凶宅处理专员（2021）

SurrealEstate S01E06

Part 4 Aug. 28, 2021, 6:57 p.m.

一起过来的
in the mid‐1800's.
他们给我们带来了幼儿园圣诞树和钟表匠
They gave us kindergarten and Christmas trees and Watchmakers.
大致来说是一种非常有条理的恶魔
Basically, it's a very methodical demon
以同样的方式非常精确的顺序
that does very bad things in the same way
做非常坏的事情
in a very precise order.
我们需要找到所有去过那此公开看♥房♥♥的人
We need to find all the people that went to that open house.
我们得警告他们我们得唬住他们
We need to warn them. We need to scare them,
如果有这个必要这是生死之事
if we have to ‐‐ it is literally life or death.
那会是个问题
That's gonna be a problem.
这是名册上的下一位
This is the next name in the book.
那是个名字吗
Is that even a name?
有电♥话♥吗邮箱呢
Is there a number? An email?
所以我们要警告一个无名无姓的人
So, we just need to warn a nameless, faceless person
他们会是一个无名无姓杀手的下一个受害者
that they're the next victim of a nameless, faceless killer.
我有我自己的麻烦
I have my own problems.
瑞斯
Reese?
是房♥地♥产♥的女士
It's the real estate lady!
是的
That is correct.
你好你能开一下门吗
Hi. Can you open the door?
当然
Sure.
泰勒梅斯
Taylor, Mase.
你没有打电♥话♥
You didn't call.
是吗不是吧是的
Yeah? No. Yeah!
那是顾问的意见
That was, uh, on advice of counsel.
乔普斯呢
How is Chops?
乔普斯说你需要搜查令
Chops says that you need a warrant.
我不是警♥察♥ 我不想要你的大♥麻♥
I'm not a cop! I don't want your weed.
不知道你说的这个"大♥麻♥"
Unaware of this, uh, "weed" you speak of.
瑞斯我只是需要照片好吗
Reese, I just need the pictures, okay?
拜托
Please?
我对你的老妈子腔调很失望
Oh, I'm getting real disappointed mom vibes from you
我已经有一个老妈了所以
and I already got one of those, so...
你得走了对不起没有照片
You're gonna need to go. Sorry. No pictures.
如果你
If‐‐ Yo‐‐
我很抱歉我讨厌这么做
I am so sorry, I hate to do this
尤其是你已经坐在我们的长椅上了
especially since you're already on our bench.
这个长椅没那么特殊
Oh, this bench isn't so special.
我可以跟任何坐下来的人作伴
I'll hang with anyone who sits down.
我们在黎明进攻
We attack at dawn!
放我走
Let me go!
他看起来不错
Oh, he seems nice.
你今晚有课吗
So, you have class tonight?
不我想我就在家休息
Nah, think I'll just chill at home.
有个很大的内分泌实验要开始了
Got a huge endocrinology lab coming up.
或许会去阁楼上和你妈妈来一场
Maybe head up to the attic and have a pillow fight
枕头大战
with your mom?
或者你可以帮我
Or, maybe you should help me...
找个新的住处
find a new place?
我会打给你的我保证
I'll call you. I promise.
再见
Goodbye.
那是坐落在令人向往的街区的非常宜居的房♥子
It's a lovely property in a desirable neighborhood,
卡拉巴萨斯先生但是现在的
Mister Calabasas, but the current‐‐
房♥客非常难相处
tenants are being difficult.
他们是寄生虫
They're parasites.
有钱的小屎壳郎
Overprivileged, little dung beetles
把我的房♥子当作...狗屎窝棚
who chose my property as... shit shack.
我试图赶走他们
I've tried to evict them.
现在我只想让他们成为别人的麻烦
Now, I just want them to be someone else's problem.
我们需要好看的照片来卖♥♥掉那个地方
We need great photos to sell the place.
然后我们会把房♥源"泄露"给精心筛选的投资者
Then we'll "Leak" the listing to a‐a curated list of investors
和家长他们想要一个好的学区房♥
and parents who want a great campus location,
或者收益性财产马上就能卖♥♥出去
or income property. It'll sell instantly.
我选对了代理人
I've chosen the right agent.
但这一切取决于照片
But it all starts with the photos.
