美式主妇

American Housewife S03E01

Part 3 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:56 p.m.

I know how to beat the test.
工作的时候我有办公室大家听我说话
At work, I have an office, people listen to me,
很长时间来这是第一次
and for the first time in a while,
我感觉我在使用大脑
I feel like I'm using my brain.
我喜欢工作所以我是坏妈妈吗
Am I bad mom because I like my job?
当然不是
Of course not.
做职业母亲感到内疚是正常的
Feeling guilty is part of being a working mom.
或者学我请一位犹太保姆
Or do it my way and hire a Jewish nanny
为你内疚
to feel guilty for you.
我随时愿意把哈娃借给你
I'd be happy to loan you Chava any time.
谢谢你们
Thanks, guys.
真的谢谢你安吉拉
Or really, thanks, Angela.
多瑞丝你一点帮助也没有
Doris, you were no help at all.
凯蒂真是对不起
Oh. Katie, I'm so sorry.
谢谢
Thank you.
瞧你信了对测试就得这样
See? You believed that. That's how you beat the test.
被骗了未确诊
Duped! Undiagnosed!
试一百次都成功
100 for 100!
泰勒·奥图
Taylor Otto.
你进去前听我最后一个想法
Hey, before you go in, I have one last thought.
"别搞砸了" 强尼·戴蒙德
"Don't blow it." Johnny Diamond.
别搞砸了别搞砸了
Don't blow it. Don't blow it.
你今天唱什么泰勒
So, what are you gonna be singing for us today, Taylor?
又来了一个微笑者
We got another smiler!
你肯定是贝琪
You must be Becky.
真高兴终于见到你了
It is so nice to finally meet you!
我是凯蒂你妈妈请我来策划你的派对
My name is Katie, and your mom hired me to plan your party.
这不是我的派对
It's not my party.
这都是给我妈妈的
All of this is for my mom.
除了服务员他们是我爸的
Except for the waiters. They're for my dad.
这是你的生日
This is your birthday.
不如你选你想要的生日蛋糕
How 'bout you pick out the birthday cake you want?
巧克力香草
Chocolate, vanilla.
不重要
It doesn't matter.
无论我说什么我妈都会改成果馅饼
Whatever I say, my mom will just change it to flan.
南希我有个奇怪的想法
Hey, Nance. I had a weird thought.
如果我们把"南太平洋"主题换成"海洋奇缘"呢
What if we changed the theme from "South Pacific" To "Moana?"
我为什么这样做
Why would I do that?
因为这是孩子的派对
'Cause it's a child's party.
我给她准备了果馅饼她还要什么
I'm getting her flan! What more does she want?
你差点害我没了500块
You almost blew my shot at 500 bucks.
别担心
Don't worry.
我说服戏剧老师再给你一次机会
I convinced the drama teacher to give you another chance.
我要说一些话
I'm about to say something,
如果你告诉别人我会否认
and if you tell anyone, I will deny it.
但这是事实
But this is the truth.
其实你是有天赋的歌♥手
You're actually a talented singer.
-真的 -是的
- Really? - Yes.
我之所以逼着你去面试
And the reason why I'm pushing you so hard to audition
因为我觉得加入学校音乐剧
is because I think ‭joining the school musical
对你有好处
would be good for you.
重点不是钱
It's not about the money anymore.
而是看到你开心
It's about seeing you happy.
你只需要努力
You just need to get out of your own way
抓住机会
and take a chance.
奥利弗·奥图
Oliver Otto.
我很久没喜欢过你了
I haven't liked you in, like, so long!
我听到你说的了
I heard what you said,
我深受感动
and I'm really, really impressed.
我只是做我的楷模跟我说过的
I was just doing what my role model told me.
我跟你说过吗
I told you that?
真的我想捏你的脸
Seriously, I could just pinch your cheeks
你现在太可爱了
you're so cute right now.
"如果你有麻烦就说如果你告诉任何人是我说的
"If you get into trouble, say, 'If you tell anyone I said this,
我会否认然后假装你说的是真话"
I will deny it,' then pretend you're telling the truth."
强尼·戴蒙德
Johnny...Diamond.
安娜凯特还...
Is Anna-Kat still --
