瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

What is on Jessica's Instagram again.
莫蒂又在看杰西卡的Instagram了
Get out of here jerk!
走开 混♥蛋♥
What's so embarrassing Morty?
有什么好尴尬的 莫蒂
Sharing it with your family might help.
跟家人分享一下 说不定有帮助呢
Summer stop shaming your brother.
夏茉 别再让你弟弟难堪了
Morty s*DefaultNTP being a creepy perverted cyberstalker.
莫蒂 别再做那些吓人的变♥态♥网络跟踪狂行为了
I'm not cyberstalking!
我没在网上跟踪别人
I-I-I just wanted to know where she got this necklace from.
我 我只是想知道她的项链是在哪弄到的
And now I know.
现在我知道了
Her -- Her -- Her grandma left it to her.
她 她的奶奶留给她的
You're quiet Rick.
你很安静啊 瑞克
Shouldn't you be revealing grandmas aren't real?
你难道不给我们讲讲 奶奶们都是虚幻的大道理吗
Hi. I've placed an auto-response chip in my brain
你好 我大脑里植入了自动回复芯片
so I can spend time with my family.
好让我能有时间陪伴家人
But you arespending time with your family.
但你不正在陪伴家人么
Thank you for talking to Rick.
感谢你和瑞克交谈
Alright I'm finished with my breakfast
好的 早餐也吃完了
and my Amazon wish list. Let's go Morty.
亚马逊心愿单也弄完了 走吧 莫蒂
I need death crystals from Forbodulon Prime.
我需要搞到禁忌主星的死亡水晶
Dad? There's a way we do this now.
爸 现在咱们有一套规则要遵守的
Morty would you please accompany me
莫蒂 请问你愿意与我一起
to Forbodulon Prime for death crystals?
去禁忌主星取死亡水晶吗
Well thank you for asking. Yes I will do that.
谢谢你问我 我愿意
It isa hot photo.
这照片的确挺性感的
I think grief flushes your cheeks.
我觉得哀伤给人一种特殊的红晕
Dad you hardly put any syrup on.
爸 你基本没放糖浆啊
Honey s*DefaultNTP raising your father's cholesterol
宝贝 别再试图升高你♥爸♥的胆固醇
so you can take a hot funeral selfie.
好让你能发一张性感葬礼自♥拍♥了
I never get to do anything.
什么都不让我做
Uh Rick maybe if we go a little --
瑞克 也许我们可以稍微
Faster? Good idea Morty.
快点吗 好主意 莫蒂
It'll get us through these asteroids sooner.
这样我们就能更快穿过这片小行星了
Geez you're really thispissed about my mom making sure
天呐 我妈确认我自愿参加这些冒险
I'm okay with our adventures?
就这么让你生气吗
What's next Morty? What if I want you to jump off
下一步是什么 难道我想让你跳下帝国大厦
the Empire State Building? I have to ask? Yes?
我也要征求同意了吗 是呀
And you seriously don't see how that's a slippery slope?
你真没看出来这是条得寸进尺的不归路么
Just shut up and help me with these please.
赶快闭嘴 帮我弄这些吧 劳驾了
Why are they called death crystals?
它们为什么叫死亡水晶啊
D-Do they kill you?
它 它会让人死掉吗
You're thinking of bullets Morty.
你说的那是子弹 莫蒂
Death crystals show you how you're gonna die.
死亡水晶能让你看到你的死亡方式
Jesus Christ! I-I die a million times?
我的天啊 我 我会死上万次吗
Your future stems from your [burps] present
你的未来源自当下
which if you're living right keeps changing.
而如果你过得没问题 当下是一直在变化的
Truth is anyone that knows how they're definitely gonna die
事实上 知道自己肯定以某种方式死去的人
is either boring as hell or about to get shot.
要不然就是无聊透顶的庸人
Duck!
要不然就是马上要挨枪子儿了 趴下
Who are those guys?!
他们是谁
Crystal poachers.
水晶偷猎者
There's no lower form of life.
没有比他们更低等的生命了
They think the galaxy's their own personal piggy bank.
他们觉得整个星系都是他们的私人存钱罐
Wait then what are we?
等等 那我们是什么
We're Rick and Morty.
我们是瑞克与莫蒂
You're about to witness the only real use for these crystals.
你将要见证这些水晶唯一的真实用途
They show you when the other guy's reloading.
它能让你看到那帮人什么时候换弹
Certain death certain death certain death uncertain death.
确定会死 确定会死 确定会死 不确定会死
And certain death certain death certain death.
确定会死 确定会死 确定会死
Definitely gonna get shot by this guy;
肯定会被这家伙射中
this is totally my fate; nothing I could possibly do;
这就是我的命运 我什么都做不了
okay now not so much.
好的 现在 事情变了
Help me gather these up.
帮我把这些收集起来
You just use these to win fights? Idon't use them.
