大嘴巴（2017）
Big Mouth
第二季
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大嘴巴（2017）
Big Mouth S02E05
Part 3
Oct. 9, 2020, 11:01 a.m.
Coming up next, the finale of Spatula in Paradise.
接下来为您播出《天堂里的锅铲》大结局
You're both such amazing spatulas,
你们俩都是很棒的锅铲
so this is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make,
所以这是我经历过的最艰难的抉择之一
but I'm going to choose...
但我要选择...
the metal one. They're both metal.
金属锅铲 它们都是金属做的
The one I did pancakes with.
我用来做烙饼的那把
I never realized women had to make so many birth control choices.
我以前都不知道女性要做这么多避孕选择
Well, men need to take responsibility too, though.
但男性也要承担起责任
Beautifully said, Jesse.
说得很好 杰西
Dad, what are you doing here?
爸 你来做什么
Nickie, I knew you would've been so embarrassed
小尼 我知道如果我不来把要做结扎的决定
If I didn't come and tell your entire sex ed class
告诉你性启蒙课的同学们
about my decision to get a vasectomy. A vasectomy?
你会感到很尴尬的 结扎
Your mother and I are making a commitment to pleasure.
我和你妈准备全身心地投入到快♥感♥之中
What does that mean? Please don't ask him that.
那是什么意思 请别问他这个问题
Okay everybody, from now on,
大家听好 从现在开始
my erotic ministrations with Nickie's mother
我和小尼妈妈的性♥交♥仪式
will be purely an expression of lust and gratitude.
将是性♥欲♥和感激的纯粹表达
We're done here. No more babies.
到此为止吧 不再需要生小孩
Just knee buckling orgasms. Dad...
只有让人忍♥不住跪下的高♥潮♥ 爸
To say I'm eager to please is an understatement.
说我渴望快♥感♥不过是轻描淡写
Wow, Dr. Birch. You're a real partner
伯奇医生 你真是
in family planning with your wife.
你妻子计划生育的好搭档
Well, Mrs. Birch's birth control was robbing her
伯奇夫人的避孕措施正在夺走
of her natural moisture.
她的天然水份
What, are we talking about, your mom's N.M.?
我们在讨论什么 你♥妈♥的♥水吗
Jay... Natural Moisture.
杰伊 天然水份
Dad, get out of here and just go get your vasectomy already.
爸爸 离开这里去做你的输精管结扎术吧
Okay? You got it, Nickie, but
好吗 好的尼克 但是
you're coming on the journey with me. Oh dear Lord.
你会和我一起去 我的老天
It all started in Brooklyn, my hometown.
故事发生在布鲁克林 我的家乡
Land of the Dodgers, Coney Island,
道奇岛 科尼岛
and Nathan's Famous dogs.
以及内森热狗
These were dogs that had their own headshots.
这些狗都有自己的大头照
The year was 1955.
那是1955年
Hold on. 1955?
等会 1955年
No. You weren't even born yet, dad.
那时候你还没出生呢 爸爸
Not to mention, Nathan sells hot dogs.
更别提内森卖♥♥热狗
They were hot, Nickie. Red hot.
他们很热 尼克 很红的那种热
The biggest stars in the country. So the dogs were movie stars.
全国最红的巨星 所以"狗"是指电影明星
It's my vasectomy.
这是我的输精管结扎术
I'll tell the story how I want.
我想怎么说就怎么说
The first year of my residency,
那是我第一年实习
I was working nights at a 1950s themed diner,
我晚上在一家五十年代主题餐厅工作
which back then was just a diner,
那时候只是一家餐厅
when in walked the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen:
这时候走进来一位 我见过的最漂亮的姑娘
your mother.
你的妈妈
Hi, I'm Diane Keaton. That's not mom's maiden name.
我是黛安·基顿 这不是妈妈的婚前姓
I'm an independent woman who's sexually liberated.
我是一名性开放的 独♥立♥的女人
That's why I'm wearing pants.
这就是我穿裤子的原因
She was a woman who knew what she wanted.
她是一个知道自己想要什么的女人
Pants, and also your old man,
裤子 和你的老爸我
who was a young man then in 1955.
1955年还很年轻
I was smitten, Nickie. And one night, your mother called me over
我神魂颠倒 小尼 有晚你妈给我打电♥话♥
because a lobster was attacking her.
因为一直龙虾正在攻击她
I came as soon as my analyst told me you called.
我的分♥析♥师一告诉我你打电♥话♥来 我就来了
I'm sorry, is that a Woody Allen thing?
这不是伍迪·艾伦的故事吗
I've never seen any of his movies,
我从没看过他的电影
'cause mom says he's a monster.
因为妈妈说他是个魔鬼
And I saved your mother
我给了那个龙虾一个网球拍
by giving the lobster a tennis racket.
救下了你妈妈
Okay, I'm gonna stop you.
我必须打断一下
I thought this was the story of your vasectomy.
我以为这个故事是有关你结扎手术的故事
It's about our family. Anyway...
