政客

The Politician S02E01

Part 1 June 22, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

霍巴特竞选州参议员
当我们询问
When we asked,
"您认为像迪迪·斯丹迪施这样的
"Do you believe career politicians
资深政客在代表奥尔巴尼市第27区方面
like Dede Standish have done a good job
是否做出了很好的政绩"这个问题时
representing the 27th District in Albany?"
33%的人回答是 38%回答否
It was 33 percent yes, 38 percent no,
14%无法决定
14 undecided,
15%没有看法
15 no opinion.
-很好 -意味着对她不利对我们有利
- That's very good. - Meaning bad for her, good for us.
我明白这点完全不需要解释
Yep, I gathered that. Totally did not need to clarify.
但当我们询问
But when we asked,
"您认为佩顿·霍巴特的经历是否能让他
"Do you believe Payton Hobart has the experience
代表奥尔巴尼市第27区"这个问题时
to represent the 27th District in Albany?"
数字下降到21%答是
it dropped to a 21 percent yes,
44%否
44 percent no,
22%无法决定 13%没有看法
22 undecided, and 13 no opinion.
可那是完全不同的问题
Okay, but that's a very different question.
等等 "无法决定"和"没有看法"是一回事啊
Hold on. That's the same thing, "undecided" and "no opinion."
不不一样
No, it's not.
天啊真烦人
Oh, God! God damn it!
我做了那么多次的热情握手
I've done so much glad-handing
以致于我们一半的竞选经费都花在了消毒液上
that we've spent half of our campaign budget on hand sanitizer.
你就准备让水都流光还是...
Are you just gonna let all this spill out, or...?
那为何在就剩一个月的时候我们还落后十来个点
So, why are we ten-something points down with a month to go?
迪迪·斯丹迪施享有三十年的知名度
Dede Standish has 30 years of name recognition.
关键还是在于投票率
It's all about turnout.
纽约州参议员选举的投票率
Turnout in elections for New York State Senate
一般只有2%
tend to be as low as 2 percent.
只有六千人最终投票
As few as 6,000 people will even cast their ballots,
就是说决定这场竞选结果的也就是一百张选票
which means this race can be determined on, like, 100 votes.
如果你直接去搞定那些
You could win if you just go after those people
回答说"我不知道"的人你就可能赢得选举
who've answered the poll with "I don't know."
而且我们知道他们都是谁我们有他们的电♥话♥
And we know who they are. We have their phone numbers.
哪里有回答"我不知道"的人啊
There weren't any "I don't knows"!
对啊詹姆斯
That's right, James,
因为你询问大家意见的方式
because you asked everyone for
让人非常难以理解
their opinions in a really confusing way.
-也许我还是去给大家买♥♥点咖啡吧 -谢谢
- Maybe I'll just get us coffees, then. - Thank you.
我们落后十来个点
The reason why we are ten-something points behind
而不是领先十来个点的原因
and not ten-something points ahead
是因为你手里有一个
is because you have a nuclear bomb
叫作"三人行"的核武器
with the word "throuple" written on it,
而你拒绝把它放出来
and you refuse to drop it, okay?
核武器的问题就在这詹姆斯
See, that's the thing with a nuclear bomb, James.
扔出武器的那一边会显得吃相难看
It's not a very good look for the side that drops it, okay?
我不想要一场手段肮脏的竞选
I won't run a dirty campaign
去攻击对手的私生活
that attacks my opponent's personal life.
我是有想法的候选人
I am the ideas candidate.
那你最好习惯习惯
Well, then you'd better get used to
我们要输的这个想法
the idea that we are going to lose.
要不咖啡就算了我还是明天再来吧
Maybe instead of coffee, I'll just see you all tomorrow?
麻烦你拿个拖把好吗
Will you please get a mop?
我要个椒盐脆饼
I need a pretzel
再要个鸡肉沙拉
and I need a-- a chicken salad
还要一瓶佳得乐...
and I need a Gatorade...
算了吧
Forget it.
大家立起身子不要坐在座上我们开始
People, let's get up, off the saddle. Here we go.
右左右
Right, left, right.
大家稳定住臀部
Stabilize those hips, people.
第三通道有顾客等待...
Lane three, customer waiting...
我知道你是谁你为什么跟着我
I know who you are. Why are you following me?
