美式主妇

American Housewife S03E16

Part 1 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:58 p.m.

我为什么被格雷格拖来这么愚蠢的
Why do I let Greg drag me to these stupid
西港历史协会活动
Westport Historical Guild things?
自高中模拟联♥合♥国♥会议后
I haven't seen this many dorks
我就没见过这么多的呆子
since my high school's Model UN conference.
这次大家很幸运我没有带人
Everyone's lucky I'm not busting in with my posse
带着水气球冲进现场
and water balloons full of pudding this time.
做成年人太差劲了
Being an adult blows.
我最喜欢的康州登记的古迹
My favorite historic site on the Connecticut registry
绝对是沃克府
is definitely the Walker House,
建造者是埃比尼泽·杜利少校
built by Major Ebenezer Dooley --
埃比尼泽·杜利上尉
Captain Ebenezer Dooley.
房♥子是1795年建造的
The house was built in 1795.
埃比尼泽当时还没升职
Ebenezer was yet to be promoted.
厉害
Nice catch.
是啊埃比尼泽·杜利
Ah, yes, Ebenezer Dooley.
记得他惊人的功绩就是提前离开派对
Remembered for his amazing legacy of leaving parties early.
让我们离开这里向他致敬
Let's honor him by getting the hell out of here.
等等凯蒂我想你认识一下戴恩
Wait, Katie, I want you to meet Dane.
他是我们协会的新成员
He's one of our Guild's new members.
很高兴见到你凯蒂
Nice to meet you, Katie.
你也是历史爱好者吗
Are you a history buff as well?
最爱好的
The buffest.
格雷格你说聚会从7点到9点
Greg, you said this mixer was from 7:00 to 9:00.
现在9点3分趁还没发脾气快走
It's 9:03, better shut this down before tempers start to flare.
谁会发脾气
Whose temper's gonna flare?
笨蛋你看什么
Hey, numbnuts, what you looking at?
好我们走吧
Okay. We should go.
我也应该走了
I should head out as well.
我需要调整我的烟草贮藏室
I need to adjust my humidor.
你喜欢雪茄
Oh, you're into cigars?
天啊不是
Oh, God, no.
我的烟草贮藏室里全是来自独♥立♥战争时期的
My humidor is filled with historical pantaloons
历史性男装马裤
from the Revolutionary War.
-得保持它们潮湿 -没错
- Gotta keep 'em damp. - Oh, that's true.
戴恩你老婆也喜欢男式马裤吗
Dane, is your wife into pantaloons as well?
我没结婚
Oh, I'm not married.
我知道
I know.
很高兴见到你凯蒂
Nice to meet you, Katie.
格雷格明晚的事再通知我
And, Greg, let me know about tomorrow night.
明晚
Tomorrow night?
又有聚会吗
There's not another mixer, right?
不他想一起玩
No, he wants to hang out.
他想和你一起玩
He wants to hang out with you?
不嫌弃你的发型
Even with that haircut?
听起来应该很好玩
It actually sounds like a fun night,
但邀请我一起玩
but inviting me over to hang out?
-谁会这样做 -成年人想交朋友时
- Who does that? - That's what adults do
就会这样做
when they want to make friends.
我不需要朋友我有你
I don't need friends, I have you.
没错但这让我很有压力
True, but it puts a lot of pressure on me
做你的一切老婆朋友
to be your everything -- Your wife, your friend,
你当爹我当妈你这样给手肘
your co-parent, your person who looks away
擦乳液时我会转头
when you put lotion on your elbows like this.
我想我应该给戴恩一次机会
I guess I could give Dane a shot.
没有你参加这些活动也挺好
It'd be nice to come to one of these things
每次有人提起历史
and not have you yell "BO-RING"
你就会大喊无聊
every time someone brings up history.
我不是每次都这样
I don't do that every time.
有时候我会假装听力有问题
Sometimes I pretend that I'm hard of hearing.
我一直想和你谈谈这个
Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
美式主妇第三季第十六集
看这个库珀在游艇上
Look at this. Cooper, on a yacht.
他说他不能和我一起玩
He said he couldn't hang out with me
因为周末他得和他父母在一起
because he was gonna be with his parents all weekend.
库珀的父母在西港吗
Cooper's parents were actually in town?
