大嘴巴（2017）

Big Mouth S02E09

Part 2 Oct. 9, 2020, 11:02 a.m.

'cause the condo's in my name!
因为公♥寓♥是我的名字
Jay.
杰伊
Matthew. Nice pajamas.
马修睡衣不错啊
Nice jean shorts.
你的牛仔短裤也不错
Joke's on you, idiot. These are my underwear.
被耍了吧这是我内♥裤♥
Jean shorts as underwear,
他拿牛仔短裤当内♥裤♥
and he didn't wash his hands.
还没洗手
Oh, and he didn't flush, and he's reading a magazine called...
还不冲水他读一本杂♥志♥叫
Jean Shorts Weekly? Oh, an interview with Andre Agassi.
《牛仔短裤周刊》安德烈·阿加西的访谈
Yes, please.
棒啊
Like. I have nothing to say to you.
嗯我跟你没什么可说的
But, we're like a seam. No, we're not.
但我们是闺蜜啊不是
Oh my God, are you joking me right now?
天啊你开什么玩笑
We both have the best boobs in the grade, it's so obvious, right?
我们俩的胸部全年级最棒了非常明显吧
And we were both like, wronged by Nick and Andrew.
而且我们都被尼克和安德鲁欺负了
I guess we did both kind of get used.
咱俩都被利用了吧
We're like total victim sisters in actuality.
我们就像现实中的受害闺蜜
I don't like to see myself as a victim.
我不喜欢把自己当成受害者
Okay, so we'll just be sisters.
那就当闺蜜吧
If mom dies, I get her Bon Jovi earrings.
如果妈妈死了我要她的邦乔维乐队耳环
All right, I see.
好吧
So that one must be Jay.
所以那个肯定是杰伊
And why does Miss B have X's for eyes?
为什么B小姐的眼睛是X
She's asleep, 'cause I walloped her in the head with a telescope.
她在睡觉因为我用望远镜打了她
That was a wiffle ball bat. All right.
那是威浮球球棒好吧
And I understand why I'm a lizard.
我明白我为什么是蜥蜴了
But why are you drawn so big?
但你干嘛把自己画这么大
'Cause that's how I feel when I'm with all my best friends.
因为我跟最好的朋友在一起感觉就这样
None of these people are your friends.
这些人都不是你朋友
How come they're in the photo? Because you drew them!
那他们为什么会在画里因为是你画的
Because they're my best friends. You know,
因为他们是我最好的朋友那个
I'm positive there's a treasure trove of shame
你身上肯定藏着
somewhere deep inside you,
一大堆耻辱的宝藏
if I could just drill down through all the layers of stupidity.
如果我能钻过你层层愚蠢
No drills! When I go to the dentist,
别啊上次我去看牙医
I have to be completely knocked out.
都得全麻呢
'Cause I've been known to bite fingies.
不然我就会咬手指
I'm shocked that you've been to the dentist.
你居然看过牙医
Uh, technically it's a groomer in the back of a Petco.
其实是派特克宠物店后面的美容师
You truly are an enigma.
你真是个谜团
You shouldn't say that word anymore.
这个词不能说了
This things totally blows. Gina broke up with me.
太糟了吉娜跟我分手了
I'm not sure you two were really dating per se--
你俩不算约会过吧
Thanks for clarifying that. Go ahead.
谢谢你澄清继续
The point is, we're in a gym with girls,
关键是体育馆里都是妹子
and they're wearing pajamas,
还穿着睡衣
and underneath their pajamas is their bodies,
里面就是肉体
and we're wasting this opportunity.
我们在浪费机会啊
I don't know, maybe we should just sit here
也许我们应该坐在这
and not chew on our genitals.
不咬我们鸡鸡
Who's suggesting that we chew on our genitals?
谁说我们要咬鸡鸡了
Nobody. What are you wearing, man?
没人你戴的事什么
You look like a lamp. It's a special necklace
像盏灯似的这是特殊的项链
to help me be a good boy.
帮我成为好人
I just wanna hook up with a girl.
我只想和女孩亲热
You can't just hook up with a girl.
你不能随便找个女的亲热
First, you gotta be nervous for like a year and then--
首先你得紧张一年然后
We should be playing one of those games, you know,
我们应该玩那种游戏
where kids trick each other into hooking up...
孩子们最后就亲热上的那种
Like Spin the Bottle.
比如转瓶子
Or Shoots and Splatters.
或者射撸
What about Truth or Dare?
真心话大冒险呢
I just shared something really embarrassing with Missy
我和米西说了件很尴尬的事
and it felt great. I don't wanna play truth or dare.
感觉很棒我不想玩真心话大冒险
What if someone dares me to like get naked or streak or something?
