极品老妈

Mom S02E21

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 12:32 p.m.

令你会摔倒的我一点也不会意外
that was purposely designed to make you fall.
我不想让自己听起来像是个妄想症患者
I don't mean to sound paranoid,
但我们可能正面对巨大的
but we might be looking at a giant
制药医疗水管业阴谋
pharmaceutical-medical-plumbing conspiracy.
我们可以嘘她吗
Are we allowed to boo?
就分享这么多
Anyway, that's it.
在浴缸里放上优质的防滑垫否则他们就赢了
Put those daisy stickers down in your tub, otherwise they win.
好的
Okay.
还有谁想分享的
Who else would like to share?
我来
I would.
大家好我是克丽丝蒂
Hi, I'm Christy.
我是酒瘾者
I'm an alcoholic.
你好克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
我只想说我非常感谢这个互助组
I just want to say how grateful I am to this program,
没有互助组我会杀了我母亲
because without it, I would have murdered my mother.
大家知道这年头人们总是很随意地说出
And, you know, people toss around the word "Murder"
"杀"这个字
all too easy these days...
但我是认真的
but I really mean it.
谢谢大家
Thank you.
还有人要分享吗
Okay, anybody else?
我来
I'll go.
大家好我是玛乔丽我是酒瘾者
Hi, Marjorie, alcoholic.
你好玛乔丽
Hi, Marjorie.
大家都知道
Well, as many of you know,
过来18个月我一直在和癌症抗争
I've been battling cancer for the past 18 months,
今天我去了肿瘤科医生那里
and today I went to my oncologist
拿到了最后一次扫描的结果
to get the results of my latest scan.
我很高兴地告诉大家我没有癌症了
And I'm happy to report that I'm cancer-free.
你和我我们把分歧放一边
All right, let's just you and me put aside our differences
今晚只是庆祝玛乔丽痊愈
and make tonight about celebrating Marjorie's recovery.
我可不是怨气冲天的人
Hey, I'm not the one seething with resentment.
没错你忙着制♥造♥怨气
Quite true-- you're too busy creating it.
你是带菌者
You're a carrier.
你是人类怨气病毒的病原
You're patient zero of the human resentment virus.
我糊涂了
I'm confused.
我们到底要不要把分歧放一边
Are we setting aside our differences, or aren't we?
放一边
We are.
-休战吗 -休战
- Truce? - Truce.
她来啦
There she is.
我们的小奇迹
Our little miracle.
谢谢大家
Thanks, guys.
你现在治好了癌症有什么刺♥激♥的计划
So now that you're cancer-free, got any exciting plans?
我想没有原因
Well, I guess there's no reason
再推迟粉刷门廊了
to put off painting the porch anymore.
我可以去刷
I could do that for you.
真的吗
Really?
谢谢你邦妮
Aw, thanks, Bonnie.
这个不算社会服务妈
That doesn't count as community service, Mom.
我是为了友谊去做的
I'm doing it out of friendship.
而且如果她签了表格就算
And if she signs the forms, yes, it does.
你的头发重新长起来需要多久
So, how long will it take for your hair to grow back?
这就是我的真头发
This is my hair.
真漂亮
Looks great.
温蒂你为什么哭啊
Wendy, why are you crying?
我跟上帝说好了如果他让你活下去
I made a deal with God that if he let you live,
我会用余生来帮助穷♥人♥
I'd spend the rest of my life helping the poor.
亲爱的这有什么好伤心的
Oh, honey, why is that sad?
我不想去做
I don't want to do it.
大家别再看我了
Everybody stop looking at me.
大家来敬玛乔丽一杯
How about a toast to Marjorie?
饮料还没上来
We don't have drinks yet.
假装
Fake it.
大家来假装下
Come on, everybody, let's pretend.
玛乔丽你是我认识的最了不起的女性
Marjorie, you are the most amazing woman I've ever known.
你觉得你有资格竞争这一头衔吗
Did you really think you were in the running for that?
哪怕你生病了也一直是我们坚实的依靠
Even when you were sick, you were always our rock.
