瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S01E08

Part 1 Oct. 7, 2020, 2:27 p.m.

Cynthia
Cynthia...
Oh, My God. No. No.
噢天哪不要啊
I told you. Hold on.
都跟你说了等等
Will you please...
你能不能
Not marry me? I chose Veronica
不要嫁给我我选Veronica
What?! Yes! Hold it.
搞什么太好了淡定
Why would he chose Veronica?
他干嘛选Veronica
Because he loves her?
因为他爱她
Well, if it's any consolation, Summer,
不知道这么说能不能让你好受点 Summer
none of it mattered and the entire show was stupid.
你管他为啥呢这节目就是个渣
Okay, I've got an idea, Rick.
好啊 Rick 不如这样
You show us your concept of good TV
你来让我们看看什么节目好看
and we'll crap all over that.
我们来吐槽
Thought you'd never ask.
就等着你问呢
Hey!
嘿
Oh, cool.
噢酷
Is that Crystallized Xanthanite?
这是晶化Xanthanite吧
It conducts electrons across dimensions.
它可以在次元之间传导电子
20% accurate as usual, Morty.
你又只说对了20% Morty
The important thing being,
重点是
I just upgraded our cable package with
我升级了我们的有线电视套餐
programing from every conceivable reality.
它现在能收到所有可能的平行现实的电视节目
Wait. Does that mean we get Showtime Extreme?
那我们是不是能收到Showtime Extreme了
How about Showtime Extreme in a world where man evolved from corn?
玉米人世界的Showtime Extreme如何
We're not so different.
我们没什么不同
We're both corn of action.
我们都是行动派玉米
Yeah, but one of us is dead corn!
对但我们其中一个是死玉米
Boring.
无聊
Summer, you just spent three months
Summer 你刚花了三个月
Watching a man chose a fake wife.
看一个男人怎么选假老婆
So, what, it'd be better if the people were corn?
那又怎样变成玉米人就好看了
Jerry, you don't get it.
Jerry 你没明白
This is infinite TV from infinite universes.
这是来自无限宇宙的无限电视节目
Look.
瞧瞧
This shit is delicious.
这屎真好吃
A movie about a guy eating shit.
一部关于吃屎的电影
A violent antique show.
暴♥力♥古董秀
It's a pleasure to have you.
很荣幸能邀请到你
The pleasure's all mine.
荣幸的是我
Letterman from a timeline where Jerry's famous.
某时空里出名的Jerry出现在"Letterman"节目中
Wait! What in the hell?
等一下搞什么
I agree. Where is this going?
我同意这是要闹哪样
No, the other thing! Go back.
不不是这个换回去
Really? All right, fine.
真的假的好吧
Glen, this is a court order.
Glen 这是法♥院♥命令
It says you can't eat shit any more.
你以后都不许吃屎了
All right, Jerry.
好吧 Jerry
When you're right, you're right.
难得你说对一回嘛
Now I'm hooked.
这电影确实好看
Coming up next on "Shmloo's the shmloss,"
接下来是"屎木的屎木拉"
Shmlony has a nightmare.
屎木尼做了个噩梦
Shamlantha! Shmlona!
屎木曼莎屎木娜
Amazing
真神奇
A dimension where all proper nouns begin with "Shmla."
这个次元所有的专有名词开头都是"屎木"
Shmla Shmalangela?
屎木拉屎木安吉拉
Shmlonathan?
屎木纳森
All right, that actually got old pretty quick.
好吧一下子就看烦了
Rick, will you please go back to me on "David Letterman"?
Rick 你能不能调回去接着看我上"David Letterman"
Infinity's big number, Jerry.
无限的电视台有点多啊 Jerry
I don't remember the channel.
我记不清是哪个台了
Ah! Go back! Go back!
噢刚才那个台往回调
Geez.
天啊
You speak the true-true.
你说的是真真
Oh, my god. Dad"s in "Cloud Atlas"!
天啊老爸你出演了《云图》
I'm in "Cloud Atlas"!
