金色年代

The Goldbergs S02E10

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2019, 8:11 p.m.

我去把我的牛仔夹克的袖子剪掉
I'm gonna go cut off the sleeves of my jean jacket,
你去找一些皮背心
you go gather up some leather vests,
一定让她鼻子气歪
and that'll really stick it to her!
我哥和我自欺欺人时
While my brother and I were fooling ourselves,
我爸和老爷子希望通过伪造
my dad and pops were hoping to fool my mom
我们以前的手工品放进一样的箱子
by forging our old artwork and putting it
来欺骗我妈
in a duplicate trunk.
可以了
There you go.
和真迹一样好
Good as the real thing.
这是什么
The hell is this?
你说亚当画的是土豆之家
You said Adam drew a potato family.
不是真正的土豆只是土豆形状
Not actual potatoes! Potato-shaped!
他们在农场做什么
And what are they doing on a farm?
不然土豆之家能住哪里
Where else would a potato family live?
画得太好了应该画得很烂
It's too good! It's supposed to be awful.
我们得用一些东西装满这箱子
Well, we gotta fill up this trunk with something,
而我们只有一些通心粉项链
and all we got is a few macaroni necklaces,
蓝色香蕉以及这亮晶晶的东西
a blue banana, and this glittery thing.
应该写成"我爱你巴巴" 巴巴
It's supposed to say, "I love you babby." Babby!
巴巴是什么鬼东西
What the hell is a babby?
我是巴巴
I'm the babby!
太漂亮了重来写丑些
It's too good. Do it again, and do it worse.
我有天赋我没办法压抑
Hey, I got talent. I can't suppress it.
事实上如果你不要我的土豆之家
In fact, if you don't want my potato family,
也许《纽约客》杂♥志♥会要
perhaps "the new yorker" will.
我放弃了
I give up.
贝弗不可能被这些鬼东西骗到
There's no way Bevy's gonna believe this crap.
你打算怎么做
What are you gonna do?
我唯一能做的坦白结束这一切
The only thing I can do -- come clean and end this.
我爸希望她能欣然接受这一事实
My dad hoped she would take it well,
但她没有
but she didn't.
往好的一面看咱家车♥库♥干净了
Well, on the bright side, our garage is clean.
好吧你赢了
Okay, you win.
我不会再逼你扔任何东西了
I will never make you throw anything away again.
-保证吗 -是的
- Promise? - Yes!
从现在开始你想收藏什么废品都行
You can hoard whatever crap you want from now on.
你不会听到我有什么怨言
You won't hear so much as a grumble from me.
这只是开始
Well, that's a start.
现在我失陪了
Now if you'll excuse me,
我需要静静哀悼我今天死去的
I need to, uh, be alone to mourn the piece of my heart
一部分心灵
that died today.
我爸坦白交待我妈却耍了阴招
My dad came clean, but my mom was playing dirty.
为给我爸一个教训
To teach my dad a lesson,
她贿赂了搬运工将我们的手工品藏在了这里
she had paid the haulers to stash our art here.
每月的存放费用
Okay, so for the monthly storage cost,
我需要信♥用♥卡♥
I'm gonna need a credit card.
不加布
Mm, no, no, Gabe.
只能是现金交易
This will be a strictly cash transaction.
这样没有记录可查
No paper trail that way.
这样有些奇怪不过没关系
Um, that's kind of weird, but okay.
盒子里装的全是我孩子们的零零碎碎
See, I had all these pieces of my kids in these boxes,
有人却想从我这里夺走
and someone tried to take them away from me.
这样可不行对吗加布
We can't have that, can we, gabe?
那天我老妈的内疚牌打得太好了
That day, my mom's guilt trip worked a little too well.
我爸居然去了当地的垃圾场
My dad actually went down to the local dump
本着有志者事竟成的精神去找我们的手工品
and searched for our art with a can-do attitude.
老天看我们的舞蹈我们的线条好分明
Man, look at our moves! Our lines are so crisp.
让你好看爱丽卡
In your face, Erica!
慢着我糊涂了
Wait, I'm confused.
这个怎么是取笑爱丽卡的呢
How exactly is this a joke on Erica?
地面呼叫查德·克伦普
Um, earth to Chad Kremp.
这个叫恶搞就像怪人奥尔去查查吧
It's called a parody, like Weird Al. Look him up.
但怪人奥尔将歌♥改成了笑话