有兴趣和我吃午饭吗
Can I interest you in lunch?
霍巴特竞选州参议员
让纽约重回正轨
我要见佩顿·霍巴特
I want to speak to Payton Hobart.
别骗我说他不在
And don't lie and say he's not here.
告诉他我是安德鲁
Tell him it's Andrew.
那行你贵姓
Uh, okay. Andrew...?
没有姓就是安德鲁
No last name. Just Andrew.
像雪儿那样
Like Cher.
我说话时他们根本不听
And it's like when I talk, they don't even hear me.
并不是偶然的他们刻意不去听
And it's not an accident. They're actively not listening.
我这一辈子都遇到这样的情况
I've been dealing with that my whole life.
做女人就是这样
It's called being a woman.
我讨厌数学
I hate math,
我在加州大学圣克鲁兹分校花了好几年学习数论
and I spent years at UC Santa Cruz studying number theory.
知道为什么吗
You know why?
因为我迷上了英菲尼蒂
Because I'm obsessed with Infinity.
名字的意思是数学中的无穷大
你是说那个人吗
Do you mean the person?
当然笨蛋
Yes, dumbass.
我无时无刻不想她
I can't stop thinking about her.
我没完没了地撸可没用
I jerk it all the time, and it doesn't help.
我试了各种办法
I've tried everything.
无意义的交往很多比我大的女人
Empty affairs, a lot of older women.
还玩过些男的捆绑调♥教♥施虐受虐之类的
Effed some guys, too, some BDSM shit.
都没用
Nothing works.
我爱上她了
I'm in love with her.
那你来这干什么
So, why are you here?
我来为你工作啊废物你觉得呢
I came to work for you, asshat. What do you think?
你的竞选要完蛋了
Your campaign's in the toilet.
听着...
Listen...
我就直截了当地问你
I am just gonna come right out to ask:
不如你来为我们工作吧
why don't you come and work for us?
但不是"在明面上"为我们工作
But not "officially" work for us.
你怎么来帮助我们呢
And how are you gonna help?
你们是有多蠢啊
How thick are you assholes, anyway?
我要让斯丹迪施竞选办公室聘用我
I'm gonna get myself hired by the Standish campaign.
你们需要的是...
What you need is--
一个内线
A mole?
你干什么费这个劲你都领先十个点了
Why would you even bother? You're, like, ten points ahead.
我们就是凭这些个伎俩才能领先十个点
Shit like this is how we stay ten points ahead.
你怎么能让她们雇佣你呢
How you gonna get hired?
他们会知道我们是高中同学
They'll know we went to high school together.
那又如何
So what?
我会告诉她们你不怎么样我恨你本来也是
I'll tell them you suck and I hate you. Because I do.
那你为什么要那么做呢
And why would you do that?
我为什么要那么做呢
And why exactly would I do that?
因为你的才能完全被
Because your talents are totally ignored
一个让人无法忍♥受的妄自尊大的家伙给忽视了
by a-- an insufferable little megalomaniac
我们说实话吧他根本不知道自己在做什么
who, really, let's face it, doesn't know what he's doing.
再说一次英菲尼蒂不回我的电♥话♥
Again, Infinity won't return my calls,
她的短♥信♥就是说 "我真的很忙"
and her texts are, like, "I'm really busy,"
还有"别再发信息给我了我们是不可能的"
and, "Please stop texting me. It's never gonna happen."
这些互相矛盾的信息
All these mixed messages.
我很想知道你和你父亲的关系
I'm curious about your relationship with your father.
-为什么 -我知道他在监狱
- Why? - I know he's in prison,
但在那之前呢
but what about before that?
他是...
Was he...
非常自我吗有点冷血
an egoist? A little cruel?
这不关你的事
That's none of your business.
他有点妄自尊大对吧
He was a bit of a megalomaniac, wasn't he?
我拒绝坐在这听你说这种话
I refuse to sit here and listen to this.
但这听着挺熟悉吧
But it sounds familiar, doesn't it?
一个只顾自己的反♥社♥会♥变♥态♥狂
A sociopath who's only in it for himself?
让你感觉自己
Who makes you feel exactly as small
如想象的那样一文不值
as you believe yourself to be?
人性真难以捉摸对吧阿斯特丽德
Funny how we do that, isn't it, Astrid?
我会告诉他们你找过我
I'm gonna tell them you approached me.
别再跟踪我了
Don't follow me again.
你赢了那次竞选阿斯特丽德
You won that election, Astrid.
校长告诉我的他们统计了票数你胜出了
The principal told me. They counted the ballots. You won.