美式主妇

American Housewife S03E19

Part 2 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:59 p.m.

And then you need to get up on other stages --
离这间大学很远的舞台
stages far away from this university.
笑声是通用语言
And laughter is the universal language,
你能去任何地方比如俄♥国♥
so you could go anywhere -- like Russia.
你可以去俄♥国♥
You could go to Russia.
感谢你的支持奥图教授
Thank you for your support, Professor Otto.
你要送我我不能开车
I need a ride. I can't drive.
我的周边视觉比不上以前了
My peripheral vision is not what it used to be.
而且我有三次醉酒驾驶
Plus, I have three DUIs.
你还得为安娜凯特的游戏约会
So, you still have to get the goodie bags
去取礼品袋
for Anna-Kat's playdate.
我不能不去看格兰特的演出
Actually, I couldn't cancel on Grant.
我想昨晚告诉你但你在睡觉
I wanted to tell you last night, but you were sleeping.
我不能重新安排这次游戏约会
Well, I can't reschedule this playdate --
花了一个月才定下来
it took a month to get it on the books.
别担心我找到了能替代你的人
Don't worry -- I found someone who can sub in for you.
凯蒂
Katie?
拜托告诉我不是我妈任何人都行
Please tell me it's anyone but my mother.
告诉我是在匝道卖♥♥腌黄瓜的人
Tell me it's the guy who sells pickles by the off-ramp.
拜托
Oh, come on.
你不舒服的时候
When you're under the weather,
最好就是有妈妈在身边
there's nothing better than a mom.
亲爱的
Hi, honey.
恶心你生病了
Ew! You're sick.
你为什么没告诉我她生病了
W-Why didn't you tell me she was sick?
这是姜汁汽水
Brought you some ginger ale.
你和爸还好吗
How are things with Dad?
很好
Good, good.
我们每晚都在沙发上依偎
We cuddle on the couch every night.
太好了
Oh, that's nice.
我们只能这样
Actually, we don't have any choice.
公♥寓♥太小了只有地方
The apartment is so small that there's only room
放一个双人沙发
for the one stupid love seat.
你要看安娜凯特游戏约会的东西
I need to show you the stuff for Anna-Kat's playdate.
那边有个活页夹
There's a binder.
-真的吗 -妈拜托
- Seriously? - ?Mom, please.
你不能搞砸
I need you not to suck at this.
放轻松
Oh, relax.
我把你养大了
I raised you, didn't I?
不算是
Not really.
你从来不在家
You were never home.
我孤单在家你却到处跑
I was alone while you were traveling around,
在机场酒吧喝酒
boozing it up at airport bars.
美好的过去
Ah, good times, good times.
全在上面了
Everything's in the binder.
请你跟着说明走
Please just follow the instructions.
这是游戏约会
It's a playdate.
天啊现在的父母
God, parents these days.
对什么都那么紧张
They're -- They're just so uptight about everything.
二手烟让你成为了现在的模样
Secondhand smoke made you the woman you are.
这是我的孩子
This is my kid.
你得按照我的方式来
And I need you to do it my way.
我要你确保
And I need you to make sure
泰勒不会留开家
that Taylor doesn't leave the house.
不能让奥利弗见他前女友吉娜
And keep Oliver away from his ex-girlfriend Gina.
明白
Got it.
你得放轻松
And you need to relax.
放轻松
Just take it easy.
给
Uh, here.
吃吧
Just take this.
药效有点强
It's got a bit of a bite to it,
你别下床就最好了
so probably best if you don't try to get out of bed.
有点强你给我吃的是什么
A bite? What did you give me?
没被认可的感冒药
Uh, it's off-label, uh, flu medication.
我每次没精神就会吃
Yeah, I take them whenever I'm feeling a little run down.
但大多数人用它
But most people use it
镇静需要运输的大猩猩
to sedate gorillas for transport.
慢着礼品袋
Wait! The goodie bags.
你得去商店拿回来
You got to get them from the store.
-不可能 -必须可能
- Well, that's not gonna happen. - ?It has to happen!
这是最重要的
They are the most impor--
它们
They're the -- the...
出什么事了
What is happening?
药效很快吧
Yeah, that pill kicks in pretty quick, huh?
是的我磨掉了
Oh, yeah. You know, I sanded
外面的包裹层
the slow-down coating off of them.
肯定是姑娘们
Must be the girls.
就
Just a...
就
Just a...
药效很爽
Those pills are a fun ride.
真希望我也能吃
I wish I could join you.
我妈给了你说明吗
Did my mom give you instructions?
谁知道呢
Who can say?
我们要做什么
Well, what should we do?
去外面玩
Go play outside now.
好姑娘对了
Good girls. Here we go.
老妈说了我们怎么办吗
Hey, did Mom say anything about us?
你妈没说什么
Uh, your mom isn't saying anything.
我给了她药效很强的药
I gave her kind of a strong pill.
药被管理局禁了
Yeah, uh, the FDA banned it
有人吃了后忘了数学
after some people who took it forgot math.
不仅是忘了怎么做
Not just how to do it,
而是忘了那是什么
but...what it is.
有意思
This is interesting.
你们不如互相盯着
Uh, why don't you two watch each other?
我去办公室
I'll be in the office.
互相盯着
Watch each other, huh?
你能允许我邀请吉娜来吗
Hey, do I have your permission to invite Gina over?
当然
Absolutely.
你能允许我去看特里普的比赛吗
Do I have your permission to go to Trip's game?
没问题
By all means.
做家长太容易了
Wow. Parenting is so easy.
只要喊一声格雷格
All you got to do is throw in a "Greeeeg!"
是亲爱的抱歉亲爱的
Yes, honey. I'm sorry, honey.
妈你要去哪里
Mom? Where do you think you're going?
派对用品商店
Party store.
我要去拿礼屁袋
I gotta get "Goobie" Bags.
你不能开车
You're in no condition to be driving.
你病了
You're sick.
更重要的是外婆给你吃了药
And, more importantly, Grandma's got you rollin' hard.
随便
Whatever.
不准说随便
Don't you "Whatever" Me!
这个给我你回床上去
I am taking these, you're going back to bed,
就是这样
and that's that.
我可以开车
No, I'm fine to drive.
放开我
Get off of me.
-我说了放开 -好
- I said, get off! - ?Fine!
什锦杂果是怎么回事
"What's the deal with trail mix?
只是很难找到的巧克力糖豆
It's just M&M's that are hard to get to,
对吗
ammiright?"
你要做回自己
You just need to be yourself up there.
别管提示卡
Forget about the note cards. ?
别管提示卡
Forget the cards. Forget the cards.
别管提示卡
Just forget the cards. Forget the cards.
讲讲你的生活
Tell stories about your life.
人们喜欢听
That's what people can relate to.
来源于真实
Come from a place of truth.
真实好
Truth. Okay.
咚咚
Knock, knock.
是谁
Who's there?
我有肠易激综合征