美式主妇

American Housewife S03E03

Part 1 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:56 p.m.

大家好
Hey, guys.
工作怎么样这次是什么活动
How was work? What event was this?
退休派对
Retirement party.
结果如何他开心吗
Oh. How'd it turn out? Was he happy?
他退休了孩子们搬出去了
He's retired. His kids have moved out.
他过着我的理想生活
He's livin' my dream, man!
又是玉米饼吗
Tacos again, huh?
是但今晚是生菜叶包的
Yeah, but tonight, it's with lettuce-leaf shells.
我在网上看到的格温妮丝就是这样做
I read it on Goop. It's how Gwyneth makes hers.
你为什么不能像其他丈夫一样
Why can't you just go online
上网查看女人胸部
and look at boobs like other husbands?
你开始工作让我负责晚餐
Hey, you started working and put me in charge of dinners,
但欢迎你...
but you are welcome to --
不不不我没意见
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I'll be good.
生菜
Lettuce.
奥利弗你为什么在做高考的练习题
Oliver, why are you doing practice tests for the S.A.T.?
你还有两年时间
You're two years away.
我早做准备
I'm getting an early jump on things.
我需要高分进哈佛
I'm gonna need a perfect score to get into Harvard.
这本书是我们给泰勒买♥♥的
Mnh-mnh, we bought that book for Taylor.
不谢了
No, thank you!
如果你想上大学
You need to take these practice tests
就得做这些练习题
if you're gonna get into college.
你会发现爸爸不再说"好大学"了
You'll notice Dad has stopped saying "Good" College.
我跟你说了很多遍
I've told you this many times.
我不是上大学的材料
I'm just not college material,
这没什么不好
and there's nothing wrong with that.
格雷格泰勒说这没什么不好
Greg, Taylor says there's nothing wrong with it.
我想讨论结束了
So I guess that's the end of the conversation.
少女总是有着最好的教育直觉
Teenage girls always have the best parenting instincts.
多谢你为我们指出明路泰勒
Thanks for setting us straight, Taylor.
-不客气 -我会改无线网密♥码♥
- You're welcome! - I'm changing the Wi-Fi password.
你每学习一个小时我就告诉你一个字符
I'll reveal one character for each hour you study.
好的
Fine-ah!
惊喜
Surprise.
你来这做什么妈
What are you doing here, Mom?
我不能顺道来看我的家人吗
Can't I just drop by to see my family?
如果你有五件行李就不算顺道
It's not a drop-by if you have five pieces of luggage.
你知道我喜欢有很多可选的衣服
You know that I like to have wardrobe choices.
真希望我更像你
Oh, I wish I could be more like you,
每天在天鹅绒里打滚
just rolling around in velour every day.
外婆
Hi, Grandma!
泰勒
Taylor!
帮我拿行李好吗
Would you help me with my bags?
我去客房♥安顿好
I'll just go get settled in the guest room.
那是我的办公室
That's my office.
她以为我的办公室是客房♥
She thinks my office is a guest room.
她还以为鸡尾酒和一包香烟
She also thinks a mojito and a pack of cigarettes
是营养均衡的一餐
is a balanced meal.
妈我们不是不高兴见到你
Mom, it's not that we're not happy to see you.
只是现在来玩时间上不太好
It just might not be the best time for a visit.
我有新工作孩子们在上学
I have a new job, and the kids are getting into school.
宝贝
Uh, sweetie,
我听到了我完全理解
I hear you, and I completely understand.
所以我计划在这里时会帮很多忙
Which is why I plan to be a big help around the house while I'm here.
泰勒
Taylor.
笑
Smile.
美人永远不要皱眉
Pretty people should never frown.
抱歉外婆
Sorry, Grandma,
但爸妈想强迫我上大学
but Mom and Dad are trying to force me to go to college.
太傻了
Well, that's stupid.
好了跟我来
All right, come with me.
格雷格再跟我说一遍
Greg, walk me through this again.
你会被抓到的你会被判20年至终身监禁
