美式主妇

American Housewife S03E05

Part 1 Dec. 9, 2019, 7:57 p.m.

在做什么
Whatcha working on?
我在想可怕的点子
I need scary ideas
詹妮弗·艾斯托尼的年度鬼屋派对需要
for Jennifer Estony's annual haunted-house party.
我想的点子全被她否决了
She shot down everything that I've come up with so far.
好的这个怎么样
Okay, how about this.
想想我就发抖
Gives me shivers just thinking about it.
让某人扮成
Get someone to dress
学者托马斯·马尔萨斯的鬼魂
as the ghost of scholar Thomas Malthus.
让他指责孩子们
Then get him to shame the kids
没有注意他警告的
for not heeding his warning
人口增长的危险
about the dangers of population growth.
亲爱的我爱你
Honey, I love you,
我知道我们会共度此生
and I know we're gonna be together forever,
但这样的时刻令我担心
but moments like this do worry me.
我能在万圣节去西拉·约翰逊家
Can I go to a party at Sierra Johnson's house
参加派对吗
on Halloween night?
-她父母在吗 -在
- Are her parents going to be there? - Yeah.
-会有酒吗 -没有
- Will there be any drinking? ‭- No.
你叫什么名字
What's your name?
泰勒
Taylor.
设立一个基准
Just establishing a baseline
给妈妈测谎仪使用
for my mommy lie detector.
我没意见规定时间到家就行
Fine by me. Just be home by curfew.
太棒了谢谢你爸
Yay! Awesome! Thanks, Dad.
看你
Look at you,
不和我商量就做决定
making decisions without consulting me
就这样做了
just like that.
你说了你重新工作
You said with you going back to work,
你希望我更多参与到孩子的教育中
you wanted me to take a more active role with the kids,
我读懂了状况做了决定
so I read the situation, and I made the call.
我得说感觉太好了
‭I gotta say, feels good.
我看起来高点了吗我感觉高了一点
Do I look taller? I feel taller.
天啊
Oh, God.
从现在开始
Hey, from now on,
你们能告诉我把钥匙藏在哪里吗
could you guys just tell me where you hide your key?
我在花坛里挖
I had to dig through the flower bed,
我的背好痛
and my back is killing me.
你为什么不按门铃
Why didn't you just ring the doorbell?
因为我通过窗户
Because it hurts my feelings
看到你藏在沙发后
when I look through the window
我会伤心
and see you hiding behind the sofa.
你今天来了四次了
This is the fourth time you've come over today.
这次又是什么事维芙
What do you need now, Viv?
我需要做妊娠检查
I need another pregnancy check-in.
我的乳♥头♥变得特别大这正常吗
I'm mostly nipple now. Is that normal?
好吧我去书房♥
O-kay. I'll be in my study.
太正常了
It's totally normal.
这是你的身体在准备好做妈妈
It's just your body preparing to be a mommy.
让它停下
Well, tell it to stop!
毁了很多我花钱
It's screwing up stuff
花时间变成完美的部位
that I spent a lot of time and money perfecting.
没事了吧维芙我很忙
Is that it, Viv? Because I'm kinda busy.
还有事还有三周
Actually, no, I've got three weeks
就是剖腹产时间
until my scheduled C-section.
我感觉超级孤单
I am feeling super lonely.
孩子他爸呢那个猪语者
Where is your baby daddy, the Pig Whisperer?
他保证会回来
He promised he'd come back to town,
但他离开我了根本靠不住
but he's been so unreliable since he left me.
所以猪语者肯定不会回来
So, the Pig Whisperer is definitely not coming back?
真是猪
Ugh, swine!
你为孩子出生做好了准备吗
Have you made preparations for the baby's arrival?
我还没布置好育儿室
No, I haven't set up the nursery
什么也没买♥♥
or even bought anything yet
因为我不知道要期待什么
'cause I don't really know what to expect. ‭
我给了你一本书
I gave you a book called
《孕期完全指导》[在你期待时要期待什么]
"What to Expect When You're Expecting."
我不擅长看书学习
I'm not a good reading learner!
我更会通过闺蜜谈话学习
I'm more of a girl-talk learner.
我希望我们能来次婴儿知识填鸭式教学
So I was hoping we could do a baby cram session together.
维芙我现在很忙
Viv, I've got a full plate right now
要策划鬼屋派对
trying to plan this haunted-house party.
求你了我只需要基本知识
Please! I just need the basics.
宝宝出生后会怎样
Like, after the baby comes out, then what?
好
Fine. ‭
我去看看地下室有什么过去的婴儿用品
I'll see what old baby items I have in the basement
给你一节速成课
and give you a crash course.
要不要来点香槟有意思一点
Should we get some champagne and make this fun?
你不能喝酒维芙
You can't drink, Viv.
我知道
I know!
美式主妇第三季第五集
我非常期待你我还有吉娜
I'm so excited for you, me, and Gina
去参加艾斯托尼家的鬼屋派对
to go to the Estony haunted-house party.
你不担心电灯泡的问题吗
So, you're not worried about the whole third-wheel thing?
不担心
No.
兄弟吉娜永远不可能成为我们的电灯泡
Dude, Gina will never be a third wheel with us.
你怎么样
How's you're day going?
那是谁
Who is that?
两位这是我的表亲阿德里亚娜
Hey, guys, meet my cousin Adriana.
原来这就是西港男生
So, these are the Westport boys?
这是我的男友奥利弗
This is my boyfriend, Oliver.
那么这个是我的
So, this one's for me, huh?
什么我是说是吧
What? I mean, I guess.
我是说
I mean...
你好姑娘
Hola, chica.
我告诉了她明天的万圣节派对
So, I told Adriana about the Halloween party tomorrow,
-她也想去 -对
- and she wants to tag along. ‭- Yeah.
我们找个衣橱间
We'll find a closet
玩"七分钟天堂"
and play "Seven minutes in heaven."
好
Okay.
到时见
We'll see you guys there.
七分钟
Seven minutes?
好长时间
That's a long time.
不会有事的
We'll be fine.
我们只需要准备好
We -- We just need to be prepared.
有没有入门级衣橱间也许三分钟
Is there a beginner's closet, maybe three minutes?
这是电动摇椅
This is an electric rocker thingy.
你需要它
You'll need it
这样你坐下双手捧脸痛哭时
so you don't have to hold the baby
不用抱着宝宝
when you sit down and cry into both hands.
记住如果有问题
Remember, if anything goes wrong,
如果宝宝有疹子胀气或是泪腺堵塞
if they get a rash, gas, or a clogged tear duct,
用母乳
use breast milk.
可以搞定所有
It clears everything up.
母乳
Breast milk? ‭
知道
Got it. ‭
我在哪里弄到母乳
Where do I get that?
从你的胸部
From...your breasts!
不
Oh, no!
我刚让它们成为我想要的样子
I just got them how I want them.
要知道
You know, um...
你这里已经为孩子准备好了
you're already set up for children over here.
我不会养你的孩子维芙
I am not raising your baby, Viv.
好
Fine.
不是我
Not it!
你不能对孩子用"不是我"这招维芙
You can't "Not it" A baby, Viv.
而且你说的时候没把手指放在鼻子上
Also, you didn't put your finger on your nose when you said "Not it."
-不是我 -不是我
- Not it! ‭- Not it!
为鬼屋派对想点子
Coming up with an idea for this haunted-house party
真是累死我了
is stressing me out.
我的天
Oh, my God.
知道谁有很多可怕的故事吗