But Weird Al changes the song into a joke.
而这显然是两个超级粉丝
This is clearly a labor of love
心甘情愿做的
executed by two superfans.
显然对爱丽卡报复的全盘计划
So, apparently, that whole revenge plot on Erica?
情况出现了奇怪的转变
It took a strange turn.
看起来是这样的
It seems like it, yes.
-你要销毁这盒带子 -当然
- You need to destroy that tape! - For sure.
但我没有这可是我的杰作之一啊
But I didn't. That was some of my best work.
所以我把带子藏在了床下
So I hid it under my bed --
这一决定我很快就会后悔
A decision I would quickly regret.
大家听好了如果你要把握机会
* Listen up, everybody, if you wanna take a chance *
那就来到舞池跳起新街边男孩的舞蹈
* Just get on the floor and do the new kids dance *
什么也别担心
* Don't worry 'bout nothin' *
快来吧
Hey, come on in.
我们在举办影带首映派对
We're just having a little video premiere party.
不
No!
亚当你不是把带子销毁了吗
Adam, I thought you destroyed the tape.
我下不了手我们的线条好分明
I couldn't do it! Our lines were so crisp.
哥们这比爱丽卡的带子要糟糕多了
Dude, this is way worse than Erica's tape
至少她当时年纪小
'Cause at least she was, like, young...
而且是女生
And a girl.
对不起亚当我不想看
I'm sorry, Adam, I didn't wanna watch,
但我就是挪不开目光
but then I just couldn't look away.
我们看了四遍了
We've watched this video four times.
我们再看一遍
We're watching it again!
太棒了
Yes!
别这样
Guys, come on.
你把影带给我所有的朋友看
You showed that video to all my friends
-还有我的梦中情人 -还有我的女友
- and the girl of my dreams? - And my girlfriend!
在她恢复理智甩掉我之前
I can only take so many hits like that
我能出的丑是有限的
before she comes to her senses and dumps me.
你们把弹♥药♥送我手中还指望我怎样
I mean, you handed me the ammo. What did you expect me to do?
得了吧弹♥药♥一直在你手上
Oh, please! You've always had the ammo.
因为我们是地球上最好戏弄的对象
'Cause we're the easiest targets on the planet!
取笑亚当的弱视眼
Making fun of Adam for his lazy eye
他对棒球的无能
and his inability to hit a baseball,
他愚蠢的发型
and his stupid haircut.
-他的口臭 -行啦行啦
- His bad breath -- - Okay, okay, okay.
然后是我
And then there's me!
总是攻击我威胁到你的
Always gunning for one of my many awesome qualities
众多优良品质
that you feel threatened by.
就一次我们占了上风
Just once we had the upper hand.
我知道了你们可以出手
Oh, I see, so you can dish it out,
但挨打就受不了了
but you can't take it.
我们一直在挨打
We always take it!
你是我们的大姐你应该保护我们
You're our big sister. You're supposed to protect us,
但你总是让事情变得更糟
but you always just make things worse.
我姐感觉自己像垃圾时
While my sister was feeling like garbage,
我爸依然深陷其中
my dad was still knee-deep in it.
-开玩笑吧 -造化弄人
- You gotta be kidding me. - As fate would have it,
他意外发现了一盒孩子的画作
he stumbled upon a box of children's art.
太棒了
Yeah!
遗憾地是我爸完全不知道
Unfortunately, my dad had no freaking clue
这不是我们的
it wasn't ours.
这是怎么回事
Whoa, now. What's happening?
你不会相信我有多幸运老艾
You would not believe my luck, Al.
我去了垃圾场
I went down to the dump,
居然给我找到了其中一盒
and I actually found one of the boxes.
我把这些都装框了
And I had 'em framed.
我希望没花你太多钱
I really hope that wasn't expensive.
可贵了
Incredibly expensive.
起初我这样做
You know, at first, I was doing this
是不想贝弗永远用这事针对我
so Bev wouldn't hold it over me forever,
但我看到我孩子的画作后
but as I look at my children's art,
我意识到把这些扔掉是我错了
I realize I was wrong to throw it away.
好奇问下这是谁啊
Out of curiosity, who would this be?
这是我和沙发先生
Well, that's, uh, me, uh, and Mr. Chair.
什么时候沙发先生有轮子的
And since when does Mr. Chair have wheels?