美式主妇

American Housewife S03E06

Part 1 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:57 p.m.

你没看到吗
Don't you see it?
这里有个小突起
That little bump?
我看到了
Oh, I see it.
没有突起你没有突起
There is no bump. You do not have a bump.
你不必纠结
It's nothing you should obsess over.
你的鼻子很漂亮
You have a great nose.
如果你要整容
No, if you're gonna change something,
-我觉得应该整嘴唇 -妈
- I would go with your lips. ‭- Mom!
遗传我的薄嘴唇不是她的错
It's not her fault that she got my thin lips.
如果我在她这个年纪开始丰唇
If I had started juicing at her age,
我的人生就会不同
mm, my whole life would have been different.
我可以做MTV主持人
I could have been an MTV VJ.
那是什么
What's that?
天啊我太老了
Oh, God, I've lived too long.
现在是西港整容季
It's Westport's plastic surgery season.
大家现在整
People get their work done now
这样拍圣诞照之前伤口会愈合
so their scars heal before their Christmas pictures.
我真想修理这座城市
I want to punch this entire town in the face.
你不需要整容
You don't need to,
也不应该改变你的任何样子
nor should you, change anything about yourself.
她很完美
She is perfect.
你在泰勒这么大时戴过牙箍
You got braces when you were Taylor's age.
不也是改变了什么嘛
That's changing something.
妈可以过来聊聊吗
Mom, could I talk to you over here for a second?
不用了
I'm good.
你有什么毛病
What the hell is wrong with you?
我跟你说了我不喜欢我的嘴唇
I told you. I don't like my lips.
妈你总是太过关注外表
Mom, you always put way too much focus on outward appearance,
尤其是在我长大的时候
especially when I was growing up.
我花了很长时间才纠正
It took me a very long time to unlearn it.
但你成功了
But you did.
我很努力不去关注我孩子的外表
I am trying very hard not to do that with my kids.
我不希望你来这里
And I don't need you coming in here
建议他们去整容
and suggesting that they have plastic surgery!
好
Fine.
教育他们不管长啥样子都要爱自己
Raise them to love themselves no matter what they look like.
我不是坏妈妈
I am not the bad parent here!
但真得夸奖她她保持得够紧绷
But I gotta hand it to her. She has kept it high and tight.
美式主妇第三季第六集
埃莉医生
Dr. Ellie!
你回来了
You're back!
阿布林校长说
Principal Ablin said
你做了手术后在康复
you were recovering from an operation.
你还好吗
Is everything okay?
非常好
Everything is just fine.
埃莉医生隆了胸
Dr. Ellie got her boobs done.
批准我傻笑
Permission to giggle?
批准
Permission granted.
新来的是谁
Who's the new kid?
安德鲁·万德沃德
That's Andrew VandeVorde.
他从密尔沃基转来的
He just transferred from Milwaukee
在那他和编舞师打了一架
after getting into a fist fight with a choreographer.
大家管他叫"啤酒小镇的芭蕾坏男孩"
They call him "The Bad Boy Ballerino of Brew Town."
-你看到安德鲁的小腿了吗 -怎么可能没看到
- Did you see Andrew's calves? ‭- How could I miss them?
像裤子里塞了两个椰子
They're like two coconuts underneath a pair of Danskins.
知道什么被低估了吗
You know what's underrated?
身材成比例
Being in proportion.
奥利弗别嫉妒
Oliver, don't be jealous.
小腿没肌肉没什么不好
There is nothing wrong with being flat-calved.
我的桌子怎么到前厅了
What's my desk doing in the foyer?
真正的问题是
The real question is
你的基因到底有什么毛病
what's wrong with you and your gene pool?
你让我的小腿肌肉松弛
You stuck me with flaccid calves!
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我很内疚占用了你的办公室
I feel bad about taking over your office, you know?
这样我们都有自己的空间
This way we each have our own space.
这不是强壮男舞者的小腿
These aren't the legs of a strong male dancer.
应该去拍女士刮毛刀广♥告♥
These things belong in a Lady Bic commercial.
这是什么情况
I don't know what's happening!
春夏秋冬才是季节
Seasons are winter, spring, summer, and fall.
什么样的地方有整容季
What kind of town has plastic surgery season?
显然凯蒂抱怨季
Oh, well, apparently Katie-complaining season
一年不断
lasts year-round.
说清楚
Just to be clear,
第二顿早餐的意义就是抱怨
the point of Second Breakfast is to complain.
别说我
Stop calling me out.
不过格雷格的鼻子呼吸时又有声音了
Also, Greg's nose is whistling again.
蛋糕
Ooo, cake.
对于凯蒂·奥图来说每天都能作弊
Every day is cheat day when you're Katie Otto.
瞧这位是谁
Look who I have here.
你好凯蒂
Hi, Katie.
你好
Hi.
我认识你吗
Do I know you?
当然
You sure do.
是我伊芙琳
It's me. It's Evelyn.
伊芙琳
Evelyn...?
西港最胖的家庭主妇伊芙琳
The fattest housewife in Westport Evelyn?
不再是了
Not anymore!
她做了胃旁路手术
She got gastric bypass surgery.
如果吃超过一顶针的食品
If she eats more than a thimble-full of food,
就会拉裤子
she craps her pants,
但天啊她真美
but boy, does she look good.
你为什么这样做
Why did you do this?
是健康问题吗
Were there health issues?
不我只是想被邀请参加派对
No, I just, uh, wanted to be invited to parties.
成功了
And it worked.
伊芙琳瘦了
With Evelyn losing all this weight,
你知道这让你成了什么吗
you know what that makes you?
知道
I do.
用这瓶橄榄油敲碎你脑袋的人
The person who's gonna smash you over the head with this bottle of olive oil
然后把鲜花放在你的坟头
and then put flowers on your grave.
走吧伊芙琳
Come on, Evelyn.
有间新餐厅我想试试
There's a new restaurant I want to try
只出♥售♥气味
that only serves smells.
我的天克洛伊说得对
Oh, my God. Chloe's right.
多亏了整容季
Thanks to plastic surgery season,
现在我成了西港最胖的家庭主妇
I am now the fattest housewife in Westport.
真不敢相信伊芙琳屈服于人们的压力
I can't believe Evelyn gave in to the peer pressure
把胃给系住了
and had her stomach lassoed.
现在商场的Chico's品牌要关门了
They're definitely gonna get rid of the Chico's at the mall now.
光靠我一个人买♥♥东西撑不下去
I can't keep that place in business on my own.
你的身材不奇怪
You're not the one with the odd body.
是她们奇怪
They are.
在其他地方你算瘦在加拿大你算瘦小
Anyplace else, you're thin. In Canada you're a waif.
首先下一站加拿大
First of all, next trip, Canada.
我不知道为什么我为这事这么纠结
I don't know why I'm letting it bother me so much.
我对自己的样子感到自在
I am comfortable with who I am.
这是我的超能力
It's my superpower.
我的超能力是什么
What's my superpower?
你总是挑选最慢的收银台
You always pick the slowest checkout line.
你输了吧超人
Take that, Superman! ‭
看谁受到启发要瘦身
Look who got inspired to slim down!
不是这样的
That is not what this is.
我在躲避我的家人
I'm just hiding from my family.
我为你骄傲
Well, I'm proud of you.
我不要你为我骄傲
I don't want you to be proud of me!
我骄傲
I am!
我不能再和你散步了
I can't take walks with you anymore.
大家会觉得我想锻炼
People are going to think that I'm trying to exercise,
我不希望给克洛伊·布朗·米勒
and I don't want to give Chloe Brown Mueller
或任何疯狂的贱♥人♥满足感