黑色星期一

Black Monday S02E10

Part 5 July 14, 2020, 12:12 p.m.

If he confesses, he goes away for life.
但我们可以无罪逍遥
But we'd be free and clear.
-基斯 -你说得对
- Keith. - You're right.
-我们得阻止他 -见鬼现在是高峰期
- We gotta-we gotta stop him. - Damn it. It's rush hour.
我们要怎么才能穿过这拥挤的交通
How are we gonna cut through all this traffic?
用轮滑就可以
We can cut it with a blade.
-喂我轮滑呢 -你在机动车道上臭小子
- Hey! I'm skating here! - You're in the road, you piece of shit!
让开
Out of the way!
快开
Go!
你看什么我们走
What are you looking at? There we go.
该死
Shit!
别这么做
Don't do this.
哥们这玩意痒死了
Dude, this shit really itches.
妈的我的车怎么回事
Oh, shit, what the fuck happened to my car?
我的脸好像着火了一样
My face is burning!
这毛还一直往下掉
And the fucking hair is falling off my head!
你没有把漂白水洗掉吗
You didn't wash the bleach off?
我还要把漂白剂洗掉
I was supposed to wash the bleach off?
这是怎么回事
What's this all about?
这些"只为男性"染发剂是怎么回事
What's with all this Just For Men?
那是什么
What's that?
-那那那是什么 -什么
- What's-what's...what? - Uh...what?
基斯
Keith.
哥们
Buddy.
我找你来着呢
I was looking for you.
老天你还好吗
Jesus Christ, are you okay?
我更担心你
You're the one I'm worried about.
真假的因为你的胳膊
Seriously? Because your arms
看起来转了180度啊
are kinda all twisted up the wrong way.
布莱尔坑了我们
Blair fucked us.
他用纽威尔的人情
He used his favor from Newell
让州长任命他为下一任国会议员
to get the governor to appoint him to Congress.
如果你自首就三振出局了
If you confess, it'll be your third strike.
你就要坐穿牢底了
You'll never be free.
那到此为止了
This is it, then.
对该去科科莫了
Yeah, time to go to Kokomo.
真的
For real.
不到此为止了我得自首了
No, this is it. I gotta turn myself in.
为了道恩为了你
For Dawn, for you...
为了布莱尔和TBD集团的所有女士
...for Blair and all the ladies back at TBD.
这么久以来我一直在雨滴间奔跑
Too long I've just been running through the raindrops.
是时候让老蒙湿身了
Well, it's time old Mo got wet.
这话听起来有点色情
That went kinda sexual at the end,
不过我想你知道我的意思
but I think you know what I mean
其实这是句"酷帅小子"的台词
in a "Cool guy line" way.
当然我想阻止你但我真的动不了
Totally. I'd stop you, but I can't really move.
到我的时候了基斯
It's my time, Keith.
你真的应该去看看你的胳膊
And you should really get both of those arms checked out.
是啊我感觉不太好
Oh, yeah, I do not feel good.
你不应该感觉好你被车撞飞了
No, you shouldn't. You got hit by a car.
是啊巨痛
Yeah. Catastrophic pain.
还有老蒙
And, Mo...
你真是个塑料朋友
You're a shit friend.
-但你不值得这个结局 -谢了哥们
- But you don't deserve this. - Thanks, man.
跟我说实话吧医生
Level with me, Doctor.
真的有治疗方法吗
Is there a cure?
有但会很难
Yes, but it's gonna be hard.
你的同性恋程度很深
You have a very bad case of homosexuality.
是我见过最严重的
Worst I've ever seen.
真的吗
Really?
幸运的是我身怀绝技
Lucky for you, I practice a technique
是纽威尔·斯沃福德牧师本人亲自教授的
taught to me by Pastor Newell Swafford himself
在第一阶段我们找到
where, in phase one, we locate the trauma
使你失去男子气概的创伤
that separated you from your masculinity.
你能想起任何在你童年时经历的
Can you recall any traumatic event from your childhood
你可能压抑着的创伤吗
that you might have suppressed?
并不能
Not really.
