大嘴巴（2017）

Big Mouth S02E05

Part 4 Oct. 9, 2020, 11:01 a.m.

**Sing it*
*唱起来
**Groove is in the heart*
*默契自心
**Groove is in the heart*
*心有灵犀
**Groove is in the heart*
*内心愉悦
**Groove is in the heart*
*快活无限
I do. One, two
我愿意一二
I do.
我愿意
**Blow them all along*
*一直吹吧
Well, what are we gonna name him?
我们给他起什么名字呢
How about... Andrew?
安德鲁怎么样
Andrew.
安德鲁
Andrew!
安德鲁
Andrew!
安德鲁
Andrew!
安德鲁
Yeah, that works.
我觉得可以
Mom, I threw one of Dad's peach pits at an aggressive squirrel,
妈我用老爸的一个桃仁砸了一只恶松鼠
and I think he knows. I heard that!
我觉得他知道了我听到啦
Help me! Andrew!
救救我安德鲁
**I couldn't ask for another*
*我就别无所求了
Busted! Planned Parenthood does do abortions.
计划生育协会里真的会堕胎
Yeah, because women have the right to choose
对因为女人有权选择
what happens to their bodies.
发生在自己身体上的事情
Oh, shit. I'm gonna get some Twitter comments about this.
我靠我要上推特评论一下
They're gonna be mean and threatening, and weirdly personal.
他们会变得又刻薄又可怕人还怪怪的
You okay, Andrew?
你还好吗安德鲁
These things, they're just skits, right? Most of them are,
这些只是滑稽短剧吧大部分是
but that one seems like it really happened.
但那个像真的
It does, doesn't it? Haha!
真的发生了是吧哈哈
Andrew's older brother is an abortion.
安德鲁的哥哥流产了
Your brothers make you eat cum crackers.
你的兄弟们让你吃♥精♥液饼干
My mom says that's how I get my nutrients!
我妈说这就是我的营养来源
Sex is... so complicated.
性太复杂了
I know. And we haven't even talked about STDs.
我知道我们还没聊过性病呢
STDs? Oh, no! I think this one's gonna be scary.
性病不这个会很恐怖的
Be careful, black and white Andrew!
小心点黑白安德鲁
Andrew! Lola...
安德鲁洛拉
how do you know where I live?
你怎么知道我住哪的
I googled it, you chinless turd.
我谷歌♥了一下你个土包子
Because I needed to tell you that you gave me Blue Waffle.
我要告诉你是你让我染上了蓝阴病
Blue Waffle? What's that?
蓝阴病这是啥
Don't lie!
别装了
It's an STD that makes your vagenitals look like this.
这种性病能让阴♥道♥变成这样
Is that you?
那是你的吗
No, but it will be.
不但以后就是了
Right now, I'm just, like, super itchy.
现在我觉得超级痒
But we didn't even have sex.
但是我们都还没做过爱呢
Our tongues did, dummy. We Frenched!
我们的舌头做了笨蛋我们舌吻了
Oh God. We did.
天呐是啊
Wait, what happens when guys get Blue Waffle?
等等男生得了蓝阴病会怎样
Your dick busts open and it turns into a bumpy blue waffle,
你的鸡鸡会裂开变成带坑的蓝色阴♥部♥
and you can't even put ice cream on it 'cause it's too hot.
还不能把冰淇淋放上面因为它太烫了
It's hot? No duh, Andrew.
太烫了废话安德鲁
It's pulsing with, like, dick fever.
就像鸡鸡发烧了一样
You can't tell anybody about it,
你不能告诉任何人
'cause no one will ever speak to you or touch you ever again.
要不没人跟你说话或是碰你了
Lola, isn't there anything I can do?
洛拉就没有什么我能做的了吗
You might as well go to a Doubletree Hotel buffet
你不如去一次双树宾馆的自助餐
and stick your dick in a waffle maker,
把你的鸡鸡插♥进♥华夫饼机
'cause your life is over, you blue-dicked buffoon!
因为你完蛋了你这个有着蓝鸡鸡的小丑
Okay, symptoms. After contracting Blue Waffle,
症状感染了蓝阴病以后
your penis will swell until it sprouts?
你的鸡鸡会一直肿到发芽
Oh my God, Andrew. It's worse than I thought.
天呐安德鲁这比我想的还要糟
