bad Guy?
你不是?
Life Is Complicated, Man.
人生复杂啊 老兄
"Life Is Complicated, Man." That's What You Got?
"人生复杂啊 老兄" 你就这点水平?
Way To Dip Into The Platitudes.
都是陈词滥调
I Guess That's Why You're The Writer, Hank.
那就是为何你才是作家 Hank
Oh, Fuck.
该死
I Didn't Ask For You To Fucking Come Bail Me Out.
我又没叫你保我出来
I Didn't Ask For A Fucking Job.
也没求你给我工作
I Don't Know Who The Fuck You Think You Are.
真不知道你到底以为自己是谁
You Think I'm Dying To Be In Business With You?
你以为我死皮赖脸要跟你共事?
Some Rude, Disrespectful Jackass
粗鲁无礼的笨蛋
Who Can't Get Out Of His Own Way?
自己都绊自己脚的家伙?
You Looking For A Dick Punch?
你老二找打呢吧?
Do You Want To Punch Me In The Dick?
你想打我老二?
I Kind Of Do, Yeah, But Standing Here Talking About It
算是吧 嗯 不过咱俩在这儿讨论这个
Is Beginning To Sound Kind Of Gay.
听着好像搞Gay
Go Ahead. Take A Shot.
来吧 有种就试试
But Think --
不过想想
Would You Want Becca To See This?
你愿意Becca看到这些吗?
I'll Settle For A Titty Twister.
我还是改捏咪♥咪♥好了
Bill: God. You're 11.
老天 你咋像11岁似的
Ohh. Fuck.
妈的
Keep The Job, Hank.
保住这份工 Hank
Get Back On Your Feet. Get On With Your Life.
自己站起来
And Forget About The Woman You Didn't Want To Marry.
不想跟她结婚的女人 就别挂念着了
Don't Make Me Get Up And Kick Your Ass All Over Again, Bill!
别逼我再爬起来教训你 Bill
Hi. Remember Me?
嗨 记得我吗?
How Could I Forget?
怎么忘的掉?
Best Blind Date Of My Life, Asshole.
我最棒的相亲对象 混♥蛋♥
We Don't Have Much Time.
咱没多少时间
Your Suitor Will Be Returning From The Shitter Posthaste,
你的求婚者很快就会从茅坑回来
But In His Absence, I Would Like To Offer My Sincere Apologies.
趁他不在 我向你致以诚挚歉意
My Behavior The Other Night
那天晚上我的作为
Was Beyond Appalling, Despicable, Reprehensible.
简直卑鄙可耻 天诛地灭
I Was A Mess. I Have No Words.
我简直一团糟 我都无法形容
For A Guy With No Words, That Was A Lot Of Words.
嘴上说无法形容 可你说的也够多了
That's Funny.
挺有趣的
I-I Wouldn't Have Expected That From You.
我没想到你还有这手
Because You Had Me So Nailed.
你早就看死我
Hmm. Well, Let Me Make It Up To You.
嗯 让我补偿补偿你吧
Let Me -- Can I... Take You Out Sometime?
找个时间约你出去?
I'm Out Right Now --
我正在约会呢
With A Guy Who's Not An Asshole.
对象还不是个混♥蛋♥
Right. Well, Do You See Yourself Marrying This Fella?
没错 你觉得会跟这家伙结婚吗?
You Never Know.
谁也说不准
Girls Know In A Matter Of Seconds
女人几秒钟就能明白 眼前的这个男人
Whether They Want To Fuck, Marry, Or Kill A Guy.
是想干 想嫁 还是想杀
Which Begs The Question, How Am I Doing?
肯定就是那么回事 我说的怎么样?
Bye Now.
再会了
[ French Accent ] Be Good To Her, My Friend.
好好待她 哥们儿
I Had A Shot With Her Once, But I Blew It.
我曾经有过机会 可自己搞砸了
Hang Out With Your Wang Out, But Remember --
来赴约就是为了来"风月" 不过记着
No Gloving, No Loving.
没有套套 就没有爱情
Au Revoir, Mes Enfants. Au Revoir.
再见 我的孩子们 再见
So...
那么...
You Were Brought Up On The East Coast.
你在东海岸长大
Jersey Maybe.
也许是新泽西
No -- Long Island.
不对 长岛
Dad Had A Chip On His Shoulder, Blue On His Collar.
老爸呢 总想跟别人叫板 缺是给人打工的
Mom Was A Little Beat Down By It All,
老妈为此没少受折磨
But She Was The One Who Encouraged You To Dream Big.
却一直鼓励你 要敢想敢为
They Fought Like Cats And Dogs,
他们成天打架
But They Stayed Together Through Good Times And Bad.
但无论顺境逆境 他们仍生活在一起
You Had Sisters. You Learned About Girls.
你有姐妹 所以女孩子的事懂的多
You Were Good With Them -- Maybe A Little Too Good.
你善于应付女人 或许过于善于
You Read Books, And You Didn't Want To Die
你读过不少书
Five Miles From Where You Were Born.
不想死在老家门口
So You Escaped Into The City You Romanticized
于是逃到这个被你浪漫化的城市
加州靡情（2007）
Californication
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