大嘴巴（2017）
Big Mouth
第二季
剧集 | 大嘴巴（2017） | 导航列表
大嘴巴（2017）
Big Mouth S02E05
Part 2
Oct. 9, 2020, 11:01 a.m.
Andrew, I'm sorry that you're a shit flinger.
安德鲁 很抱歉你得扔屎
And I'm sorry that all your shows got canceled.
我很抱歉你所有的节目都被砍了
Touche. Perhaps we're more alike than we care to admit.
说得好 也许我们比想象中更相似
Andrew, would you be willing to dance the merengue with me
安德鲁 你愿意和我一起跳舞吗
while we both make searing eye contact with Missy?
然后咱俩都和米西眉目传情
Si, Senor. A thousand times si.
好啊 先生 非常同意
You said it, baby.
你说出来了 宝贝
Okay, fine.
好吧
Maybe Planned Parenthood does a couple cancer screenings.
也许计划生育协会来两次癌筛选
But it's mostly abortions. Common misconception, Jay.
但大部分是堕胎 常见的误解 杰伊
Abortions make up only a tiny percentage of what they do.
堕胎只占一小部分
Yeah, they also do breast exams.
是的 他们也做乳♥房♥♥检查
Which I've already offered to do for free
我已经提出免费给
for all the girls in the class.
班上所有的女生检查了
In fact, I'll pay you in Bitcoin.
其实我愿意付比特币给你们
Kid's a financial genius.
这孩子是个金融天才
Why aren't you offering girls money to touch their tits?
你怎么不付女生钱来摸♥奶♥子
Because it's prostitution.
因为这是卖♥♥淫
Not if you do it so good, she falls in love with you.
如果你做得好 她就会爱上你
You know that's possible, right?
你知道这是可能的 对吧
Also, Planned Parenthood offers birth control
此外 计划生育协会给上百万人
to literally millions of people.
提供节育
Bird control? What?
鸟育 什么
Good luck.
祝你好运
Everybody says that pigeons are the rats of the sky,
每个人都说鸽子是空中老鼠
but let me tell you something,
但我告诉你
they're the Einsteins of the diaper barge where I live.
它们在我住的尿布船上就是爱因斯坦
I think the person who had sex with you
和你做♥爱♥的那个人
may have committed a crime.
可能犯了罪
Yeah. Steve, we're talking about contraception.
是的 史蒂夫 我们在谈论避孕
Again, if you had some sort of skit that referenced a TV show,
再说一遍 如果你的笑点引用电视节目
I might have a shot at understanding.
我可能会理解
Okay, you broken Roomba.
你把伦巴毁了
I wish I had wheels, running into walls and what-not.
我希望我有轮子然后撞到墙上
Babies... they're like tuna melts.
婴儿就像金枪鱼三明治
They sound good, but do you really want one right now?
听起来不错 但你真的想要吗
I don't want a baby or a tuna melt.
我不想要婴儿或金枪鱼三明治
The tuna's all hot,
金枪鱼都热了
and a baby's, like, a lot of responsibility.
养孩子责任太大了
That's why tonight, we're going to help Leah find...
所以今晚我们要帮助利亚找到
the perfect contraception.
完美的避孕方法
Leah, let's meet your choices, girl.
利亚 让我们来满足你的选择吧 女孩
I'm so excited.
我太兴奋了
Okay, easy, Anne Hathaway. Calm down.
淡定 安妮·海瑟薇 冷静
Hi, Leah.
利亚
What's up.
你好啊
Nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你
Did we just hug? I couldn't feel anything.
我们拥抱了吗 我什么也感觉不到
Yeah, we definitely hugged.
是的 我们肯定拥抱了
Just kidding. I felt it a tiny bit. It was okay.
开玩笑的 我感觉到了一点 挺好
I think I am. No,
应该是的 不
you have to make a commitment to me every day.
你必须每天对我作出承诺
What if I forget? Then every day for the rest of your life,
如果我忘了呢 那你下辈子
you're going to have a tuna melt.
都有金枪鱼三明治了
Hey, girl, I'm surgically implanted
女孩 我通过手术植入
in your arm for up to three years.
你手臂三年了
With me, you just set it and forget it,
你只要弄好就可以忘了我
and let the dude just slam it home.
让男人操得你爽翻天就行了
Slam it home? Is that what sex is like?
爽翻天 这就是做♥爱♥的感觉吗
Through college at least.
至少在大学是这样的
We both know you're not going to pick me.
我们俩都知道你是不会选我的
I'm just here for the buffet. Okay.
我只是为了来吃自助餐的 好吧
Your mother and I were really good friends.
我和你妈曾经亲密无间哦
I'm an IUD.
我是宫内节育器
I'm incredibly effective, but it's going to hurt going in.
