美式主妇

American Housewife S03E05

Part 4 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:57 p.m.

That's a dog chew toy.
不是的
No, it's not.
这是外星人的眼球
It's an alien eye.
我的狗就有那个咬咬玩具
My dog has that chew toy.
也许你的狗找到了外星人的眼球
Well, maybe your dog found an alien eyeball.
它没有那是咬咬玩具
He didn't. That's a chew toy.
你的狗找失踪孩子的水平怎样
How's your dog at finding missing kids?
凯蒂
Um...Katie?
这不是你保证的超级吓人的活动吧
This isn't the big scary thing you promised, is it?
不是
No.
这只是吓跑胆小的
This is to just weed out the wimps.
等不及想看看你的安排
Can't wait to see what you have planned.
詹妮弗
Hey, Jennifer!
我也想看
Me, too.
邻居
Hey, neighbor!
维芙你来做什么
Viv, what are you doing here?
烦着你我很内疚
I felt bad about pestering you,
所以我来帮助以此补偿你
so I want to make it up to you by helping.
真的
Seriously?
我也不想一个人过万圣节
I also don't want to be alone on Halloween.
所有孩子都只要糖
All the kids ask about is candy.
根本不重视我
It's never about me.
我请来
Well, the woman I hired
扮女巫端果汁的女人
to dress up as a witch and serve punch
病了
called in sick.
如果你想做的话
If you want to do that --
-我愿意 -说清楚
- I love it! - To be clear,
帮助我不代表我会养你的孩子
helping me does not mean I'm raising your child.
但如果你不爱我的宝宝
But if you won't love my baby,
谁会呢
who will?
我们去找衣橱间玩"七分钟天堂"
Let's go find a closet for "Seven minutes in heaven."
当然
Definitely.
你弄痛我的手了
Um, you're kind of hurting my hand.
我们玩八分钟
We're gonna make it eight minutes.
我没意见
Sounds good to me.
兄弟如果我慌了怎么办
Oh, man. What if I panic?
记住我们练习的就行
Just remember what we practiced.
假装她是我在你房♥间戴着胸罩
Pretend she's me in your room in a bra.
兄弟你总是那么会安慰人
Dude, you always know what to say.
我知道现在不合适
Uh, I know this isn't the best time,
但我还有一个和宝宝有关的问题
but I have one more baby-related question.
不行他们不能坐车的前排
No, they cannot ride shotgun.
不我是在想
Actually, no, I was just wondering --
羊水破了后我要做什么
what do I do when my water breaks?
我们得送你去医院
We have to get you to the hospital!
我走不动我走不动
I can't move! I can't move.
要生了马上要生了
It's coming! It's coming now!
-要生了 -我的天
- It's coming now! - Oh, my God!
快打911
Call 911!
天啊
Oh, God!
过来维芙让开
Come here, Viv! Move!
让开让开
Move! Move!
紧急情况
We got an emergency!
来吧维芙
Come on, Viv.
上去
‭Get up here.
-呼吸 -我来协助
- Okay, breathe! - I'm here to assist.
滚变♥态♥
Get out of here, you perv!
值得试试
Worth a shot.
随便哪个衣橱间都行吗
Can we use any closet?
有没有特定的
Is there a specific closet?
要不要预约
Should I have made a reservation?
你确定想这样做
You sure you want to do this?
你这是同意了
So, that's a yes.
哥们你妈需要你
Dude! Your mom needs you.
紧急情况
It's an emergency.
她说拿毛巾
And she said to bring towels.
你能说好话让我协助吗
Also, could you put in a word for me to assist?
现在做剖腹是不是太迟了
Is it too late for a C-section?!
是我能看到头了
Yes!! I can see the head!
推回去拿刀来
Push it back in, and go get a knife!
-别看 -太迟了
- Don't look. - It's too late.
用力维芙
Push, Viv.
呼吸维芙
Breathe, Viv!
你要见到你的孩子了
You're about to meet your baby!
我不要孩子
I don't want a baby!
我要包包
I want a purse!
再用力维芙
One more push, Viv.
是个女孩
It's a girl.
奥利弗毛巾
Oliver, towel.
毛巾
Towel!
我九岁时看《午夜凶铃》就是这种感觉
This is how I felt when I saw "The Ring" When I was 9.
太早了
Too soon.
我一直知道你会陪着我
I always knew that you'd be there for me.
看我们的孩子
Now look at our baby.
你的孩子
Aww, your baby.
全部是你的
All yours.
她真小
She's so tiny.
是
Yeah.
她真漂亮她是不是很漂亮
And she's so beautiful. Isn't she beautiful?
是的很漂亮
Yes, she is.
虽然没妈妈漂亮但是
I think she's not as beautiful as her mama, but...
太厉害了
I gotta hand it to you.
什么意思
What do you mean?
女巫生下恶魔孩子
A witch giving birth to a demon baby?
太棒了
Amazing.
看上去好真实
It looked so real.
还没结束
And it's not over yet.
假的救护车马上会到
A fake ambulance is gonna pull up
接这个假孩子去假医院
and take this fake baby to a fake hospital.
不知道为什么叫生命的奇迹
I don't know why they call it the miracle of life.
太恶心了一直有这种声音
It is so gross, and so much of this sound.
你肯定累坏了不如上♥床♥休息
You must be exhausted. Wh-Why don't you go to bed?
不
Nope.
我要等泰勒回家
I'm staying up until Taylor gets home.
她还有20秒
She has 20 seconds
就是我对你错
until I'm right, you're wrong,
她被抓现行
and she's busted.
不她现在会回家
Oh, no, no. She's coming home right now.
现在
I mean, now!
倒数三二一
In 3, 2, 1.
见鬼看来你...
Crap. I guess you're --
她回来了
‭She's home.
她准时回家了
She's home, and she's on time.
但情况如何呢
Yeah, but in what condition?
我去睡觉了
I'm just gonna go to bed.
你在派对上做了什么
What did you do at the party?
和朋友们一起玩
I just hung out with my friends.
-只是玩 -等等
- She just hung out. - Wait.
先别走现在还早
Wait, before you go, the night is still young.
我们玩"西蒙说"的游戏
Let's play a game of "Simon Says."
-真的吗 -很好玩的
- Really? - It'll be fun.
西蒙说用食指碰鼻子
Simon says touch your nose with your index finger.
西蒙说走直线走到我面前
Simon says walk towards me in a straight line,
脚尖碰脚趾
heel to toe.
西蒙说倒着背字母表
Simon says say the alphabet backwards.
R
Um...R --
好的算了去睡觉
Okay, forget it. Go to bed.
你为什么那么难相信
Why is it so hard for you to see
你女儿做了正确的事
that your daughter did the right thing?
我不知道
I don't know.
如果她做错了什么