政客

The Politician S01E08

Part 4 Nov. 28, 2019, 1:04 p.m.

...long...
魔鬼...
Devil's...
三角恋
Triangle.
你好我来找雪莉·道格尔
Hi, I'm looking for Sherry Dougal.
雪莉·道格尔
抱歉我是迈克菲·威斯布鲁克
Oh, sorry. I'm McAfee Westbrook,
我们通过电♥话♥
we spoke on the phone.
我是您新来的竞选工作人员
I'm your new campaign staffer.
我带你转转
I'll show you around.
参议员不怎么来办公室
The senator doesn't come to the office often.
实际上根本不来
Not at all really.
参议员不来她的竞选办公室吗
The senator doesn't go to her campaign office?
那是幕僚长的办公室不要进去
That's the chief of staff's office. Don't go in there.
这些是谁的办公室
Whose offices are these?
问题可真不少呢
Oh, someone's got a lot of questions.
那些办公室也不要进
Don't go in there either.
这是你的办公室那个是你的电脑
This is your office. That's your computer.
我们所有的选民数据都在里面所以千万
Our entire voter database is on there, so whatever you do,
千万不要拔插头
do not unplug it, okay?
密♥码♥是"实习生"
The password is "Intern."
你会操作视窗99系统吧
You know how to work Windows 99, right?
不会
No.
你自己摸索摸索就行了
You'll figure it out.
其实和视窗95系统一样
It's just like Windows 95.
迪迪·斯丹迪施
让纽约州政通令达
这些要送到27区所有的
These need to go out to all 300,000
三十万选民手中明白了吗
members of the 27th District, okay?
你只需要拿一张这个
So you just take one of these
然后把它贴到这上面去
and you put it on one of these.
好了多容易而且第一个我替你弄好了
Voilà. See? Easy. And I even did the first one for you.
选举是11月6日
Now, the election is November 6th,
我们需要这些邮件在10月的第一周寄到
so we want these in the mail the first week of October,
所以你还有时间
so you've got time.
你可以在桌子底下蜷起来打个盹随你便
You could curl up under the desk and take a nap for all I care,
只要你别去烦别的人就行
just don't bother anybody, okay?
厕所的钥匙在我的桌子上
Oh, the bathroom key is at my desk.
你拿着它去感应器上划一下
You take it and you swipe it against the sensor
门就开了
and the door unlocks.
等等这样就完了
Wait, that's it?
对是电子的玩意儿
Yeah, it's an electronic thing.
你一划门就开了
You swipe it, it unlocks the door.
不是我说的是这个邮寄广♥告♥
No, I mean this, the mailers.
竞选就是这个吗
This is the campaign?
对
Yeah.
可十月的第一周已经是
But the first week of October,
初选的两周以后了
that's two weeks after the primaries.
迪迪·斯丹迪施已经有20年不参加初选了
Dede Standish hasn't been primaried in 20 years.
她在普选时甚至连个竞争对手都没有
She won't even have an opponent in the general.
她邮寄宣传♥单♥页的唯一原因是
The only reason she's even mailing out a flyer
她所在的区有家速印社
is because there's an Instaprints
快被史泰博给打垮了
in her district that Staples is killing,
她愿意去帮助小型企业
and she likes to take care of small businesses.
我要去找你的老板
I wanna talk to your boss.
-你说什么 -我要去找哈达莎·戈尔德
- Excuse me? - Hadassah Gold, I wanna talk to her.
你不能去
Yeah, well, you can't.
我的天你要去哪
Oh, God. Where are you going?
我也不知道
Mmm. I dunno.
这个橙色可真正
This is very orange.
站住我的天
Stop! Jesus!
什么不行
What? No!
哈达莎实在抱歉
Hadassah, I'm so sorry!
-你是谁 -我是迈克菲·威斯布鲁克
- Who are you? - I'm McAfee Westbrook.
我是新来的竞选工作人员
I'm your new campaign staffer.
你停下来干什么
Why are you stopping?
-你叫什么 -迈克菲·威斯布鲁克
- Wha... What's your name? - McAfee Westbrook.
你... 你的名字居然是个姓啊
Oh, your... your first name is a last name?
我特讨厌这样
I hate that.
不是我给自己起的
I didn't name myself.
跟你说我刚刚有了个长孙
You know what? I just had my first grandson.
知道他们给他起的什么名字吗
You know what they named him?
凿子的意思
贾格尔
Jagger.
他们告诉我的时候我正抱着他在我怀里
I was holding him in my arms when they told me.
差点把他从窗户扔出去