我出演了《云图》
What's "Cloud Atlas"?
《云图》是啥
Sometimes, small true-true
有时候小真真
Different than the big true-true.
不同于大真真
How is this possible?
这怎么可能
Infinite timelines, infinite possibilities,
无限种时空就会有无限种可能
Including a timeline where jerry's a movie star.
自然会有某个时空Jerry是电影明星
Look, you guys are getting excited about
你们简直瞎激动
the wrong aspect to this device.
完全不明白这个装置意义何在
Wha-look at this.
看这个
And now, another quick mystery.
新一集"快快悬疑案"
I just want to know who could have done something like this.
我只想知道是谁能干出这种事
It's a travesty.
简直是人性的扭曲
I did.
是我♥干♥的
See this knife and all the blood on it?
这是一把带血的刀
Here's my fingerprints.
这是我的指纹
Guilty. I sentence you to life in prison.
有罪判处你无期徒刑
Here's another quick mystery.
下一个"快速悬疑案"
My mother's dead.
我母亲死了
And I killed her.
我杀了她
Here's the weapon, and cuff me. Thank you very much.
这是凶器请把我铐起来谢谢
Guilty. Sentenced to murder.
有罪杀人偿命
Here's another. I'm the killer.
下一个我是凶手
Oh, wow, that one was really quick, wasn't it?
噢还真是够快的
Now, who wants to watch random,
谁现在想看
crazy TV shows from different dimensions,
不同次元随机的奇葩电视节目
and, and then who wants to narcissistically obsess about
哪些自恋狂想看
their alternate selves?
另一次元的自己
I want to obsess about myself.
我想看自己
Here, these scan your retinas and let you
这个装置能通过扫描视网膜
view parallel timelines through genetically
让你亲眼看到另一个
matching versions of your eyes.
平行宇宙的自己看到的东西
Go fetch.
去捡吧
This is so cool. Ladies first.
太酷了女士优先
I'm proud of you, Morty.
Morty 我为你骄傲
Hey, man. I don't give a crap about myself, Rick
我才不关心我自己呢
Let's watch some crazy stuff, yo.
咱快看些猎奇的东西吧
I'm ants in my eyes Johnson,
我是"满眼蚂蚁"Johnson
Here at ants in my eyes Johnson's electronics.
这里是"满眼蚂蚁"Johnson电器城
I mean, there's many ants in my eyes.
我的眼睛上有好多蚂蚁啊
And there's so many TVs,
这里有好多电视机
I can't -- I'm not 100% sure
我不我不能百分百确定
what we have here in stock
这里都有什么
Because I can't see any thing.
因为我啥也看不见
Our prices, I hope, aren't too low.
我只希望我们的价格不要太低
Check out this refrigerator,
瞧瞧这个冰箱
Only $200.
仅售两百块
What about this microwave?
再瞧瞧这个微波炉
Only $100. That's fair.
只要一百块物美价廉
I'm ants in my eyes Johnson.
我是"满眼蚂蚁"Johnson
Everything's black.
我的眼前漆黑一片
I can't see a thing.
什么都看不见
And also, I can't feel anything, either.
而且我什么都感觉不到
Did I mention that?
我有提到过没
But that's not as catchy as having ants in your eyes,
但这点不像我满眼蚂蚁这点那么引人注目
so that always goes... you know, off by the wayside.
这样走在街边上总是怪怪的
I can't feel. It's a very rare disease.
我没有知觉这种病很罕见的
All my, all my nerves,
我所有的神经
They don't allow for the sensation of touch,
都没有触觉
So I never know what's going on.
我从来都不知道发生了啥
Am I standing, sitting? I don't know.
我这是站着呢坐着呢不知道啊
Are we sure we want to do this?
我们真的要做这事儿吗
Look at our own alternate lives?
看看自己的另一种人生
You're right. Maybe we should just play Yahtzee.
对啊咱们还是玩快艇骰子好了
Give me those.
快给我
What do you see?
看到什么了