You'll never get away with it, you'll get 20 years to life,
不得假释
and no parole.
我还是等到安娜凯特上高中吧
Maybe I'll wait till Anna-Kat gets into high school.
美式主妇第三季第三集
泰勒这些是你的美好时光
Oh, Taylor, these are your good years.
你不必浪费在读大学上
You don't have to waste them on college.
终于有人明白了
Finally, someone who gets it.
你的活力处于巅峰
No, you're at your peak energy, your --
颜值也在巅峰去旅行
your peak appearance. Travel.
你可以在伊比沙岛走进任何酒吧
You could walk into any bar in Ibiza
最后在某位有钱人的游艇上
and end up riding around on some rich man's yacht
环游两年
for the next two years.
我能选有钱人吗
Ooh. Do I get to pick the rich guy?
通常不行
Not usually.
妈你说你会帮忙
Mom, you said you were going to be helpful.
这不是帮忙
This is not helpful.
什么嘛我只是在给建议
What? I'm just giving advice.
这是祖母做的事
That's what grandmothers do.
她们不会穿着奇怪的超短睡袍这样做
Not in a weirdly short robe, they don't.
泰勒准备好上学
Taylor, go get ready for school.
好但我什么也学不到
Fine, but I won't learn anything.
你要在这里住多久
How long are you staying with us?
我这样问是因为你带来了玛格丽特调酒机
I only ask because you brought a margarita machine.
那是吉米·巴菲特
Oh, yeah, that's the Jimmy Buffett,
家用混合饮料机中的捷豹
the Jaguar of at-home blended-drink makers.
这让我想起来凯蒂
Oh, which reminds me, Katie.
你要送我去超♥市♥
I'm gonna need a ride to Trader Joe's
买♥♥青柠和盐
for limes and rim salt.
我不会送任何人去任何地方
I'm not going to take anyone anywhere.
今天是我数周来第一次休息
Today is my first day off in weeks,
我要好好享受煲《单身汉》的第一刻
and I am going to soak up every moment of "The Bachelor."
是凯伦F得到玫瑰还是凯伦M得到玫瑰
Will Karen F. Get a rose? Will Karen M. Get a rose?
谁有正当理由
Who's there for the right reasons?
你有玫瑰你有玫瑰你有玫瑰
You get a rose, and you get a rose, and you get a rose!
安娜凯特你还好吗
Anna-Kat, are you okay?
你看起来很兴奋
You seem kind of revved up.
外婆让我喝咖啡
Grandma's letting me have coffee.
妈你疯了吗
Mom! Are you insane?
你不能让九岁的孩子喝咖啡
You cannot give a nine-year-old coffee.
你反应过度了
You're overreacting.
如果她失眠
And if she has any trouble sleeping,
我就给她吃几片安定
I'll just give her a few flakes of a Kloni.
这是空姐常用的伎俩
It's an old stewardess trick.
你不能在孩子们面前说这种话
You cannot say stuff like that in front of the kids.
你真是坏影响
You are such a bad influence.
别说了
Oh, stop it.
人们也是这样说伽利略的
People said the same thing about Galileo.
凯瑟琳我得说这个比较太恰当了
Kathryn, I must say, I'm impressed by the reference.
格雷格凯蒂高中的所有人都知道
Greg, everyone at Katie's high school knew
伽利略·霍罗威茨不是老鼠屎
that Galileo Horowitz was not the bad seed
是有些老师说的
some teachers made him out to be.
喂
Hello?
阿布林校长
Principal Ablin.
好我送孩子上学时
Okay. I will stop by your office
会去你的办公室
when I drop the kids off at school.
奥利弗下来
Oliver, get down here!
什么事
What was that?
我的休息日完蛋了
My day off being blown to bits.
阿布林校长说他要找我谈话
Principal Ablin says he needs to talk to me
是关于奥利弗的严肃事情
about a very serious matter involving Oliver.
你做了什么
What did you do?
我不知道
I don't know.
他可能想给我颁奖
He probably wants to give me an award or something.
不是社区服务
It's not for community service.
-对吗 -我不会击掌的
- Am I right? - ‭I'm not going to high-five that.
这代表你不送我去超♥市♥吗
Does this mean you're not taking me to the store?
我不会送你去超♥市♥的
I was never taking you to the store.
-对 -大家上车