瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S01E01

Part 1 Oct. 7, 2020, 2:25 p.m.

Morty, you got to come on.
Morty 来
You got to come with me.
跟我走一趟
What's going on?
咋回事儿
I got a surprise for you, morty.
我给你个惊喜
It's the middle of the night. What are you talking about?
可现在是半夜啊
I got a surprise for you. Come on, hurry up.
有惊喜快来
Ow!
嗷
Ow! You're tugging me too hard. I got a surprise for you, Morty.
别拉得这么用劲儿啊给你个惊喜 Morty
What do you... what do you
你觉得
Think of this flying vehicle, Morty?
这飞船咋样啊 Morty
I built it out of stuff I found in the garage.
我拿车♥库♥里的东西造的
Yeah, Rick, it's
挺好的 Rick
It's great.
挺棒的
Is this the surprise?
惊喜就是这个吗
Morty, I had to I had to do I had to I had
Morty 我必须必须必须
To I had to make a bomb, Morty.
必须得搞个炸♥弹♥ Mory
I had to create a bomb.
我造了个炸♥弹♥
What?! A bomb?!
啥炸♥弹♥
We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty.
炸♥弹♥投下去创造新天地
Create a whole fresh start.
新呀新天地
T-t-that's absolutely crazy!
这太疯了吧
Come on, Morty.
来嘛Morty
Just take it easy, Morty.
淡定点Morty
It's gonna be good.
会很赞的
Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend jessica.
现在咱去接你的小伙伴Jessica
Jessica?
Jessica
From my math class?
我数学课上那个
When I drop the bomb, I don't, you know, I want you to
我扔炸♥弹♥下去的时候我不想
Have somebody, you know
我想让你有人陪着
I want you to have the thing
我希望你能那啥
I'm gonna make it like a new adam and eve, and you're gonna be adam.
就和新世界的亚当与夏娃一样你就是亚当
And jessica's gonna be eve, and so that's the surprise, Morty.
Jessica就是夏娃惊喜吧 Morty
No, you can't!
不行
J-jessica doesn't even know I exist.
Jessica根本不认识我
But but but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity.
先别管这个你不能毁灭人类
I-I get what you're trying to say, M-Morty.
我知道你想说啥 Morty
Listen, I'm not you don't y-y-you don't got to worry about me
听着我不你不你不用担心
trying to fool around with with jessica or mess around with jessica or anything.
我不会调戏Jessica 或者玩弄Jessica 之类的
I'm I'm not that kind of guy, Morty.
我不是那种人 Morty
What are you talking about, Rick?
Rick 你在说什么
You you you don't
你你你不用
Have to worry about me getting
担心我会
With jessica or anything.
和Jessica搞上什么的
She she she she she's all for you, Morty.
她她她是你一个人的 Morty
I don't care about Jessica!
Jessica不是重点
You know what, Morty? You're right.
Morty 没错你说得对
Let's forget the girl all together.
别管这妹子了
She she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways.
留下也是祸患
Arming neutrino bomb.
中微子炸♥弹♥装载中
That's it that's it, Rick.
够了
I'm taking the wheel.
方向盘给我
Get off of me, Morty!
闪开 Morty
I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy.
我不能让你这样
What's gotten into you?
你发啥疯
I'm I'm I'm i'm not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb...
我才不会在边上跟个傻
What are you, crazy?
你搞啥疯了吗
... person and just let you blow up the whole world.
傻瓜一样让你把地球灭了
All right, all right.
好吧好吧
I'll I'll land.
我降落就是了
I'll land. I'll land.
我降落就是了
I'll land the thing.
这就降落好吧
I'll land the thing.
这就降落
Big tough guy all of a sudden.
突然这么男人了
We'll park it right here, Morty.
咱就停这儿吧
Right here on the s-side of the r-road here.
就这路边上吧
Oh, thank god.
谢天谢地
You know what? That was all a test, Morty.
Morty 其实这是个考验
Just an elaborate test to make
精心策划
You more assertive.
让你更加坚定
It was?
真的
Sure. Why not?
当然了不然咧
I don't I don't know.
我咋知道
You you know what, Mo
知道吗 Mo
Neutrino bomb armed.
中微子炸♥弹♥装载完毕
Um...
呃
I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight.
今晚要播新一♥期♥歌♥唱节目啦
Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer?
你们觉得最佳歌♥手是谁
Oh, my god.
上帝啊
His head is in his food.
头都砸进饭里了
I'm going to puke.
我想吐
Morty, are you getting sick?
Morty 你病了吗
I told you not to practice-kiss the living-room pillow.
跟你说了别拿客厅里的枕头练亲亲
The dog sleeps on it.
狗狗在上面睡觉的
I wasn't kissing a pillow, mom.
我没亲枕头妈
I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
我就是昨晚没睡好
Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something.
可能我的梦太吵了什么的
Or maybe you were out all night again with grandpa Rick.
其实是你整晚都和Rick外公在外面吧
What?!
啥
Dad?
爸
What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now?
咋每天晚上都非要睡觉吗
You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
你晓得夜晚占了我们时间的一半吧
Damn it!
去你的
Jerry!
Jerry
Beth!
Beth
Oh, my god. My parents are so loud.
上帝啊我爹妈真吵
I want to die.
我想死
Mm, there is no god, summer.
Summer 世上没有上帝
You got to rip that band-aid off now.
你现在忍♥痛接受
You'll thank me later.
以后会感谢我的
Okay, with all due respect, rick what am I talking about? What respect is due?
无意冒犯 Rick 算了吧管他有意无意
How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging
你老拉着他去搞这些没完没了的科幻玩意儿
Him off for high-concept sci-fi rigamarole?
他上的课还怎么过
Listen, Jerry, I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything.
Jerry 我不想多管闲事
It's your house.
这是你家
It's your world.
你的地盘
You're a real julius caesar.
你是凯撒大帝
But I'll tell you some tell you how how I feel about school, jerry.
但是我觉得学校这种东西
It's a waste of time. A bunch of people running around, bumping into each other.
纯属浪费时间一堆人乱跑乱撞
G-guy up front says, "Two plus two."
前面的人说"二加二"
The people in the back say, "Four."
后面的人说"四"
Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a
下课铃一响他们给你一盒牛奶
Piece of paper that says you can
一张纸上面写着
Go take a dump or something.
你可以去上个大号♥
I mean, it's it's not a place for smart people, Jerry.
学校不适合聪明人待
And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.
我知道不是什么主流观点但我就这么想的
This was a good breakfast, Beth.
早餐很棒 Beth
You really made the crap out of those eggs.
你真是煎得一手好蛋
I wish your mother was here to eat them.
要是你妈妈也能吃到就好了
Oh, dad.
噢爸爸
What?
啥
For real?
没搞错吧
All right, now, everybody get settled.
都坐好
Get away from the windows!
离窗户远点
Now, look, we're gonna be dealing with some real serious stuff today.
今天我们要来点真家伙
You might have heard of it.
你们可能听说过
It's called math.
叫做数学
And without it, none of us would even exist, so let's jump right in.
没了数学我们都不会存在现在开始吧
two plus two.
二加二
Jessica.
Jessica
Five plus five.
五加五