黑色星期一

Black Monday S02E08

Part 2 July 14, 2020, 12:12 p.m.

不用不用
Well, no, no.
那就是这家店的美妙所在
That-that's the beauty of this place.
主厨选择料理
Omakase.
不用我们决定
No decisions.
你只要享受就行
You just roll with it.
接下来的三个小时会让你心醉神迷
These next three hours are gonna blow your mind.
三个小时
Three hours?
听着像是威胁
That sounds like a threat.
那么道恩
So Dawn,
老蒙跟我说你们一同经历了黑色星期一
Mo told me that you two were together on Black Monday.
-没错 -那是什么样的
- Yes - What was that like?
你想听我说实话吗
Uh, you wanna know the real?
-我想知道 -我
- I wanna know. - Well, I--
-好吧 -我不投票
- Okay-- - I don't vote.
投不了我是重罪犯
I can't. I'm a felon.
真是抱歉
Sorry to hear that.
有很多弟兄都是这样
A lot of brothers in that same boat.
-怎么回事 -天呐
- What happened? - Oh, my God.
那就说来话长了
That's such a long story.
道恩说回黑色星期一
So Dawn, back to Black Monday--
那是1968年
The year was 1968.
女人的腋毛还很长
Hair was long... under women's arms,
还是个百老汇热门剧[《毛发》]and a Broadway hit.
我只是个年轻的理想主义者
I was just a young idealist
受够了山姆大叔汤姆大叔那一套
who was tired of Uncle Sam and Uncle Toms.
-没错 -是啊
- Yes. - Yeah.
所以我加入了黑豹党
So I joined the Black Panthers.
-真的吗 -真的吗
- Really? - Really?
真的吗
Really?
真的
Really.
这地方简直
This place turned out...
-完美 -完美
- Perfect! - Perfect!
真不敢相信这是你♥爸♥妈之前那个鬼地方
I can't believe this used to be your parent's stuffy shithole!
可不是嘛
I know!
明天要给这房♥子拍一组大♥片♥
And it's gonna be photographed tomorrow
登上《顶层豪♥宅♥》杂♥志♥主版面
for a big spread in Penthouses Magazine.
我们会成为《顶层豪♥宅♥》的月度明星公♥寓♥
We're gonna be the Penthouses Pad of the Month!
-牛哇 -是吧
- Rad! - Right?
这房♥子太棒了
Oh, this place is great!
我很高兴你喜欢
Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
但我觉得还可以稍微锦上添花一下
I mean, it could do with just one tiny addition.
什么不是刚装♥修♥完吗
What? We just finished renovating.
还需要什么
What could we possibly need?
一间育儿室
A nursery?
除非你说的是育苗室否则我只能回答
Unless you mean for plants, the answer is,
“不可能你疯了吗”
"Fuck no. Are you crazy?"
其实育苗室我也不喜欢
And that kind of works for plants.
布莱尔我想要个宝贝
Blair, I want a baby.
你接下来要说的话
The next words out of your mouth
最好是"三角钢琴" "小鸟"
better be "Grand piano," "Bird,"
或"《宝贝我爱你》的卡带"
or "'I Love Your Way' cassingle. "
我会负责雇人做所有的事情
I'll do all the work of hiring all the people to do all the work.
你什么都不用管只需要
You will not need to do a thing except...
我还特意在四号♥浴室准备好了
And I've even taken the liberty of setting up bathroom four
润滑剂还有新版理查·基尔的GQ杂♥志♥
with some lotion and the new Richard Gere GQ.
不行蒂芙我们不能一起抚养小孩
No, Tiff, we're not raising a baby together.
糟糕的父母会毁掉孩子这我有亲身体会
I know firsthand how a bad parent can fuck up a good kid.
-不绝对不行 -布莱尔
- No, no, no, no. - Blair!
你没有权利拒绝我
You don't get to say no to me!
你绑♥架♥了我的名字我的人生
Okay, you have hijacked my name and my life
还有我的身份
and my identity.
我本来可是蒂芙·乔治纳
I was Tiff Georgina,
但我现在却沦落到在不入流的公共频道
and now I'm just some mom-abee hawking Skants
向一群被基♥督♥教洗♥脑♥的贱♥人♥
to a bunch of Bible breeding bitches
叫卖♥♥兜售宽摆裙
on a channel in the teens!
虽然这不怎么样布莱尔但我认了