我就是个普通的中西部小孩
I was a pretty average Midwestern teen
怀揣着对无伴奏合唱团的爱
with a love for competitive a cappella
还有一个下定决心要把这份爱毒打出我身体的老爸
and a dad determined to beat that love out of me.
我是说
I mean...
这算吗
...does that count as one?
他真的是在打你的时候
He really died of heart attack
犯心脏病死的
while beating you?
对
Yeah.
你能想到更糟的事吗
Can you think of anything worse?
不能
No.
我猜这就是你的创伤了
Uh, I guess now that we've located the trauma,
我们可以快速进入第二阶段
we can fast-track you to phase two,
就是用电击消除创伤
where we shock it out of you.
真的吗
Really?
-那有用吗 -有用
- Does that work? - Yes.
我们可以用电击消除任何你不想要的记忆
We can shock any inconvenient trauma from your memory
1100美元一小时
for $1,100 an hour.
钱不是问题
Well, money's no object.
我是克兰德尔探员
I am Agent Crandall.
我接手了之前探员的案件
I've taken over the former agent's caseload
因为她周遭发生了一些不幸的...
due to the unpleasantness surrounding her, um...
主要是她不幸
well, her.
我就被告知要尽快尽量鸟悄地
I have been tasked with putting this whole thing down
结了这个案子
as quickly and quietly as possible.
所以我来这了
Well, that's why I'm here.
我是毛里斯·蒙罗也就是罗兰·麦迪逊
I am Maurice Monroe, AKA Roland Madison,
我是来自首的
and, uh, I'm here to confess.
我是黑色星期一的幕后主谋
I was behind Black Monday.
所以你用黑盒设计了一种算法
So you architected an algorithm with black box,
用特洛伊木马病毒固件偷摸地
Trojan horse firmware that could backdoor
达到满字节波特率同时还
full kilobytes over baud while--
对对对我就是个书呆子
Yeah, bro, I'm a fucking nerd.
我每次走后门都戴着特洛伊木马头套
I always wear a Trojan when I go backdoor.
听着我是美国存储借贷银行这事的主谋
Look, I'm behind the Amerisavings thing.
我也是TBD集团庞氏骗局的主谋
I'm also behind the TBD Ponzi scheme thing
还有詹玛集团的破事
and the Jammer shit.
那些事都是我♥干♥的都是我
I'm behind all that shit. It was all me.
惩罚我吧
So punish me.
我这辈子犯了很多错
I made a lot of mistakes in my life.
抱歉抱歉
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
只是
I just, uh...
-你还在笑 -对我只是
- You're still laughing. - Oh, yeah, I just, um--
二十分钟前有人自首了黑色星期一的事
Twenty minutes ago, someone confessed to Black Monday,
他们说的故事远比你这更令人信服
and they had a far, far, far more credible story.
所以我猜你只能自己惩罚自己了
So I guess you will just have to punish yourself.
但我很感谢
But I do appreciate
你能过来一趟这样我就能亲自告诉你
you stopping by so that I can now inform you in person
你的豁免交易已经完成了
that the terms of your immunity deal have been fulfilled
你可以走了
and you are free to go,
我可以正式给这个烂摊子结案了
and I can officially flush this turd for good.
等等谁自首了
Wait a minute. Who-who confessed?
因为你犯下了恶毒的金融恐怖袭击
For this heinous act of financial terrorism,
我叛你终身监禁
I sentence you to life!
没关系我们可以上诉
It'll be okay. We can appeal.
瞧瞧你
Looking like that!
我觉得你自作自受造成的毛囊损伤
I think the permanent damage you've done to your follicles
已经够惩罚你的了
is punishment enough.
-恭喜韦恩 -下个案子
- Congratulations, Wayne. - Next case, please.
谢谢
Thanks.
给这猪头逃过一劫
Motherfucker got off easy.
呵男人
Ugh, men.
想不想一起讨论这个司法不公的判决
Care to commiserate about this miscarriage of justice
边喝酒边谈
over a drink?
我有未婚夫我以为你知道的