美式主妇

American Housewife S03E13

Part 3 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:58 p.m.

This is the first hotel room we've been in
我没有感觉到有坏事发生
where I haven't gotten the sense that something bad went down.
格雷格一碗柠檬
Greg! A bowl of real lemons
反季节的
out of season. ?
-快来格雷格 -来了
- Come on, Greg. - Yeah, yeah.
谁可靠理智啊
Now who's "Safe and sensible"?
伙计这很奇怪
Dude, this is weird.
你为什么不坐在前排
Why aren't you in the front with me?
因为我从没坐过前排
Because I've never sat in the front,
我永远不会坐在前排
and I'm never gonna sit in the front.
去山顶快点
The Hill, chop chop.
天啊
Oh, man.
感觉真好
This feels good.
太好了
So good.
我在天堂
I'm in Heaven.
格雷格你在做什么
Greg, what are you doing?
-你在憋气吗 -抱歉
- Are you holding your breath? - Sorry.
我的身体不习惯放松
My body is not accustomed to relaxation.
你需要放松
You need to let yourself go.
你理应享受
You deserve to enjoy yourself.
好我会试试
Okay. I'll try.
只是在接受普通传统的按♥摩♥
Just getting regular, legitimate massages in here!
我们到了
We made it.
做得好你有天赋
Well done, man. You were a natural out there.
你害怕左转
I mean, you're scared of making lefts,
但转三次右转也一样能到
but three right turns gets you there all the same.
布里和维多利亚在看我们
Ooh, there's Brie and Victoria totally checking us out.
-我有冷藏器 -你带了什么
- I got a cooler! - What'd you bring, guys?
别太急切的样子给一个"你好"的点头
Hey, let's not be too eager. Just give them a "Sup" Nod.
我头发怎么样
How's my hair?
清新
Fresh.
-新护发素 -你知道的
- New conditioner? - You know it.
姑娘们
Hey, ladies.
你们自己开车来的
Did you guys drive here yourselves?
是的
Oh, yeah.
你有驾照吗
You have a license?
没有小姐
No, ma'am.
我不害怕惹点麻烦
I'm not afraid of getting into a little trouble.
显然你也不怕给车挂空档
And apparently you're not afraid of leaving the car in neutral.
不要不要
No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
回来
Come back!
谁需要救急基金
Who needs an emergency fund?
爸妈会杀了我们
Mom and Dad are gonna kill us.
他们不是你的爸妈他们不会杀了你
They're not your mom and dad, and they're not gonna kill you.
他们会杀了我
They're gonna kill me.
是的
Oh, yeah.
-要去玩吗 -不
- Should we go mingle? - ?No!
你未经允许开了父母的车
You took your parents' car without permission,
然后把它撞坏了
and then crashed it?
我姐也这么做过
My sister did that,
结果被送走了
and then she got sent away.
完了完了
This is so bad. This is so bad.
肯定有办法解决
There's got to be a way to fix this.
等等你
Wait a minute. You.
-你可以解决 -怎么做
- You can fix this. - How?
用你父母
With that credit card
买♥♥私人小岛的信♥用♥卡♥
your parents bought that private island with.
是的
Oh, yeah!
公平来说我们是用积分买♥♥的岛
To be fair, we bought that island with points,
但你说得对
but you're right.
我们用钱解决问题
Let's throw money at this problemo.
在你父母早上回家前
I'll just buy an identical car and swap it out
我买♥♥辆一样的车换掉
before your parents get home in the morning.
如果将电台调到公共广播电台
If we set the radio stations to NPR
再在储物箱里放点压缩袜
and throw some compression socks in the glove box,
也许能行
that might actually work.
酒店夏威夷果
Mmm, hotel macadamia nuts.
我做到了需要新的遗愿清单了
I did it. Gonna need a whole new bucket list.
12块
$12?!
格雷格我们怎么说的
Greg, what did we say?
不要再因为小酒吧的价格
No more incredulously shouting
而怀疑地大叫
the price of things from the minibar.
你想吃什么就吃
If you want something, just have it.
不管了
Screw it.
泰勒总是说什么来着
What's that thing that Taylor always says?
油头吗[应为YOLO 人生只活一次]
"Yol-Toe"? ?
绝对是油头
It's definitely Yol-Toe.
油头
Yol-Toe!
格雷格你脖子上是什么
Greg, what is on your neck?
什么
What?
不好起疹子了
Oh, no. It's hives.
吃了夏威夷果的原因
It's a reaction to the macadamia nuts.
不顾后果地花钱就是这种下场
This is what happens when you spend recklessly.
好痒
Oh, I'm so itchy.
我得回家吃处方抗组胺剂
We have to go home and get my prescription antihistamine.
格雷格你没事
Greg, you're fine.
你的喉咙没有闭合
It's not like your throat is closing up.
我的天会发生这种事
Oh, my God! That can happen?!
怎么保持畅通呢我要一直出声
How do I keep it open? I have to keep using my voice.
爸妈打电♥话♥了
Mom and Dad called.
爸过敏了他们马上回家
Dad had an allergy attack, so they're coming home.
是时候睡觉了
It's time to go to bed.
妈妈会给我讲故事
Mom tells me a story first.
好
Um, okay.
爱德·诺顿和布拉德·皮特不知什么原因开办了搏击俱乐部
Ed Norton and Brad Pitt start a fight club for some reason,
最后他们是一个人
and, in the end, they're the same dude.
晚安
Good night.
知道你在游戏中背叛我
You know why I got so mad at you
我为什么那么生你的气吗
when you betrayed me in that video game?
因为多年来你和妈妈一起看《娇妻》真人秀
Because you spent years watching "Real Housewives" with mom
开始相信
and have been programmed to believe
面对最小的问题女人也是那种反应
that's how a woman reacts to the smallest of problems?
不是
No.
因为爸爸说得对
Because Dad's right about you.
你不管别人只管你自己
You don't have anyone's back but your own.
你真这样想我吗
You really think that about me?
肯定是爸妈
Ugh, that must be Mom and Dad.
我的天
Oh, my God!
爸的车怎么了
What happened to Dad's car?
为什么是奥利弗在开车
And why is Oliver driving?
你们做了什么
What did you guys do?!
我开走了爸的车撞坏了
I took Dad's car out, and I crashed it.
什么这不是你
What?! This isn't you!
我知道我搞砸了但别担心
I know I screwed up, but don't worry.
库珀会买♥♥辆新车在爸妈早上回来前
Cooper's gonna buy a new car and have it here in the morning
放在这里
before Mom and Dad get back.
爸过敏了
Dad had an allergy attack.
爸妈马上就到家了
Mom and Dad are on their way home right now!
什么不好
What? No.
我的天我完了
Oh, my God. I'm so busted.
没必要我有主意
Not necessarily. I have an idea.
大家的护照能用吗
Is everyone's passport current?
搞什么
What the hell?
保险杆和后备箱
It's the bumper and the trunk.
修好要花很多钱
This is gonna cost a fortune to fix.
我不知道我的喉咙在闭合
Ugh. ?I don't know whether my throat is closing up
是因为过敏发作
because I'm having an allergy attack
还是恐慌发作
or because I'm having a panic attack
因为我们为了玻璃罐里的巧克力豆花了那么多钱
over how much money we spent on M&Ms in a glass jar.
你们回来了
Oh, you guys are home.
爸你们...我的天