I know.
我知道
Andrew, what's happening?
安德鲁怎么回事
Help me. I don't know how!
帮帮我我不知道该怎么办啊
Andrew! What's all the screaming about?
安德鲁你叫什么
I'm fine.
我没事
Actually, I'm starting to feel better.
其实我感觉好一点了
What's going on with you, Andrew?
你怎么了安德鲁
Mom, Dad, I have Blue Waffle.
妈爸我得了蓝阴病
You weren't supposed to say anything!
你不该说出来的
Andrew, what have you done to us?
安德鲁你对我们做了什么
I'm never going to get this off the walls!
我要永远粘在这堵墙上了
This stops here.
结束吧
Run, sweetheart, run.
跑亲爱的跑啊
Maury! Shit!
莫里我靠
I need help. Anybody?
我需要帮助有人吗
I need help! Hey Andrew! Over here!
我需要帮助安德鲁这里
How about some hanky-panky?
来抱抱吧
Hubbahubba style. What?
棒极了什么
Let's climb all over each other while we listen to the Mets.
我们边听大都会边爬上彼此的身体吧
Missy, that sounds amazing,
米西听起来太棒了
but I can't!
但我不能这么做
What's wrong? Don't you want to canoodle?
怎么了你难道不想爱抚我的身体吗
Put your finger in my hoodle?
不想把手指插♥进♥我的小妹妹吗
Come on, you sexy doodle.
来吧你这性感的肉♥棒♥
Missy, no! Don't!
米西不别这样
Gah-waska! What's wrong with me?
天啊我怎么了
I'm so sorry, Missy. I just gave you Blue Waffle!
抱歉米西我把蓝阴病传染给你了
Is this supposed to be happening--
应该这样吗
Oh, fuck! Her fucking nose is in my hands!
操她的鼻子飞到我手上了
I shot your kid girlfriend
我爆了你小女友的头
because you're ruined my walls with your sex disease.
是因为你的性病糟蹋了我的墙
Nick! Let me in! Hey, buddy.
尼克快让我进去老兄
I'm so glad to see you.
见到你真是太开心了
You, too. You're my best friend, Andrew.
我也是你是我最好的朋友安德鲁
Come on in. Leah made us a Dorito cake.
进来吧利亚给我们做了多力多滋蛋糕
Hey, Andrew.
安德鲁
I've decided it's cool that you're a disgusting pervert.
我已经接受你是变♥态♥的事实了
Oh, that's a huge relief,
真是如释重负
'cause I just found out I have a pervert's disease.
因为我刚发现我得了变♥态♥的疾病
Blue Waffle? Yeah, you know it.
蓝阴病吗是的你懂的
That's fine. Just relax. Duke's hanging out, too.
没事的放松就好公爵也出来逛了
Get out. What?
出去什么
Get out!
出去
What happened?
发生了什么
Oh my God! Nick! Leah! Someone! Help!
天啊尼克利亚来个人帮帮我
We are helping, best friend.
我们正在帮你呀最好的朋友
Yeah, before you infect anyone else,
没错我们要在你传染给别人前
we're gonna chop your rotten dick off.
把你腐烂的屌♥剁了
That's what I was hoping you weren't gonna do!
别这样啊
Don't worry. I'll do it nice and slow.
别担心我会慢慢来的
What's the matter, Judd? Feeling a little blue?
怎么了贾德感觉有点蓝吗
Andrew, I was cool. Did you hear that?
安德鲁我真酷你听见了吗
Yes, it was funny. Come on, keep moving.
听到了很好笑快帮我解开
Andrew, your STD is killing everyone!
安德鲁你的性病要把所有人都害死了
Eat a dick, Nick!
吃我一屌♥ 尼克
Suck on my diarrhea, Leah!
吸我的稀屎吧利亚
Like, gross!
太恶心了
Maury, I owe you my life.
莫里我欠你一条命
How did you do that, by the way?
对了你是怎么做到的
How did you spray that much diarrhea?
你怎么能喷那么多稀屎出来
Maury!
莫里
What the--
什么鬼
"Planned Parenthood?"
"计划生育协会"
Yeah, are you crazy? That place is just for girls.
你疯了吗这地方只收女孩子
Everyone, listen! I have Blue Waffle.
所有人听着我得了蓝阴病
Can you please help me?
你能帮帮我吗
Honey, I'm sorry. I can't.
亲爱的抱歉我帮不了你
Is it because I didn't sign in?
是因为我没登记吗