万一有人让我脱♥光♥或者随地小便呢
'Cause you have a sexy little dicky and it's just for you.
因为你有独特的性感小鸡鸡
How about Smooch or Share? What the hell is Smooch or Share?
不分享剧亲亲呢这是什么
A fantastic game I just made up.
我刚编的
The rules of Smooch or Share are very simple.
规则很简单
When it's your turn, you choose Smooch or Share
轮到你可以选亲亲或分享
and then you spin the bottle.
然后转瓶子
Nick, did you just invent this game to kiss girls?
尼克你发明这个游戏就是为了亲妹子吧
Yeah, I have to assume that's why you invited the Jansen twins.
嗯所以你邀请了詹森双胞胎吧
Would anybody like a piece of salty licorice?
有人想要咸甘草糖吗
Look, guys, I invited the Jansen twins
我请詹森双胞胎
because they're new to the school,
是因为她们是新生
and yeah, they come from a more sexually progressive culture.
而且她们那对性更激进
In the Netherlands, we play this game, but with Gouda.
在荷兰我们也玩但用高德奶酪
So you spin a wheel of cheese?
你们转奶酪吗
How do you know who it lands on?
那怎么知道对着谁呢
Well, we don't, so everybody gets a kiss
没办法啊所以大家都要亲
and a slice of cheese, and this is what we call Kindergarten.
然后吃一片奶酪幼儿园都这样
Okay. Now I'm interested.
好吧我有兴趣了
Look, guys. This game is about getting crazy, y'all.
这游戏就是为了疯一下的
Crazy, y'all. Yes, yes, y'all. I should have jumped on that.
疯起来吧我早就该加入的
I'll play if Andrew's playing. Oh, enchanté.
安德鲁玩我就玩是我的荣幸
I'm in. I'm open to it. Yeah, let's do this.
我加入我也加入开始吧
Okay, folks. It's time to Smooch or Share,
好不分享就亲亲开始咯
or Shake Your Booty.
或者扭屁屁
What's this third option? Nothing.
怎么还有第三个选项没什么
I choose smooch. Gouda, gouda! Gouda, gouda! Yes, no!
我选亲亲奶酪好诶不
No. No! Me, me! Yes, yes.
不不我我对对
No! Not Missy!
不不要米西
We wanted one of those Chinese girls.
我想亲的是那俩中国妹子
You think those girls are Chinese?
你以为她们是中国的
Oh God, I'm sorry, are they Korean?
天啊抱歉是韩国的吗
Oh, Missy.
米西
Is that okay? Well, I
可以吗我
Don't look at him, it's the rules!
别看他这就是规则
And if you don't do it, we get to burn you with teacher coffee.
如果你不干我就用教师的咖啡烫你
Well, it is the rules.
规则就是规则
Okay. I consent.
好我愿意
Wonderful, that was very appropriate.
太好了非常靠谱
You are a gentleman, sir.
你真是个绅士
I choose share.
我选择分享
Hey, guys, I just want to say I'm having a blast
哥们我想说我玩得很开心
and I also wanna make a mental note
提醒一下
to recycle this bottle once we're finished.
等游戏结束后瓶子要循环利用
When this sharpie dries out,
记号♥笔干了
we should flush a bunch of golf balls down the toilet.
我们应该把一堆高尔夫球冲进厕所
No.
不
What's that picture? I was the captain of the debate team.
那照片是什么我是辩论队的队长
What you doing with your face?
你什么表情
I'm smiling. Oh, yeah.
我在微笑嗯
I miss that. I smiled a lot more before you showed up.
好怀念啊你出现前我微笑得多多了
Well, I'm so sorry.
抱歉
I guess you don't want the present I got for you now.
你不要我给你准备的礼物了
What is it? It's a bucket of used golf balls, duh.
是什么一筐二手高尔夫球啊
Honestly, when Nick and I hooked up, it was fun.
说实话尼克和我亲热时还挺有趣的
But then it just made me feel like, so shitty.
但之后就感觉很糟
Touching boobs and rubbing fronts
不是因为摸♥胸♥和互蹭
doesn't make you feel all shitty.
让你感觉不好
Mean jerks make you feel shitty,
是那些刻薄的混♥蛋♥
if there weren't any mean jerks, it'd be fine.
如果没有刻薄的混♥蛋♥就没事了
You know what? That's kind of a good point.
你说得对啊
We should just like feed all the mean jerks into a wood chipper
我们应该把刻薄的混♥蛋♥都扔进碎木机里
and then spread their body chunks all over the playground
让他们的残骸洒满操场
so kids don't get hurt because like,
这样孩子们就不会受伤了
ultimately we're like very good samaritans.
我们这算见义勇为啊
Let's just cut off right before that last part.
最后那部分还是算了