美式主妇

American Housewife S03E04

Part 3 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:57 p.m.

Yeah. We're gonna have to make some stuff up.
胆小鬼重感情女士说得对
Wussy McFeelings is right.
再说一个字
One more word.
再说一个字我们就练练
Say one more word, and we're gonna go.
我可以打赢她对吧
Yeah. I can take her, right?
她会把你当吸吸乐一样
She'd squeeze your insides out
捏得瘪瘪的
like you were a Go-GURT.
上衣不错
Love that shirt.
加上甜美的理解
♪ With sweet understanding ♪
甜美的理解
♪ Sweet understanding ♪
加上甜美的理解
♪ With sweet understanding ♪
甜美的理解
♪ Sweet understanding ♪
甜美的理解
♪ Sweet understanding ♪
西摩是你需要的人
♪ Seymour's your man ♪
两位你们在做什么
Hey, guys. Whatcha doin'?
我们在排练爸
Uh, we're rehearsing, Dad.
之后我们会做些演技练习
And afterwards, we're gonna do a couple acting exercises,
比如拉伸和分享
like a stretch and share.
拉伸的时候
You stretch
分享一些私事
and you share something intimate about yourself.
经常有人把我比作年轻的保罗·纽曼
I'm often compared to a young Paul Newman,
我总是说谢谢但我不知道那是谁
and I always say "Thank you," But I have no idea who that is.
酷
Cool.
泰勒你那帅气
Hey, Taylor, where's your gorgeous,
身材好的男友特里普在哪里
well-bodied boyfriend, Trip?
他今晚会来
He's coming over tonight.
很好等不及见到他喜欢那孩子
Great. Can't wait to see him. Love that kid.
好爸回见
Okay, Dad, see ya later.
我做个拉伸分享吧
I think I'll do a stretch and share.
我收藏了一套独♥立♥战争的军刀
I have a collection of Revolutionary sabres
渴望拔刀出鞘
that hunger to be unsheathed.
很好很好
Okay, that was good. That was good.
下次试着从胸膜发音
But next time, try it from your diaphragm.
ABP
A.B.P. --
总是大声
Always be projecting.
我收藏了一套
I have a collection
独♥立♥战争的军刀渴望拔刀出鞘
of Revolutionary sabres that hunger to be unsheathed.
-听到了吗 -是
- Hear it? ‭- Yeah.
-很好 -好多了
- Great. - That was better.
你为什么画恐龙
Why are you drawing a dinosaur?
我只会画恐龙
All I can draw are dinosaurs.
富兰克林我要拿你怎么办
Oh, Franklin, what am I going to do with you?
我想只能爱你了
Just love you, I guess.
真不错安娜凯特
Oh, those look great, Anna-Kat.
得把画扔掉太美好
We're throwing them out. They're too nice.
我们得卑鄙
We need to go low.
现在开始泼脏水竞选
Smear campaign is in full effect.
针对九岁孩子吗
Against a 9-year-old?
是针对克洛伊的泼脏水竞选
It's really a smear campaign against Chloe
通过一个九岁孩子
through a 9-year-old.
这样好些
That makes it better.
太荒唐了
Well, that's ridiculous.
你需要担心的孩子是皮尔斯
The kid you should really be concerned about is Pierce.
我觉得他想从特里普手中抢走泰勒
I think he's trying to steal Taylor away from Trip.
别插手
Don't get involved.
但你插手了安娜凯特的事
But you're getting involved with the Anna-Kat thing.
我知道但安娜凯特
I know, but Anna-Kat
是可爱无助的小天使
is an adorable, helpless little angel.
特里普也是他根本看不到有什么事
So is Trip! He can't see what's happening.
他像卢瑟
He's just like Luthor.
如果由他决定
If left to his own devices,
特里普会吃巧克力吃到死
Trip would eat chocolate until he died.
格雷格看来你碰到了
Well, Greg, it looks like you have
"保持朋友亲近敌人更亲近"的情况
a "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" Situation.
如果你觉得皮尔斯对泰勒采取行动
If you think Pierce is moving in on Taylor,
那你就得亲近皮尔斯
