极品老妈

Mom S02E01

Part 3 Jan. 4, 2020, 12:28 p.m.

What do you got?
妈妈
Mom.
我想我也可以拿那么多吧
Oh, I suppose I can kick in that much.
好吧我也可以
Okay. I can do the same.
如果你能给房♥东
If you can give the landlord
一个月的房♥租
anything like a month's rent,
这肯定能帮你争取到一些时间
I'm sure it'll buy you some time.
我会还你钱的
I'll pay you back.
那是必须的
Damn straight you'll pay me back.
话说你真是太聪明了
So, anyway, you were so smart
建议我去帮助新来的姑娘
to suggest that I work with that new girl.
真是太...
It has been incredibly...
闭嘴
Shut up.
让我满足了
...satisfying.
拜托加布里埃尔我真的需要上更多的班
Please, Gabriel, I really need to work more shifts.
如果我有我会给你的
If I had them, I'd give them to you.
让我上安德莉亚的班怎么样
How about one of Andrea's shifts?
我不想八卦
I'm not one to gossip,
但那姑娘上厕所之后不洗手
but the lady doesn't wash her hands after she tinkles.
安德莉亚好啊你真漂亮
Andrea, hey, lookin' good!
你真想让大家染上肝炎吗
Do you really want hepatitis on the menu?
我说了不行
I said no.
这是因为我不再跟你上♥床♥了吗
Is this because I stopped sleeping with you?
不是
No!
是因为我开始跟安德莉亚上♥床♥了
It's because I started sleeping with Andrea.
该死
Damn it.
我想压十倍密西西比州科技队真的
Yes, I want ten dimes on Mississippi Tech, straight up.
是的我知道他们落后了18分不被看好
Yes, I know they're 18-point underdogs.
我有小道消息
I got a tip.
下注就好
Yeah... just put the bet down.
你好啊
Hello.
你有小道消息吗
You got a tip?
-也许吧 -靠谱吗
- Maybe. - Is it a good one?
洋葱在310华氏度时会变焦吗
Do onions caramelize at 310 degrees Fahrenheit?
我完全不知道
I have no idea.
但是回到小道消息这是千真万确的吗
But, uh, back to the tip, is it like a sure thing?
柠檬碎屑搭配乳清干酪吗
Does lemon zest pair with ricotta?
我知道了你是大厨
I get it, you're a chef.
告诉我就好
Just tell me!
不会输
Can't lose.
赔率是五比一
Pays five to one.
真的吗
Really?
1200乘以5是
Five times 1,200 is...
零零加上...
Zero, zero, carry the one...
好了是六千
Okay, it's six grand.
你想让我帮你下注吗
You want me to put a bet down for you?
不行
No, I can't.
我做不到
I just can't.
我们都知道她会的
Yeah, we both know she's gonna.
你不能告诉我妈妈这事
You cannot tell my mother about this.
大家好我是吉尔我是酒瘾者
Hi, I'm Jill and I'm an alcoholic.
你好吉尔
Hi, Jill.
你好吉尔
Hi, Jill.
我戒酒六天了
I have six days now.
站在讲台前我有点害怕
I'm a little scared up here,
我之前没在一群人面前说过话
I've really never talked in front of a group of people before.
除非你算上一队医生
Unless you count the team of doctors
他们在试图确定我是否还会伤害自己
who were trying to determine if I was still a danger to myself.
总之我的互助对象告诉我我应该分享所以...
Anyway, my sponsor told me that I should share, so...
我上来了
here I am.
我在听从她说的一切吩咐
And I'm doing everything she says
因为我想像她一样过得很好
because I really want to have it all together like she does.
你鼓舞了我克丽丝蒂
You're an inspiration to me, Christy.
她扭转了自己的生活
The way she turned her life around
这给了我希望也许我也能做到
gives me hope that maybe I can do the same.
加油啊射门射门
Oh, come on, make the kick, make the kick.
克丽丝蒂说重点在于诚实
Christy says that it's all about honesty,
为我的错误承担责任
taking responsibility for my mistakes
然后改正错误
and doing things differently.
传球真棒就快射门了
The snap is good, kick is up.
我想就这么多了吧
Anyway... I guess that's it, so...
谢谢大家
Thank you.
我赢了
I won!
谢谢你上帝我赢了
Oh, thank you, God, I won!
还有谁想分享
Hey. Who else would like to share?
你在哭吗
Are you crying?
我只是好开心
I'm just so happy.
为你
For you.
你最好了
You're the best.
谢谢
Thank you.
我一般不跟秃头胖子上♥床♥
I don't usually sleep with fat, bald guys,
但今晚你走运了富兰克林先生
but tonight's your night, Mr. Franklin.
-别回头 -什么
- Don't turn around. - What?
把钱给我然后走开
Just give me the money and walk away.
不不不
Oh, no. No, no.
我可不是闹着玩有一把枪顶着你的背呢
Look, I'm not screwing around. There's a gun in your back.
我能感受到其实我尿了一点
Yeah, I can feel it, I'm actually peeing myself a little.
但你不明白我需要这笔钱来付房♥租
But you don't understand, I need this money to pay my rent.
-我们平分怎么样 -闭嘴
- How about we split it? - Shut up.
天啊最近好多人跟我说这句话
Yeah, gee, I been getting that a lot lately.
好吧这样行不行
Okay, uh, see if this works.
跟着我去我房♥东家
Follow me to my landlord's,
让我把这笔钱给他
uh, let me give him this money,
然后你去抢他吧三赢啊
and then you rob him. Everybody wins.
不
No.
我高兴死了简直承受不了了
I'm so frigging happy I can't even stand it.
好消息房♥东过来了
Great news. Landlord came by,
他说一个月的房♥租也行
he said one month's rent would be fine.
-他这样说啊 -是啊我让他早上再过来
- He said that, huh? - Yup. I told him to come back in the morning.
太棒了
Great.
那时候我会跟他上♥床♥
That's when I'll sleep with him.
你说些什么呢
What are you talking about?
我被抢了
I got mugged.
钱没了
The money's gone.
你开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
我也希望是
I wish I was.
有把枪顶着我的背呢
There was a gun at my back.
亲爱的天啊过来
Oh, baby, oh, my God, come here.
妈妈我好害怕
Oh, Mom, I was so scared.
会没事的
Oh. It's gonna be all right.
一切都会好起来的
Everything's gonna be fine.
等等
Wait a minute.
才没有抢劫犯
There was no mugger.
有的继续抱我
Yeah, there was. Keep hugging.
不不不
No, no, no, no.
你又赌了对吧
You gambled again, didn't you?
我就知道你什么毛病啊
Oh, I knew it! What is wrong with you?
但我赢了
But I won!
真的吗钱呢
Oh, really? Where's the money?
我跟你说了我被抢了
I told you, I got mugged.
克丽丝蒂你该承认你又有问题了
Christy, it is time to admit you've got another problem.
你赢钱的时候赌博才不算问题呢
Gambling's not a problem when you win.
-我的确被抢了 -当然啦让我猜猜
- And I did get mugged. - Sure you did. Let me guess,
他是个高大吓人的黑人吗
he was a big, scary-looking black guy?
就是
He was.
你真丢人克丽丝蒂
Shame on you, Christy.
他符合抢匪的样子又不是我的错
It's not my fault he perpetuates the stereotype.
天啊省省吧没时间聊你的种族歧视了
Oh, my God, save it, we don't have time for your racism.
我们有钱来应付来自亚美尼亚的无情房♥东吗
Now, do we have any cash for our heartless Armenian landlord?
我想我们完了
Well, I guess that's it.
警♥察♥早上出现我们被赶出去