美式主妇

American Housewife S03E11

Part 2 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:58 p.m.

Okay, so if either of us get through
就是第20个答案是煎培根的声音对吗
and we're caller 20, we're guessing bacon frying, right?
我还是觉得是有人展开锡纸团的声音
I still think it's someone unfolding a tin foil ball.
锡纸团不
Tin foil ball? No.
安娜凯特回答我的答案
Anna-Kat, we're just gonna do what I say.
我不必听你的
Hey, I don't have to listen to you.
我早就不坐安全座椅了伙计
I'm outta the car seat, buddy.
好几年都是脸朝前坐着
I've been facing forward for years.
你好你是第20个打进来的接通了
Hello, you're caller 20 and you're on the air!
我的天你打通了电♥话♥给我
Oh, my God, you got through. Give me the phone.
我不会把电♥话♥给你
I'm not giving you the phone.
安娜凯特我是认真的
Anna-Kat, I'm not fooling around.
-你叫什么名字 -安娜凯特
- What's your name? - Anna-Kat.
安娜凯特这是什么声音
Okay, Anna-Kat, what's that noise?
有人展开锡纸团
Someone unfolding a tin foil ball.
抱歉不对
Sorry, that's not it!
你失败了
You're a loser.
够了我自己来
That's it. I'm doing it on my own.
-我不带你玩了 -我带你进来的
- I'm dropping you. - Hey, I brought you into this,
你却背叛我
and you're turning on me?
好吧知道这是什么声音吗
Fine. You know what this sound is?
这是我赢了500块后
That's you after I win that 500 bucks
请人打你的嘴你发出的声音
and hire someone to punch you in the mouth.
所有人起床
Everybody up!
好了各位快点快点
All right, people, let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
格雷格
Greg!
我刚想起来我早上有会
I just remembered that I have an early meeting,
所以今天你送孩子们上学
so I need you to take the kids to school today.
这种新信息
You know, this kind of new information
如果我们早上没那么赶
would be much easier to process
会比较容易接受
if we weren't so rushed in the morning.
知道了当不知道
Duly noted, duly ignored.
我还需要你的薪资和纳税表
I still need your W-2s.
哥今年要早点上报
Daddy's gonna file early this year.
奥图太太
Mrs. Otto?
根据指示我从后门进来的
As instructed, I came to the back door.
快进来免得我老公看到我们在一起
Come in before my husband sees us together.
女士我不知道你期待什么
Lady, I don't know what you're expecting here,
但我只和一个女人做♥爱♥
but I make love to one woman --
康州埃文的雪莉·格利克曼女士
Ms. Shirley Glickman of Avon, Connecticut.
给我生了四个孩子亚伯诺亚
Mother to my four children -- Abe, Noah --
伯尼你只是来帮我们报税的
Bernie, you are just here to do our taxes.
抱歉我发脾气了
I'm sorry I lost my temper.
好消息亲爱的
Good news, honey. ‭
这张晚餐的收据
This receipt from dinner?
我记得我们当时讨论了你策划的派对
I remember we discussed a party you were planning,
所以这个不计税
so this comes off your taxes.
飞上去了四分
It's up, annnnnnd it's good for four points!
真的没有得四分的体育运动
There is literally no sport where you can score four points.
我也有好消息
‭I have some good news, too.
这是什么
What's this?
报税完成
Our finished taxes.
怎么会完成了
How could our taxes be finished?
还有三周多
I still have more than three weeks to go.
我知道
I know.
所以我请了位会计
That's why I had an accountant
今天来做完了
come by today and do everything.
-现在完成了 -等等
- Now they're all done. - Hold on.
你让其他男人看我的财务软件
You let another man into my QuickBooks?
你报税的方式
The way that you do taxes
让我想走进加油站的厕所
makes me want to walk into a gas-station bathroom
舔里面的所有东西
and lick everything inside
直到我的免疫系统崩溃
until my immune system falls apart.