早睡了
Not even close.
她一小时前就睡觉了
She went to bed like an hour ago.
你在哪里
Where were you?
看着南希的老公
Watching Nancy's husband
被有可能聘用的服务员驮着
get piggyback-rides from potential waiters.
参加社团的事怎么样了
How is everything going with joining a club?
别担心你不在奥利弗可以的
Don't worry. Since you're not here, Oliver's got it.
很好奥利弗是比我更好的妈妈
Great. Oliver's a better mom than me.
搞什么
What in the hell?!
格雷格
Greg!
你用完了我的特百惠
You used up all my Tupperware.
安娜凯特模仿你真是没得说
Wow, Anna-Kat's impression of you is uncanny.
这间房♥子里禁止出现水晶泥
Slime is a banned substance in this house!
还有腰果芝士豆子芝士
So is cashew cheese, soy cheese,
以及其他不是芝士的芝士
and any other cheese that's not cheese!
别冲着狗做"她是疯子"的表情
And stop giving the dog the "She's the crazy person" Look!
我能跟你谈谈吗
Can I talk to you for a second?
我忙着为十岁孩子的生日订购威士忌
I'm busy doing the whiskey order for a 10-year-old's birthday.
你让我处理安娜凯特的事
You asked me to handle the Anna-Kat situation,
我这样做了
and that's what I did.
顺便说下水晶泥管用她没那么紧张了
By the way, the slime worked. She's way less anxious.
甚至打包了正常的午餐
She even packed herself a sensible lunch.
-什么 -自封袋装的牛奶
- What was it? - A ziplock bag full of milk
三个猕猴桃但这是胜利
and three kiwis, but that's a win.
也许你不会选择用水晶泥去处理
Look, the slime may not be the way that you would've handled it,
但我选择这样做
but that's the way I chose to do it.
有没可能你冲我撒气
Is it possible you're taking your frustration out on me
因为你一直错过了安娜凯特的就寝时间
because you've been missing Anna-Kat's bedtime?
是格雷格你是我老公这是你的工作
Yes, Greg! You're my husband. That's the gig.
做出气筒在公众前支持我
Receiving misdirected anger and backing me up in public
哪怕我完全错了
even though I'm super, super wrong.
知道什么真正令我沮丧吗
You know what's really frustrating?
我花时间远离我的孩子
I'm spending all this time away from my kids
策划让另一个孩子痛苦的生日派对
to plan a birthday party that's making another kid miserable.
水晶泥好软
Oh. This slime is so soft.
感觉是湿的但其实不是
It feels wet, but it's not.
好放松
Hmm, so relaxing.
也许禁止水晶泥是错误的
Maybe I was wrong to ban slime.
腰果芝士依然可以下地狱
Cashew cheese can still go to hell.
瞧水晶泥是不是让一切好起来了
See? Doesn't slime make everything better?
会的
It will.
那是闪光水晶泥
That was glitter slime,
这会令铲屎官的工作更神奇
so this will make picking up poop a little more magical.
我被聘请策划孩子的生日派对
I was hired to throw a kid's birthday party,
所以这正是我做的
so that's exactly what I'm doing.
因为我的工作是确保客户
Because my job is to make sure the client is...
开心
...happy.
凯蒂好棒的派对
Hey, Katie, great party!
-凯蒂 -什么事
- Katie? - Yeah?
这是什么
What is this?!
这是水晶泥派对
It's a slime party.
我离开三小时
I leave for three hours
礼貌性地来迟参加女儿的生日派对
to be fashionably late to my daughter's birthday party,
回来看到这个
and I come back to this?!
我知道我没有执行你的主题
Listen, I know I didn't execute your theme,
但贝琪非常开心
but Becky is having the time of her life.
这不是最重要的事吗
Isn't that what's most important?
我要南希可乐达
I wanted a Nancy Colada!
我要打电♥话♥给你的老板炒掉你
I am calling your boss and I am getting you fired!
马修别再这样
Marshall, you cut that out right now,
否则等下我收拾你
or we're gonna do it later.
不
No.
今天的面试我会唱丹尼尔·帕德的歌♥
For my audition today, I'll be singing a song by Daniel Powter.
你站在队伍里遭遇了新的低谷