nearly threw him out the window.
当然了我没扔那样太十恶不赦
I didn't, of course. That would be a heinous crime.
你这么冲进来想要干什么
What do you think you're doing barging in here like this?
首先呢简单说说我的背景
Okay, um, well, first a little background:
我刚刚从哥伦比亚毕业
I just graduated from Columbia
政♥治♥学和统计学的双学位
with a double major in PoliSci and Statistics.
我管你呢
I don't care.
而且我是三年就学完毕业了挺遭罪的
And I did it in three years, which sucked.
比如我每晚只睡三个小时
Like, I slept four hours a night,
我没朋友从来不出去玩
I had no friends, and I never went out.
谁管你呢亲爱的那是你的事
I don't care. Honey, that's on you.
你为什么要这样这主意是从哪来的
Why would you do such a thing? What gave you that idea?
因为我想为斯丹迪施参议员工作
Because I wanted to work for Senator Standish.
她是个聪明的女性杰出的政♥治♥家
She's a brilliant woman and a fantastic politician.
她改变了整个州政♥府♥
She turned the whole state government around.
全州的失业数字很高
Unemployment numbers statewide are high,
但我认为这是一个
but I see that as a marker of success
离开就业市场的人重新回到就业队伍的
as it indicates that people who've dropped out of the job market
成功标志
are returning to the workforce.
停我的天你说得太快了
Stop! Oh, my God, you talk way too fast.
可这不是21世纪的竞选啊
But this isn't a 21st century campaign.
-竞选 -这连20世纪的竞选都算不上
- Campaign? - This isn't even a 20th century campaign.
-竞选 -这就像是18世纪末的竞选
- Campaign? - This is a late 18th century campaign.
行了
Okay!
让我来给你说说清楚
Allow me to break it down for you a little.
首先别糊弄我
First of all, don't bullshit me.
没有谁会早上醒了张嘴就说
Nobody wakes up and says,
"我要为一位州参议员工作"
"Ooh, I want to work for a state senator."
你想要去国会山或者白宫工作
You want to work on Capitol Hill or the White House,
你觉得这份工作是个跳板
and you think this job is a stepping stone.
不... 不是...
No... No...
我还没给你说说清楚完呢
I'm not done breaking it down for you.
请让我再给你说说清楚
Please allow me to further break it down for you.
我们没有开展
The reason we don't have
好几百万美元的连任竞选
a multimillion-dollar reelection campaign
是因为我们根本不需要
up and running is because we don't need one.
迪迪·斯丹迪施永远都在没有对手的情况下参选
As per forever and a day, Dede Standish is running unopposed.
为什么她战无不胜
Why is she running unopposed?
因为事实证明她的所作所为
Because she has a proven record of accomplishments
与选民的想法不谋而合
that resonate with the voter.
我们又是怎么做到的呢
How did we get that record?
我们倾尽全力
By putting all our efforts
专注于执政而非大兴竞选
into governing as opposed to campaigning,
让竞选不再成为必要明白了吗
thereby obviating the very need for a campaign. You see?
这就是禅宗里先有鸡还是先有蛋的道理
It's one of those Zen Buddhist chicken and egg type situations.
我不管你怎么想
I don't care about your opinions.
也不管你上了什么名校
I don't care about what fancy school you went to
在校期间错过了多少个男生
or how many boys you didn't bang while you were there.
只要你过了
As long as you got a passing grade...
给传♥单♥上贴标签的第一课
in Affixing a Label to a Flyer 101,
我就允许你回到你的办公室
I will allow you to go back to your office
做你被雇及授命该做的事
and do what you were hired to do and told to do,
作为回报我会给你一封
and in return, I will write you
拿得出手的推荐信
a very nice letter of recommendation
让你得到一次在华盛顿实习的机会
for your next internship in Washington,
毫无疑问会是K街[政♥治♥中心]的游说集团
which will undoubtedly be in a lobbying firm on K Street.
现在请你离开我的办公室
Now please exit my office,
并且永远闭上你的嘴
and never utter a word in my vicinity again.
明白了