then you need to keep Pierce close.
盯着他他出错时就揭露他
Watch him, and when he slips up, expose him.
很好
That's good. ‭
我邀请他来吃晚餐
I'll invite him to dinner.
他习惯后我就说
Then, when he's comfortable, I'll say,
皮尔斯你要不要土豆玉米
"Pierce, do you want some potatoes? Corn?
泰勒
Taylor?"
看他是否上钩
See if he takes the bait. ‭
我唱完后我妈把我从婴儿床里抱出来
And when I finish, my mom picks me up out of my crib,
她说
and she says,
我们会给你找位经纪人宝贝
"We're gonna get you an agent, honey."
如果你是音乐剧的主唱
If you're the lead in the musical,
你为什么花这么多时间陪一个
why are you spending so much time rehearsing with someone
-只是合唱团的人排练 -爸
- who's just in the chorus? - Dad!
我喜欢和泰勒一起唱歌♥ 她非常棒
I just like singing with Taylor. She's really good.
是吗皮尔斯是吗
Is she, Pierce? Is she?
我有耳朵我没听到
'Cause I got ears, and I ain't hearing it.
晚餐很好吃奥图太太
Dinner's delicious, Mrs. Otto.
谢谢你库珀
Thank you, Cooper.
库珀你不用这样说
Cooper, you don't have to say that.
尤其是这是假话的时候
Especially when it's not true.
晚餐和平常一样很恶心
Dinner's gross, per usual,
我要为晚餐道歉
and I'd like to apologize for this food
还有房♥子
and this house
以及我妈妈挑男人的眼光
and my mom's taste in men.
奥利弗我不知道你是怎么...
Oliver, I don't know what's gotten into --
他故意的这样我们会让他去寄宿学校别上当
我是怎么了
...gotten into me,
但我在考虑买♥♥些搞笑袜子
but I'm thinking about buying some whimsical socks
这样我打开抽屉时会大笑
that make me smile when I open up the drawer.
我觉得晚餐非常棒
Well, I happen to think dinner is terrific.
谢谢你奥图太太我一口也吃不下了
Thank you, Mrs. Otto. I couldn't eat another bite.
你知道谁能吃下一口吗特里普
You know who could eat another bite? Trip.
他可以一口一口吃下去
He could eat all the bites.
皮尔斯我们上楼练歌♥词
Okay, Pierce, let's go upstairs and run lines.
我打赌克洛伊·布朗·米勒为家人做好吃的晚餐
I bet Chloe Brown Mueller makes a nice dinner for her family.
我希望她是我的母亲
I wish she was my mother.
你这算什么儿子
What kind of son are you?
这位女人做的就是为你做饭
All this woman does is cook for you
关心你
and care for you,
你却对她如此无礼
and you disrespect her like this?
是我就赶他走
I would cast him out.
只有这样他才会吸取教训奥图太太
It's the only way he's going to learn, Mrs. Otto!
这是唯一的办法
The only way.
我知道你们两个白♥痴♥有什么目的
I know what you two idiots are up to.
你猜怎样
Well, guess what.
我不会签任何寄宿学校的任何申请书
I'm not signing any paper to any boarding school,
不管你表现得有多讨厌
no matter how obnoxious you act.
奥利弗最后说一次你哪里也别想去
Oliver, for the last time, you're not going anywhere.
你不希望奥利弗成为最好的奥利弗吗
Don't you want Oliver to be the best Oliver he can be?
库珀你不是有五个家吗
Cooper, don't you have five homes?
七个每个洲一个
Seven. One on each continent.
去其中一个
Go to one of them.
你毁了我的人生
You're ruining my life. ‭
但明天我们开始毁掉佩妮的人生
But tomorrow, we start ruining Penny's life.
等等往回倒一点
Hold on. Could we back up a minute?
你家在南极洲有房♥子
You have a house in Antarctica?
你看过《帝企鹅日记》吗
You ever see "March of the Penguins"?
它们从我们家经过
They marched right by our place.
垃圾不可回收
非可降解大便袋
-那是皮草吗 -不会吧
- Is that fur? - No way.
佩妮·布朗·米勒劳顿恨你爱煤
所有蜜蜂不死绝安娜凯特·奥图不会罢手
不
Oh, no!
-过来 -不
- Come on! - No!
别动
Freeze!
我的办公室马上
My office. Now.