他是这样说的
That's what he said.
但看这个
But look at this...
我看了脸书
I went to Facebook...
老人的网络
Old people Internet.
他的父母发了照片
...and his parents posted a picture of them
是在不同大海上的不同游艇上
on a different yacht in a totally different ocean.
他不想邀请我参加他的游艇派对所以他说谎了
He just didn't want to invite me to his yacht party, so he lied.
这只是时间问题
It was only a matter of time
库珀迟早厌倦穷朋友占他便宜
before Cooper got tired of his poor friend mooching off of him.
你真这样想
You really think that's true?
我和金发美女圈就是这样
That's what happened with me and the Blondetourage.
她们一发现
As soon as they realized
我不是和她们一样的特权公主
I wasn't a privileged princess like them,
她们就把我像热番茄一样扔了
they dropped me like a hot tomato.
是把你像热土豆一样扔了
It's, "Drop you like a hot potato."
不是的
No, it's not.
为什么会扔掉热土豆
Why would you ever drop a hot potato?
热土豆就是薯条
Hot potatoes are French fries.
-很好吃 -我的天
- They're delicious. Oh, my God.
你为什么不直接找库珀问照片的事呢
Why don't you just ask Cooper about the picture?
在高中不能这样处理问题
That's not how you handle things in high school.
你要像库珀伤害你一样伤害他
You need to hurt Cooper like he hurt you.
你要在照片墙上报复
You need to get Insta-revenge.
对听笨蛋的意见
Good call. Take the dumb one's advice.
我说的不是你
I wasn't talking about you.
好吧
Oh, okay.
回见
Okay, I'll see you later.
在戴恩家玩得开心
Have fun at Dane's!
没有格雷格的夜晚
Ahh, a night without Greg.
我想做什么就做什么
I'm going to do whatever I want.
第一就是给安娜凯特找保姆
The first thing is getting a babysitter for Anna-Kat.
下一步洗碗机装一半就洗
Next I'm going to run a half-full dishwasher.
格雷格说这样浪费水废话真多
Greg says it's a waste of water, blah blah.
我还要尽量多看《速度与激♥情♥》电影
And I'm going to watch as many "Fast and Furious" Movies
我不想听格雷格总是抱怨
as I want without Greg always complaining
没人系安全带
about how no one wears seatbelts.
亲爱的
Hey, honey!
和戴恩怎么样
How did it go with Dane?
我们玩得非常开心
Ah, we had so much fun.
他有缩微胶片阅读机
He has an Eyecom 6000 microfiche reader.
我们看了几小时20年代的
We looked at local proposed amendments
本地修正案提议
from the 1920s for hours. ?
有时候市议会会在同一会议上处理
Sometimes the city council would tackle public schools
公立学校和分区问题
and zoning in the same meeting.
20年代真是厉害
Roaring '20s, indeed.
听起来
That sounds...
的确
It was wow.
我想我有新朋友了
I think I have a new friend.
-太棒了亲爱的 -我知道
- That's great, sweetheart. ?- I know.
协会的"和1799年一样狂欢"的舞会快到了
So the Guild's "Party Like It's 1799" Shindig is coming up,
你必须能戴上帽子
and you have to be fitted for your bonnet.
不如你不带我和你的新朋友戴恩一起去
Hey, why don't you go with your new pal Dane instead of me?
好应该可以
Sure. That would work.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我说错话了这是测试吗
Did I say the wrong thing? Was that a test?
不我只是太高兴我不用去
No, it's just that I am so happy that I don't have to go.
都准备好了
This is all ready.
如果我没回家那么就要有人
If I am not home, then somebody needs to put it
在5点放进烤箱
in the oven at 5:00.
你什么时候这么爱妈妈
Since when do you like mom so much?
搞什么奥利弗
Yeah, what the hell, Oliver?
我跟你说过了我没立遗嘱
I told you -- I don't have a will.
他发照片到社交媒体上
He's taking pictures to post on social media
报复库珀放他鸽子
to get back at Cooper for blowing him off.
对什么是库珀最想要的
Yeah. What's the one thing Cooper wants most
却无法拥有的