是关于我们家的故事 总之
Elliot, we've done oral to each other a number of times,
埃利奥特 我们已经打了无数次嘴炮了
but now I want to have sex with you.
我现在想和你性♥交♥
You mean, make love.
你是指 做♥爱♥吗
Sure.
是的
So what is this, the night that you guys conceived Judd?
所以这就是你们拥有贾德的那个晚上吗
Not that night, Nickie, because it was during the day.
不是那晚 尼克 因为那是个白天
Your mother rolled a condom on slowly.
你妈妈轻轻地给我戴上避孕套
My penis was as hard as it is for me
我的鸡♥巴♥硬的 就像我看着你们
to watch you kids grow up so fast.
茁壮成长 身体硬朗这么硬
Dad, this is unforgivable.
爸爸 这不可原谅
Flash forward to the 1970s.
我们快进到70年代
The year was 1955.
那是1955年
Your mother and I, now married, were ready to start a family.
你妈妈和我已经结婚了 准备组建个家庭了
Diane, I long to be with child.
黛安 我很想要孩子
Well, then you can't use those condoms that you love.
那我们做♥爱♥的时候就不能戴套了
Now that was the night we conceived Judd.
我们在那晚怀上了贾德
Dad, are you on a bunch of painkillers for your surgery?
爸爸 你做手术吃止疼药了吗
I am. It's the Randy Quaid cocktail.
吃了 兰迪·奎德的鸡尾酒
A few years later, flash forward to 1955.
几年后 快进到1955年
It was the 80s, and greet was good.
那是80年代 生活是极好的
Look, I'm the movie Baby Boom.
我就是电影《婴儿潮》
I've got career on the brain, but also these three kids.
我的职业生涯就在脑中 还有这三个孩子
So now I'm on the pill.
所以现在我在服用避孕药
Folks, what's the deal with baths?
伙计们 洗澡的意义是什么
Why do I never wanna take one?
为什么我从来不想洗
But then once I'm out, and I come down in my pajammies,
但我拉屎 会拉在睡衣裤上
I'm so happy.
我可高兴了
Anyway, that's my time. You've been a great family.
总之到时间了 你们是个很棒的家庭
Good night.
晚安
Our family was complete,
我们的家庭完整了
and now it's my turn to take over our reproductive destiny,
现在轮到我来接管我们的生育使命了
by getting a vasectomy.
做输精管结扎术
Nickie, my final child, hold my soft moist hand
尼克 我的小儿子 握住我柔软湿润的手
while this crustacean slices open my scrotum.
这个甲壳类动物正在切开我的阴囊
I love you, Nikki I love you too, dad.
我爱你 小尼 我也爱你 爸爸
Barbara, did you touch my box of peach pits?
芭芭拉 你是不是碰我的桃核盒了
I'm looking for the one I was sucking on the toilet last week.
我在找我上周蹲厕所时候吸的那个
It's not here.
不在这里面
You're asking me if I took your toilet pit?
你问我拿没拿你拉屎时候的桃核吗
Yeah, I like to suck the fiber out of the ridges.
是的 我喜欢把纤维从脊上吸出来
This one was perfect. It was a sucker's dream.
那个是完美的 是吮吸者的梦想
No, Marty. I did not.
没有 马蒂 我没拿
Fine. Andrew! Did you lay your grubby hands on my pits?
好吧 安德鲁 你是不是碰我的桃核了
You're listening to the radio,
你正在听广播
which means you're either in a rental car
意味着你要么在一辆租来的车里
or the community room in nursing home.
要么在养老院的公共活动室
Up next, another song we've chosen for you.
即将带来我们为你精心挑选的一首歌♥
Deee-Lite's 1990 classic,
欢娱合唱团就是年代的经典
**Dig*
*摇摆
**The chills that you spill up my back*
*你让我的脊背感到兴奋
**Keep me filled with satisfaction When we're done*
*在我们跳完后让我满心欢喜
**Satisfaction of what's to come*
*迎来一次次满足
**No, I couldn't ask for another*
*不 我别无他求
**Groove is in the heart*
*默契由心生
**Groove is in the heart*
*灵犀一点通
**Groove is in the heart*
*愉悦在我心
**Astronomical*
*快活要升♥天♥
*-*Watch out* -*The depth of hula groove*
*注意了* *呼啦动作的深度
**Move us to the nth hoop*
*让我们来到第N圈处
**We're going through to Horten hears a who*
*我们就要穿越到霍滕 听到谁了
**I couldn't ask for another*
*我就别无所求了
**I couldn't ask for another*
*我就别无所求了
**DJ Soul was on a roll*
*DJ苏尔在打碟
**I been told he can't be sold*
*有人说他没销路
**Not vicious or malicious Just de-lovely and delicious*
*没有恶意 只是这太酸爽
**I couldn't ask for another*
*我都别无所求了
大嘴巴（2017）
Big Mouth
剧集 | 大嘴巴（2017） | 导航列表