美式主妇

American Housewife S03E18

Part 3 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:58 p.m.

You're the only one here!
我以前会带狗来上班
I used to bring my dog to work,
但卫♥生♥部♥的人搞得紧张兮兮的
but the guy from the health department got all in a tizzy!
我去拿身份证
I'm gonna go get my ID.
还需要什么柏妮丝
Anything else you need, Bernice?
指纹血样
Fingerprints, blood samples?
要我尿在杯子里吗
You want me to pee in a cup?
厕所只限员工使用
Restrooms are for employees only.
公♥司♥规定
Company policy.
我真心不喜欢你柏妮丝
I really don't like you, Bernice.
我的是薄荷巧克力片
I got mint chip.
我没吃完想试试吗
Want to try it before I'm done?
这东西开了吗
Is this thing on?
真是差劲
This is the worst.
我不能拍冰淇淋的照片发到网上
I can't take a photo of my ice cream and post it.
吃它有什么意义
I mean, what's the point of just eating it?
请勿放入食物和饮料
斯宾塞的律师说我最好的选择就是脱离关系
Okay. Spencer's lawyer said my best option is to emancipate.
什么意思
What exactly does that mean?
他们放弃父母的权利
They give up their parental rights,
我在法律上就是成人了
and then, I'm legally an adult.
我就可以花钱买♥♥我想买♥♥的股票
Then, I can spend money on whatever stock I want.
你成为成年人后
And once you're legal,
你可以带我们去租车行租辆卡罗拉
you can take us to Enterprise and rent us a Corolla.
你有15辆玛莎拉蒂
You have, like, 15 Maseratis.
你为什么要租车
Why would you want to rent a car?
有时候像平民一样生活很好玩
Sometimes, it's just fun to live like a normie.
我是这样称呼你们的
That's what I call you guys.
我知道谢谢
Yeah, I got that. Thank you.
这上面说要脱离关系
It says here, in order to emancipate,
你父母必须签字同意
your parents have to sign off on it.
或你带他们去法庭让法官决定
Or you could take them to court, and let a judge decide.
好
Okay.
就像斯宾塞说的
Like Spencer said,
我必须用尽一切手段
I have to do whatever I have to do.
要无情
Be ruthless.
你想知道我怎么赚到第一个一百万吗
You want to know how I made my first million?
我无法想象我想知道
I can't imagine I want to hear this.
6岁时打迷你高尔夫赢了我爸
I beat my dad in mini-golf when I was 6.
见鬼
Damn it.
钥匙在泰勒手上
Taylor's got the keys.
我没有手♥机♥
And I don't have my phone!
知道吗
You know what?
我去找她们
I'll just find them.
打扰了你看到我女儿经过吗
Excuse me, did you happen to see my daughters walk by?
这么高的金发这么高的深色头发
A blonde about this tall and a brunette about this tall?
你有照片吗
Do you have a picture?
多的是
I have like 1,000,
但在手♥机♥上我没带
but they're on my phone, and I don't have it.
为什么
Oh. Why not?
我想给孩子做好榜样
Because I'm trying to set a good example for my kids
不要依赖手♥机♥
by not relying on phones.
真的有道理
You know what, that's a good point.
我花了太多时间在手♥机♥上
I've been spending too much time on my phone.
不是手♥机♥也是电视平板
And if it's not my phone, it's my TV or my iPad,
还有电脑
and then, there's the computer.
你知道那些手表吗
Oh, and do you know about these watches?
我没时间
I don't have time for this.
你先和我说话的女士
Hey, you started talking to me, lady!
试试这个
Try one on!
我不想
Nah, I'm good.
给
Here.
完美
Perfect.
你像《头脑特工队》里的忧忧
You look like Sadness from "Inside Out."
我们贴配对的假睫毛吧
We should do matching fake eyelashes!
天啊希望妈作弊用她的手♥机♥
God, I hope Mom's cheating and using her phone
这样我就有新手♥机♥了
so I can get a new one.
你能十分钟不想手♥机♥的事吗
Can you stop worrying about your phone for 10 minutes?
你也应该希望她作弊
You should hope she's cheating, too,
这样你就有手♥机♥了
so you get one, as well.
我不想要手♥机♥
I don't want one.
那你为什么总是偷我的手♥机♥
Then why do you keep stealing mine?
我不是因为想要手♥机♥才偷的
I wasn't stealing it because I wanted a phone!
你太傻了
You are so stupid!
我今天傻的唯一原因
The only reason I'm stupid today
因为没手♥机♥让我聪明起来
is because I don't have a phone to be smart for me!
你来道歉吗
Have you come to apologize?
不
No.
但考虑并咨♥询♥法律顾问后
But after consideration and some counsel,
我做出了决定
I made a decision.
如果你不给我买♥♥股票
If you don't buy that stock for me,
我将被迫带你和妈去法庭
I'm gonna be forced to take you and Mom to court
和你们脱离关系
to get myself emancipated.
脱离...
Emanci--
反着来
Do the opposite.
脱离关系我知道了
Emancipated. I see.
恐怕你让我别无选择
I'm afraid you've left me no choice.
好的
Okey dokey.
就这样
That's it?
当然了
Yes Siree Bob.
那我们法庭见
I guess I'll see you in court, then.
除非我先见到你
Not if I see you first.
蛋糕好了
Here's the cake.
我为你装起来
Let me box it for you.
很遗憾我的钱包锁在了车里
So, unfortunately, my wallet is locked in the car,
钥匙在我女儿手上
and my daughter has the keys.
你不能打电♥话♥给她吗
Can't you call her?
不能
No. I can't.
我没手♥机♥
I don't have a phone.
对
Oh, right, right.
也许你能发邮件给她
Ooh, maybe you could shoot her an e-mail.
再说一遍不行柏妮丝我没有...
Again, I can't, Bernice, because I don't have --
我知道你在干嘛
I see what you're doing.
欢迎来到柏妮丝蛋糕店
Welcome to Bernice's Cakes.
这是我的地盘
This is my house!
柏妮丝你就帮帮我吧
Bernice, could you just give me a break, here?
如果我十分钟内不把蛋糕送到宝宝送礼会上
If I don't get this cake to a baby shower in 10 minutes,
我可能会失业
I could lose my job.
如果没有身份证我就把蛋糕给出去
If I give this cake away without proper ID,
我可能会失业
I could lose my job!
你是老板
You own the place!
你那是炒掉自己
You'd be firing yourself!
这是公♥司♥规定
It's company policy!
不好意思
Excuse me.
柏妮丝蛋糕店我是柏妮丝
Bernice's Cakes. Bernice speaking.
站住
Hey, stop!
是个女孩
It's a girl!
怎么了
What's going on?
你从来不想一起玩
You never want to hang out.
你忙着你的手♥机♥
You're so busy on your phone,
给所有人点赞除了我
giving likes to everyone but me.
我喜欢你
I like you.
你的表现不是
You don't act like it.
所以我偷你的手♥机♥
That's why I steal your phone.
只有这样你才会注意我
It's the only way you'll give me any attention.
我17岁你9岁所以我...
I'm 17. You're 9. So, I'm...
8岁
Eight...
比你大8岁
...eight years older than you.
现在我们处于生活中的不同阶段
We're just at different stages of our lives right now.
但我们是姐妹
But we're sisters.
8年不算什么
Eight years is nothing