It's not great, Blair, but I'll take it.
你休想再夺走我的权利
And you don't get to take it from me.
我可不像你能找个挡箭牌
And unlike you, I don't get to have a beard.
挡箭牌或长胡子
除非我停止服用螺内酯
Unless I go off my spironolactone.
螺内酯副作用是毛发增多
-你真的想生孩子吗 -是的
- Is this really what you want? - Yes.
是没错
Yes, yes!
但我的时间不多了
But my clock's a-tickin',
谐音理查德·基尔
所以你最好把你的小蝌蚪打包好
so you've got to get your Richard in gear,
你懂我的意思吧
so to speak.
些许少量就足够了
A little dollop'll do ya?
小绅士
Little squirtages?
好吧好吧
Okay, Okay-
我们提前试验一下怎么样
What if we do a test run first?
可以
Yes.
我知道有位大人物今晚要来参加选举宴会
I know this hotshot who's coming to the election party tonight,
他有三个孩子
and he's got three kids.
不如你留下来帮他照顾孩子
So why don't you stay home and offer to babysit
看看情况如何
and see how it goes.
在这之后如果你还想要孩子
Afterwards, if this is still what you want,
我就同意
I'm on board.
没问题成交
Yes! Oh, it's a deal!
成交一言为定孩他爸
It's a deal! It's a deal, Daddy.
我们的小宝贝要来了
And here's our little baby boo-boo.
行了别把这个杯子当孩子了
Okay, well, don't infantilize the cup...
毕竟我还要
...cause I have to...
-小宝贝饿了 -用它
- Baby's hungry. - ...use it.
我好像看到了我的竞选经费经理
I think I see my campaign fund manager,
先失陪一下
if you'll excuse me.
我一直在给你打电♥话♥
I've been calling you!
是吗想我了吗
Oh, yeah? You miss me?
想你是如何错过了我们的媒体竞标
Not as much as you missed our media buy targets.
只有85%的选区报告现在还太悬不能宣布
It's too close to call with 85% of districts reporting.
我输掉了夏托盖选区布莱尔我本该赢的
We lost Chateauguay, Blair, where I supposedly live.
我只知道一个夏托钙
Okay, Well, the only chateau gay I know
就是西村区的基佬酒吧
is a boy-lesque house in the West Village,
今晚你获胜后我们就去那里庆祝
where we're gonna celebrate later tonight when you win.
夏托盖在北边但如果你能为
It's upstate, but you'd know that
竞选多花一些精力和金钱你就会知道这点
if you spent a little more time and money on my campaign.
看看吧我们又丢掉了斯克内克塔迪区
Well, look at that. We just lost Schenectady.
都是你的责任布莱尔
This is on you, Blair.
-我发誓如果我输了 -我们不会输的
- I swear to God, if I lose-- - We can't lose.
我们可穿着幸运皮鞋呢
We're wearing our lucky shoes.
你在逗我吗
Are you kidding me?
别再继续毁掉我的生活了
Don't try to ruin my life any more than you already have.
这到处都是相机我的孩子也在
There are cameras everywhere. My kids are here.
我的老婆不在因为她开始怀疑我们了
Of course my wife is not because I think she's onto us,
但至少天上的大人物能来
but at least the big guy in the sky could make it.
-上帝吗 -不是
- God? - No.
我邪恶的岳父
My fucking evil father-in-law.
说曹操曹操到
Speak of the devil.
爸你能来太好了
Dad! Glad you could make it.
看来你没法连任了
Looks like you won't.
怎么了没法让夏托基佬出柜[出来投票]吗
What, couldn't get the Chateaugays to come out?
你就不应该抛弃我孩子
You never should've forsaken me, my child.
那是退场的话小伙子们
That was an exit line, boys!
我们走快点
Let's go! Move it!
好吧
Okay.
罗杰不要让他影响你
Roger, don't let him get into your head.
别碰我
Don't touch me.
欢迎来到我家
Welcome to my home.
请进吧小可爱们
Won't you please come in, you little darlings.
你好
Hello.
小姐
Uh, sefiora,
帮佣专属冰箱里的东西你可以随便吃
feel free to help yourself to any food in the Help fridge,