我非常有效 但把我放进去时会有些疼
But perhaps you like a little pain. Your lips are freezing.
但也许你就喜欢来点疼痛 你嘴唇好冷
Hey, what's up?
你好啊
I'm the PullOut Method. Hi.
我是体外射♥精♥避孕法 你好
Were we about to kiss, babe?
要和我亲亲吗 宝贝
Um, excuse me, his hand is on my boob.
抱歉 他在摸我的胸
Hey, get off of her! Go to the mansion and get some wine.
放开她 去公♥馆♥里喝点酒
Don't threaten me with a good time.
别用美好时光来威胁我
The cocktail party was a really great way
这次鸡尾酒会真是太棒了
to get to know my options a little better
让我能够边吃着椰子虾
while eating coconut shrimp.
边更好地了解自己的避孕选择
Honey, can you get me a doggy bag for the mango salsa?
亲爱的 能给我拿个打包袋装芒果辣酱吗
Seven of them are sugar pills,
这里有七个是糖片
but I would take them just to keep track.
但我还是会吃来记日子
Sounds complicated.
听起来好复杂
Wait, so do I get my period during those days?
等等 那我在这期间会来月经吗
Yeah, I mean it's kind of a bummer, but--
会的 这有些令人不爽 但是...
I'm sorry, can I just steal you for a sec?
抱歉 我能和你谈一会儿吗
Let me just...
等我一下
I hate talking shit,
我不喜欢背后说别人坏话
but none of these other choices prevent STDs.
但别的避孕选择都没法预防性病
Babe, babe, baby...
宝贝 宝贝 宝贝
I just want to be close to you with nothing in between us.
我只想和你有肌肤相亲
Is that so wrong? I guess not?
这有什么错吗 应该没有吧
Also, with these other methods,
而且 用别的避孕措施的话
you don't get that sweet belly blam.
你可感受不到被射在小腹上的爽快哦
Well, Leah, it's time.
利亚 该宣布你的选择了
This is the hardest choice I have ever had to make.
这是我经历过的最艰难的抉择
You are all so special, but I have to go with my heart and pick...
你们都很特别 但我必须遵从本心 选择
The Pull-Out Method!
体外射♥精♥避孕法
Yes!
太棒了
I cannot wait to come inside you.
我已经迫不及待要插入你体内了
Oh, man. Don't trust him.
天啊 别相信他
Oh yeah.
真舒服
There it is, ladies and gentlemen.
快看呀 女士们先生们
Another teenager making a terrible life choice.
又一位青少年做出了糟糕的人生抉择
Cut! Nope. Turn the lights on.
停 不 把灯打开
You are not picking the Pull Out Method.
你不能选体外射♥精♥避孕法
Mom, we love each other!
妈 我们彼此相爱
Your mom is hot. I know this guy.
你妈真性感 我认识这家伙
He gave me chlamydia.
他传染了衣原体病给我
You are beautiful.
你真漂亮
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
别人说你丑都别信
You're going on the pill, and you're using condoms.
你得吃避孕药 还要用避孕套
Yes. Come to me, baby.
太好了 投入我的怀抱吧 宝贝
And that is final. Double up.
这是最终决定 双重保险哦
Diane, is that you?
黛安 是你吗
I haven't seen you since senior prom.
高中毕业舞会后我就再也没见过你了
Yeah. Michael Villareal? Hello.
是啊 迈克尔·维拉利亚 天啊
He was a catch. How are you doing?
他可真迷人 你过得好吗
I'm dying, Diane.
我要死了 黛安
Bone cancer. Sorry to hear that. Leah, let's go.
骨癌 我很遗憾 利亚 我们走
It spread to my feet.
扩散到我脚上了
Honestly, it's just at this point...
老实说 到这个份上
and it's hard enough to be open in today's world,
在当今社会 要保持坦率已经很难了
and I offered to be fully implanted,
我提供完全的植入
and I think that is a rare find to just meet at contraceptive,
我认为这在刚才的避孕措施里是很少见的了
that's like, "I will implant today
今天把我植入你体内
and I can guarantee you
我就能向你保证
that I'll be there for you for three years,"
我会陪伴你三年的时间
but obviously if that's not enough,
但很明显如果这还不够的话
maybe she's not the person that I should be protecting.
也许她不是我该保护的人
Like maybe I should be protecting myself,
也许我该保护自己
'cause obviously I'm hurt now.
因为很明显现在受伤的是我
Like maybe I should just put a fucking condom over my own self.
也许我该给自己套个避孕套
Well, in the end, I think she made a wise choice.
最终 我认为她做出了明智的选择
大嘴巴（2017）
Big Mouth
剧集 | 大嘴巴（2017） | 导航列表