不用花里胡哨空房♥间也可以
Nothing fancy, empty rooms is fine,
但他们不愿意
but they won't‐‐
你自己解决
You figure it out.
那些小绦虫在我的地盘上挖洞建窝的
The thought of those little tapeworms burrowing deeper
想法让我很烦恼我无法安心
into my portfolio vexes me. I can't rest.
先生你应该知道
Sir, you should know that‐‐
我对你很有信心爱尔兰女士
I have every confidence in you, Ms. Ireland.
再见
Goodbye.
我甚至不确定这些字母来自于
I'm not even sure these characters are from
现代英语字母表
the modern English alphabet.
佐伊法律问题要找谁
Zooey, who do we use for legal work?
等等你想找个律师对付那帮大学小子
Wait, you want to seek a lawyer on the frat guys?
我需要照片
I need the photos.
这绝对是错误的做法
That is the absolutely the wrong way to do it.
好吧一个问题
All right. One question:
你在大学期间有过或者用过熨斗吗
Did you ever own or operate an iron during college?
天然纤维需要适当的保养
Natural fabrics require proper care.
我们有答案了
We have our answer.
我只是需要律师的名字
I just need the name of the lawyer.
好吧听着我...
All right, look, I...
能不用律师帮你拿到那些照片
... can get you your photos without the lawyer.
就算你可以你为什么要帮我
Why would you, even if you could?
因为
Because
我
I am
很享受
loving the fact
你做不到
that you can't.
真有你的
Fabulous for you.
卢克
Hey, Luke.
你破解了那个鬼画符签名了吗
Any luck on the autograph of the damned?
没有奥古斯特建议试试黑进加布列的邮箱
Nope. August is trying to hack Gabriel's email,
看是否有什么消息
see if there's anything there.
又是个好主意
Another great idea.
我总是在公开看♥房♥♥日后发送跟进邮件
I always send out follow‐up emails for open houses.
交给我吧
I'm all over it.
听着我跟一个认识的人私下谈了
Look, I talked off‐the‐record to a guy I know.
一个凶案探员据他们所知
A homicide detective. As far as they're concerned,
这些都是意外事故
these are all accidents.
无论谁是幕后黑手他们很清楚受害者在哪
Whoever's doing this knows exactly where the victim is
并知道如何在任意时刻杀害他们
and how to murder them at any precise moment.
不是随时每隔三天
Not any moment. Three‐day intervals.
为什么不一次性杀了他们
Why not just knock them all off at once?
我告诉你这肯定是个钟表匠
I'm telling you, it's gotta be a Watchmaker.
无论是什么
Whatever it is,
我们都快没时间了
we're running out of time.
砰砰
Boom. Boom.
砰你没看到那个
Boom! You did not see that coming!
真厉害你能教我吗
Wow, that was awesome! Can you show me?
当然就是按B 左下上
Yeah. It's just, uh, B, left, down, up.
不好意思你是谁
I‐I'm sorry. Who are you?
我是佐伊
I'm Zooey.
我住在那边总之
I live, um, over there. Anyways, um...
我和室友安珀和茜拉
me and my roommates, Amber and Sheera,
我们在进行一个抖音挑战也就是我们
we were doing this Tik Tok challenge where we, like,
要在街区上的每幢房♥子的每个房♥间派对
party in every room in every house on the block.
听起来很费时间
Sounds like a lot of work.
天呐我知道对吧
Oh my god, I know, right?
我以为会很简单
Thought it was going to be, like, way easy.
我刚从隔壁过来
I just came from next door.
无意冒犯但他们好无聊
No offense, but they are, like, really boring.
我们要有趣得多
Well, we are way more fun.
如果你们真是通常不用说出来
If you are, you usually don't have to say that.
你们长得很帅
You guys are kind of cute.
我能发布你们跳觉醒之舞的视频吗
Can I post you doing the Wake Down dance?
很简单我的室友们会羡慕死
So easy and my roommates would, like, die.
当然
Ta, sure.
可以吗太好了让我连上你们的蓝牙
Yeah? Awesome! Let me hook up to your Bluetooth.