我只想让你知道
And I just want you to know,
我们都爱你
we all love you, and...
我们非常开心
we're so happy
你会陪伴我们很长很长的时间
you're gonna stick around with us for a long, long time.
-干杯 -干杯
- Hear, hear. - Cheers.
我假装我的杯子里是酒
I pretended there was alcohol in mine.
现在你挺过来了
Now that you're on the other side of this,
你应该旅行看看世界
you should travel, see the world.
事实上我正准备旅行
Well, as a matter of fact, I'm gonna do just that.
我的小伙伴想带我坐邮轮
My fella wants to take me on a cruise.
那些邮轮糟糕透了
Ugh, those cruise ships are awful.
没人在乎你怎么想
Nobody really cares what you think.
她刚恢复健康
She just got healthy.
邮轮就像漂浮的细菌培养皿
Those things are like floating petri dishes.
别再告诉别人应该如何过生活
Stop telling people how to live their lives,
你连自己应该怎样过都不清楚
when you can't even figure out how to live your own life.
我的生活挺好的
I live my life just fine.
真的吗
Really?
52岁的女人丢了驾照
52-year-old woman without a driver's license,
穿着橙色背心在路边捡垃圾
wearing an orange vest, picking up garbage on the side of the road.
你过得真是超级棒啊
Yeah, you knocked your life out of the park.
好吧你有两个孩子他们的爹不是同一个
Okay, so you with the two kids and the two different dads,
高中退学跳脱衣舞也失败了
drops out of high school, fails at stripping.
说真的谁会失败啊
I mean, seriously, who fails at stripping?
就是脱衣服而已
It's taking off your clothes.
是吗你想打赌咱俩谁过得更好吗
Oh, yeah? You want to bet which one of us has a better life?
肯定是你啊反正你在匿名戒赌互助会
I'm sure you do-- you're the one with a cookie commitment
能吃到曲奇
at Gamblers Anonymous.
那是干嘛
What the hell was that?
那是我用想象的饮料泼你一脸
That's me throwing my imaginary drink in your face.
停下
Stop it!
你俩都闭嘴
Both of you, just shut up.
你们毁了我的康复派对
You're ruining my remission.
顺便说一句我们的休战结束了
FYI, our truce is over.
那是休战吗
That was a truce?
玛乔丽是我
Hi, Marjorie, it's me.
也许你还睡着
Maybe you're still asleep.
总之我想为昨晚的事道歉
Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for last night.
我很高兴你重获健康了
I'm so happy you're healthy.
这消息太棒了
That is the greatest news.
请你明白我不指望你
And please know I don't expect you to take sides
在我跟我妈吵架这事中站队
in this thing between me and my mother.
但你懂发生的事
But you get what's going on.
早上好
Morning.
你这么早跟谁在打电♥话♥呢
Who were you talking to so early?
玛乔丽
Marjorie.
我俩没事了
She and I are good.
真的吗
Seriously?
我也许想喝第二杯
I might have liked a second cup.
我也许希望我的青春不被分娩打断
I might have liked my youth uninterrupted by childbirth.
我先失陪了
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我要去捡脏尿布
I'm off to pick up dirty diapers,
用过的套套和装了尿的杯子了
used condoms and Big Gulps filled with urine.
那是谁的错啊妈妈
And whose fault is that, Mom?
我想是长途卡车司机
I'm assuming long-haul truckers.
从来不是你的错对吧
It's never you, is it?
我从来没尿在杯子里过
I have never peed in a cup
除非是法庭要求的
unless it was ordered by the court.
你走之前我提醒一下
Before you go,
今晚我们该去维奥莉特
tonight's the night we're supposed to go over
和格雷戈里家吃晚餐
to Violet and Gregory's for dinner.
-是今晚吗 -是的
- That's tonight? - Yeah.
我们都得去吗我是说你得去吗
Do we both have to go? And by that, I mean you.
我是她妈妈
I am her mother.