我不知道我让你这么烦
I had no idea how much it bothered you.
这是我们婚姻中的大问题所以我解决了
It's been a huge problem in our marriage, so I fixed it.
我来弄清楚
Let me get this straight.
你不喜欢我做事的方式
You didn't like the way I did something,
所以你就自作主张去改变
so you just took the liberty of changing it?
对
Yep.
我们结婚18年
So 18 years into this marriage,
现在可以解决彼此的问题了
it's now okay to fix problems with one another.
看来是这样
Seems that way.
很高兴知道
Good...to...know.
为什么6点半闹钟就响了
Why is the alarm going off at 6:30?
我想了你说的话
I was thinking about what you said,
我一直很讨厌你催我们
and I've always hated the way that you rush us
早上出门所以我决定
out of the house in the morning, so I decided...
让闹钟早30分钟响
‭...to set the alarm 30 minutes earlier.
-你这样做了 -对
- Oh, you did, did you? ‭- Yep.
现在没有你大喊大叫
Now everyone can get ready at a slower pace
所有人可以慢慢来
without all your yelling.
只是解决婚姻中的大问题
Just fixing a huge marital problem.
那就来吧
So I guess it's on.
这样是不是很好
Isn't this nice?
我好累
I'm so tired.
你瞧格雷格你让他们太早起来
See, Greg? You got them up too early,
现在他们很累
and now they're tired.
不过早上不吻我家的狗也是件好事
Although it is nice not frenching my dog in the morning.
你看不赶是好事
You see? It's nice not to be rushed.
还有一件好事
Also on the list of things that are nice --
不用在爸上厕所时刷牙
not having to brush your teeth while Dad's on the can.
我会想念的
Actually, I'm gonna miss that part.
偶尔我们聊得不错
Every once in a while we stumbled into a nice chat.
今晚首演你准备好了吗
Opening night tonight. You ready?
只要和你一起上台我没事的
As long as I'm up there with you, I'll be fine.
今天泰勒真漂亮
Taylor's looking pretty cute today.
你真厉害
I gotta hand it to you.
对吧计划完全管用
Right? The plan's totally working.
她从来没有好奇
Yeah, she never even wondered
她怎么从三号♥花蕾变成了主演
how she went from Plant Bud #3 to the lead.
兄弟太厉害了
Dude, mastermind.
甩掉她那个笨蛋男友有点费劲
It took some work getting rid of that dumb boyfriend of hers.
但喷花盖文老师的车
Yeah, but spray-painting Mrs. Gavin's car
然后把油漆喷罐藏在朱莉的储物柜里
and then hiding the cans in Julie's locker
让泰勒成为主演真是天才
to get Taylor the lead -- genius.
过了今晚她欠我就欠得太多了
And after tonight, she'll owe me everything.
然后把她弄到手
And then it's just a matter of time
只是时间问题
before I get a piece of that.
我会打进去猜是煎培根的声音
I'm gonna get through and guess "Bacon frying,"
然后我会买♥♥高收益市政债券
and then I'm gonna buy a high-yield municipal bond,
你只能看到债券到期
and you're just gonna have to watch it mature.
是吗我会打进去我会...
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna get through, and I'm go--
你好你是第20个打进来的接通了
Hello, you're caller 20, and you're on the air!
菲尔我打通了
Phil, I got through!
见鬼
Damn it!
这是什么声音
What's that noise?
煎培根
Is it bacon frying?
跟你说了
Told you.
这个不对
That is...not it!
-你失败了 -失败者
- You're a loser. - Loser!
接下来会这样
Here's what's gonna happen now.
我会比你早想到那是什么声音
I'm gonna figure out that noise before you do,
我会把所有钱拿去买♥♥橙汁期货
and I'm gonna put all the money into orange juice futures.
太不负责任了
That's so irresponsible!
预测会有严寒的冬天
They're projecting a rough winter!
我知道
I know.
特里普
Trip.
等等
Wait.
你想怎样泰勒
What do you want, Taylor?
关于皮尔斯你说得对
You were right about Pierce.
他害我们分手然后陷害朱莉