凶宅处理专员（2021）

SurrealEstate S01E04

Part 5 Aug. 16, 2021, 10:44 a.m.

但如果只有你们也可以
but they will settle for you!
完美
Oh, perfect.
我们什么都不能做吗
And there's nothing we can do?
能你们可以赶紧离开那里
Yeah! You can get out of there!
所以如果复仇心切的水手
So, if the vengeful sailors
不用海水灌满我们的肺并杀了我们
don't fill our lungs with seawater and kill us,
那网红就要放出他们的推特暴徒
the influencers will unleash their Twitter mob.
感觉像抛硬币
Kind of a coin toss.
我们要留下
We're staying.
你们要留下吗天呐好吧
You're staying? Oh, my god. Okay, um...
好吧好吧这是你们要做的
Okay, okay, okay. This is what I need you to do:
我需要你们找一个屋里
I need you to find a very big,
很大很亮的灯现在就去
very bright light in the house! Like right now!
你们能找到的最亮的东西
The brightest thing you can find --
聚光灯日光灯
a spotlight, a sunlamp --
然后拿到屋顶上去尽量高
and you need to get it up on the roof, as high as you can!
真的没有
There's really not--
你们得让自己看起来像个灯塔
You need to look like a lighthouse right now!
什么这就是你找到最亮的灯吗
Wha--? This is the brightest you found!?
它能发出三种颜色的光应该算个优点吧
It has a three-colour option. That has to count for something.
我们得把它拿到屋顶上
We have to get it up on the roof!
真的吗苏珊电线太短
Seriously? Susan, the cord is way too short!
肯定没法上屋顶
We'll never get it up there!
-在这等着 -什么
- Wait here. - What?
停船
Heave!
停船停船
Heave! Heave!
全员出动
All hands!
停船
Heave!
停船
Heave!
停船
Heave!
他们掉头了
Hey! They're turning!
苏珊他们掉头了
Susan, they're turning!
停船
Heave!
我们做到了
We did it!
那真是...
That was...
厉害
impressive.
不说真的我们可以
No, seriously, we could, like,
把你出租给维京葬礼
rent you out for Viking funerals.
如果这是部电影这时我会开始放
If this were a movie, this is where I'd bring in
手镯合唱团的《永恒之火》
Eternal Flame by The Bangles.
我已经看烦了你的脸
I'm getting really tired of looking at your face.
我卖♥♥♥房♥♥子经常有人这么说
I sell real estate. I get that all the time.
别烦我
Leave me alone.
每次我见到你
Every time I see you,
你都在这里
you're always in here.
从不在屋子的其他地方
Never in the rest of the house.
这里是日光房♥
This is the sunroom.
这是她的房♥间对吧
It was her room, right?
这是你为她建的房♥间
The room you built for her.
看这个
Look at this.
来点咖啡怎么样
How about a little coffee?
不谢了
No, thank you.
格雷格·奇泽姆
Greg Chisholm.
苏珊·爱尔兰我是卢克的同事
Susan Ireland. I'm Luke's associate.
卢克真幸运
Lucky Luke.
那他人呢
So, where is he?
格雷格感谢前来
Greg. Thanks for coming.
你解决了我的小问题吗
So, did you fix my little problem?
我想是的
Oh, I think so.
解决方法很简单
The solution is simple.
虽然不容易但很简单
It's not easy, but it's simple.
特拉华的日光房♥是伯尼送给
Sunroom of the Delaware was Bernie's gift
心爱♥女♥人♥的礼物
to the woman he loved.
她应该在地狱里燃烧
She should burn in hell!
但格雷格问题是这个日光房♥
But, uh, Greg, the problem is is that this sunroom
是你们公♥司♥从南丁格尔先生处
was part of a design that your company
非法获取并加以利用的设计之一
unlawfully acquired from Mr. Nightingale and exploited.
这是个大问题格雷格
Now, this is a huge problem, Greg.
但...他死了
But... he's dead.
版权保护♥法♥在作者死后
Copyright protection extends 70 years
还有70年的有效期
beyond the death of the author.
所以去死吧
So suck it!
你的公♥司♥欠南丁格尔先生的房♥产
Your company can owe Mr. Nightingale's estate
数百万元的版权费和侵权费
millions of dollars in royalties and penalties.
但我找到了一个解决方法
But I think we found a solution.
菲尔
Phil?
我们建议翻新特拉华的所有房♥产
We propose a retrofit to every Delaware standing;
外加一个房♥间
an extra room,
如今所有买♥♥家都想要的多功能空间
the multi-functional space today's buyers are looking for.
对吧格雷格
Ain't that right, Greg?
底线是
Bottom line:
地球上不会再有这样的房♥子
no more places like this one on the face of the earth.
不会再有质量问题
No more quality issues,
除了是因为你们自己粗制滥造的房♥子
except the ones resulting from your own lousy workmanship.
不会再有屋主们遭遇同步破坏的事情
No more synchronized shitshows for your homeowners.
你在之后三十天内对房♥屋进行改造
Now, you make these modifications in the next 30 days
我们就不把你告到只剩内♥裤♥
and we don't sue you into the stone age.
大家都能赢
Everybody wins!
这是因为巴尔莫勒尔农场对吧
This is about Balmoral Farms, isn't it?
我们说好了吗
Do we have a deal or not?
你就别想要双倍费用和定金了
You can forget about your double fee and your retainer
而且永远别想再给我们工作了
and you will never work for us again.
我们最后的账单会用邮件发给你
Oh, our final invoice is in the mail.
但格雷格
But Greg?
在你晚上睡觉前
Before you go to sleep at night
最好额外检查一下你的床下面
you might want to take an extra look under your bed.
瞧那是不是感觉...
Now, see, doesn't that feel--?
我很高兴你没有把一个伤心的老人
I'm glad you didn't molecularly deconstruct
分解成分子他很容易就往前看了
a sad old man. He moved on so easily.
未了心愿
Unfinished business.
那些网红也全数付清了账单
And the influencers paid in full.
他们暂时满意了
They're temporarily happy.
要是能拿到萨默塞特的提成
Would have been nice to get some of those
那就更好了
sweet Somerset commissions.
直到让你所有付出原则才是原则
Principle isn't a principle until it costs you something.
再说有人告诉我
Plus, this guy once told me,
"他们都会再回来"
"They always come back."
聪明人
Wise man.
他有自己的高光时刻
He has his moments.
卢克
Luke,
巴尔莫勒尔农场到底发生了什么
what the hell happened at Balmoral Farms?
以后提醒我告诉你
Remind me to tell you sometime.
虽然不准时但没迟到太多
Not on time, but less late.
一步步来
Baby steps.
听着
Look...
卢克我知道这是怎么回事
Luke, I know what this is.
在外吃一顿饭
A meal out in public,
放慢速度我们就当朋友
gear down, let's stay friends.
我还漏了什么
What'd I miss?
一切
Everything.
我的意图我的解释
My intentions, my explanation.
只是...
It's just...
我就知道自己该做几张幻灯片
I knew I should have put together some Keynote slides.
你饿了吗
Are you hungry?
不饿
Not in the least.
那我们走走吧
Let's just walk.
我们能走走吗
Can we just walk?
所以你不想再来我家了
So, you don't want to come to my house anymore.
你有什么感受
How do you feel about that?
只是太难以承受
It's just too much.