你只是用它们来赢得战斗吗 不是我利用它们
People that spend their life avoiding death are already dead.
一辈子躲避死亡的人 也已经死了
They're also rich and I like to spend my life with their money.
但他们都很富有 而我愿意花他们的钱过我的生活
Oh my God. Morty!
噢天呐 莫蒂
Jessica! Oh!
Jessica
I love you.
我爱你
Morty，I love you.
莫蒂 我爱你
Jessica. I want to die with Jessica.
Jessica 我想死的时候有Jessica陪我
Ahh! What are you doing?
你在干什么
Oh um c-can I drive? Why?
啊 呃 能让我开吗 为什么
The...feel of the open road?
那个 在路上飙一把
Alright! Who's this grandson?
这才对嘛 这是哪位外孙啊
I like his style.[ Keys jingle ]
我喜欢他的风格
Morty you know outer space is up right? Yeah yeah.
莫蒂 你清楚外太空在上面对吧
I'm just uh following...my...instincts.
是是 我只是 呃 跟着感觉走
Will you just go up? S*DefaultNTP!
你就好好往上开行吗
You're gonna make me die wrong!
快停下 你会让我死而不得其所的
Wait a minute what?
等等 你说什么
Morty do you have a death crystal in your pocket?
莫蒂 你口袋里的东西是死亡水晶吗
No! Maybe! You little monster!
不是 可能吧
I thought you were masturbating!
你这个小混♥蛋♥ 我以为你只是在自♥慰♥呢
And you took that in stride?!
所以你就这么淡然处之吗
You'd rather I address it?!
难不成你愿意我提这个
Why would I be doing it?!
我为什么会自♥慰♥啊
Why would you steal a death crystal?!
那你为什么会偷死亡水晶
I want to die old!
我想老死
Then s*DefaultNTP driving!
那就别再开了
No! You son of a bitch!
不 你个小兔崽子
Give me the wheel Morty.
把方向盘给我 莫蒂
Goddamn it.
妈的
Ohhh shit.
啊 糟了
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
我♥操♥ 我♥操♥ 我♥操♥
I love you Morty. [ Sighs ]
我爱你 莫蒂
I will avenge my death.
我会找你复仇的
Holy shit! Just kidding.
我♥操♥ 开玩笑呢
I'm a crisis detection and correction hologram
我是一个危机监测矫正全息投影
generated by a chip that "real" Rick put in your spine.
是"真的"瑞克在你脊柱里植入的芯片生成的
"Real" in quotes because calling density-privileged entities
我用加引号♥的"真的"是因为?
"real" is incredibly holo-phobic.
把拥有实体特权的个体称为"真的"是非常恐全息的行为
Morty do me a solid -- problematic wordplay aside --
莫蒂 帮我个实在的忙 先别管这个有问题的文字游戏
grab the gun with the blue handle from the trunk
去后备箱拿一下那个蓝色手柄的枪
and get a tissue sample from the corpse.
然后从尸体上取点组织样本
Alright now take that to the trunk
好的 现在把它拿回后备箱
and insert it into the clone compiler.
并放入克隆编辑器里
I see you appear to be holding a death crystal
我注意到你正拿着一块死亡水晶
that's guiding your decisions more than I am.
并让它而不是我来指导你的决定
That's your right.
这是你的权利
I just want to remind you that some people can't hold anything
我只是想提醒你 有的人没办法拿住任何东西
and can never die so that's a little offensive to --
并且永远无法死亡 所以这有一点冒犯到
[ Engine starts ]Oh okay.
噢 好吧
Listen I'm programmed for tolerance Morty.
听着 我被编入了很高的容忍♥度 莫蒂
So I'm willing to accept that you're doing this
所以我愿意接受你目前的行为
if you're willing to accept that you need to s*DefaultNTP.
前提是你也要接受你得赶快停下的事实
Accepting. Rerouted.
接收中 重新导向
Backup. Data. Operation. Phoenix. Initiated.
备份数据 凤♥凰♥计划启动
What the hell? I axed this protocol.
怎么回事 我不是把这个协议砍掉了么
What are you doing with my clone?
你用我的克隆做什么
It's okay. I'm you.
没事的 我就是你
I took my own clone vat offline a couple seasons ago
我在几季之前下线了我自己的克隆罐
so I think my backup got rerouted to your universe.
所以我觉得我的备份重新导向了你的宇宙 抱歉
I'm sorry. All good. Happy to help.
没关系 很乐意帮忙
By the way annoying that I even have to ask
另外 抱歉我这么问
but you are down with fascist dys*DefaultNTPias right?
但你是支持法♥西♥斯♥反乌托邦的吧
YYYYYes.
没 错
That "yes" was pretty...[ Gun cocks ]
你的"Yes"听起来 相当
...liberal with the letter "Y."
自♥由♥派 还用的是字母Y
Well isn't this strange.
这真够怪的
I trust the kind of strange that makes Rick and Morty...
我相信就是这种怪