极品老妈

Mom S02E12

Part 1 Jan. 4, 2020, 12:30 p.m.

《极品老妈》前情提要
Previously on Mom...
我是克丽丝蒂·普兰科特罗斯科的妈妈
This is Christy Plunkett, Roscoe's mom.
今天他得待在家
I'm gonna be keeping him home today.
不是的他没有生病
No, no, no, um, not sick.
他的外公去世了
He lost his grandpa.
-我今天上午跟阿尔文的前妻聊过了 -怎样
- I spoke to Alvin's ex-wife this morning. - Yeah?
她不想让我们参加葬礼
She doesn't want us to come to the funeral.
阿尔文和我之间存在问题但就在他去世之前
Alvin and I had our problems, but just before he died,
他来找我求我跟他复合
he came to me and begged me to take him back.
我听不下去了
I can't listen to this.
坐...
Get your...
坐下
Stay.
他承认他犯了一些错误
He admitted he'd made some mistakes.
其中的两个今天来了
Two of them are here today.
好了够了
Okay, that's it.
拿着我的新包
Hold my new purse.
我该直接让她喝酒的
I should have just let her drink.
各位好
Hey, guys.
看谁终于舍得来上班了
Well, look who finally showed up for work.
我是说很遗憾令尊过世了
I mean, so sorry to hear your father passed away.
谢谢
Thanks.
真希望我能认识
Really wish I'd gotten to meet...
艾伯纳
...Abner.
他叫阿尔文
His name was Alvin.
你的确见过他
And you did meet him.
你都来这国家30年了
You've been in this country 30 years.
什么时候才能摆脱口音啊
When are you gonna lose the accent?
加布里埃尔
Hey, Gabriel.
你来啦
Hey, you.
欢迎回来
Welcome back.
谢谢
Thanks.
你一定很难过吧
Ah, this must be hard.
难过吗应该是会难过吧
Is it hard? It seems like it would be hard.
不我还好
No, I'm doing okay.
我想工作能帮助我忘记伤痛
I think work will help keep my mind off it.
是吗如果你还需要休息几天没问题的
Really? 'Cause if you need a few days, you can take them.
不用我没事多谢了
No, I'm good. Thanks.
关于菜单您有什么想问的
Any questions about the menu?
这里的意式调味饭是素的吗
Is your risotto vegan?
不是里面有鸡汤
No, it's made with chicken stock.
讨厌我还能再倒霉一点吗
Ugh, could my day get any worse?
能你老爸会挂掉
Yeah, your father could die!
好吧我可能还要再休息几天
Okay, I might need a few more days.
极品老妈第二季第十二集
账单全是账单
Bill, bill, bill.
我完了
Ugh, I am so screwed.
美国银行要再给我一张信♥用♥卡♥
Bank of America wants to give me a new credit card.
那些白♥痴♥
Those idiots.
你没有权利拿走他的东西
You have no right to take his stuff!
我有他是我的丈夫
Yes, I do, he was my husband.
出什么事了
What's going on?
老妖婆偷走了你♥爸♥所有的东西
Maleficent here is stealing all your dad's things.
我没有偷他把所有东西都留给我了
It is not stealing-- he left everything to me.
遗嘱里也有我和我女儿的份
Hey, my daughter and I are in that will, too.
据我律师所说没有
Not according to my lawyer.
我想他对你的感情没你以为的那么深厚
I guess you didn't mean as much to him as you thought you did.
你就继续自欺欺人吧他爱我
Keep telling yourself that; he loved me.
别说什么爱
Don't talk about love.
阿尔文和我共度了30年
Alvin and I were together for 30 years.
他跟我说你的双腿也"紧闭"了30年
And from what he told me, so were your legs.
是的你没听错
That's right, you heard me.
好啦进去吧
Okay, time to go inside.
我们进去
Let's go inside.
你真恶心
You're disgusting.
阿尔文可不这样想
Alvin didn't think so.
我是他最后的"大餐"
I was his last meal.
那他一定死于食物中毒
Then he must have died of food poisoning.
当他的灵魂离开身体后迁居到了我的阴♥道♥
When his soul left his body, it migrated to my hoo-ha.
你真变♥态♥
You're a sick woman.
罗琳我是阿尔文
"Lorraine, it's Alvin!
把我的东西给她们
Give 'em my stuff!"
好啦够了
Okay, that's enough.
还有你是个贱女人
"Also, you're a hose-bag!"
好了
Okay...
这话我只说一遍
I'm only gonna say this once:
这套"去世父亲兼阴♥道♥"把戏我不想再看到了
The whole dead dad-vagina bit-- never want to see it again.
放轻松点吧
"Oh, lighten up!"
在开始前我想请二位节哀顺变
Before we start, I just want to express my condolences for your loss.
谢谢
Thank you.
我也想借这个机会说
I would also want to take the opportunity to say
有你的女儿在办公室帮我
what a delight it is to have your daughter
我真是太开心了
helping me out at my office.
她工作努力有活力
She's a hard worker, she's very sharp...
是她可宝贝了这要花我多少钱
Yeah, she's a gem. How much is this gonna cost me?
别担心妈史蒂夫免费帮我们
Don't worry, mom, Steve's helping us for free.
或者用专业法律术语来说就是无偿服务
Or, as we call it in the legal profession, pro bono.
总之我去了法♥院♥
Anyway, went down to the courthouse,
找了法庭书♥记♥员
spoke to the court clerk.
-法庭书♥记♥员算是法♥院♥的秘书 -知道了
- The "Court clerk" is basically a secretary for the court. Okay. - Okay.
我在那里时
And while I was there,
递交了索要遗嘱副本的诉状
I petitioned for a copy of the will.
诉状就是正式要求
A "Petition" is a formal request.
是的
Right.
这样可以知道你们是否是受益人
So we could find out if you were named beneficiaries.
受益人是指受益于...
A "Beneficiary" is one who benefits...
我的天闭嘴
Oh, my God, stop.
好了告诉我结果吧
All right, give me the bottom line.
在法♥院♥存档的遗嘱是15年前的
The will that's on file with the court is from 15 years ago.
里面没有你或克丽丝蒂
It doesn't mention you or Christy.
是的那么新遗嘱呢
Yeah, but what about the new will?
他告诉我妈他立了新遗嘱身后可以照顾我们
He told my mom that he had a new one made that took care of us.
是的但据他律师说
He did, but according to his lawyer,
他并没有抽时间去签字
he never got around to signing it.
-开什么玩笑 -老天
- Are you kidding me? - Oh, my God.
当然现在更不可能了
And of course that's not gonna happen
你们懂的他挂了
now that he's, you know, dead.
本来有多少钱
How much was it gonna be?
你不会想知道的你会生气的
You don't want to know-- you'll just get upset.
告诉我
Tell me.
说来听听吧
Yeah, let's hear it.
十万
A hundred grand.
-狗♥娘♥养♥的 -杀了我吧
- Son of a bitch! - Just kill me.
如果我告诉你还有第三份遗嘱
Okay, what if I were to tell you that there was a third will,
-他签过字的 -有吗
- that he did sign? - Is there?
有这可能啊
There could be.
-妈 -怎么啦
- Mom... - What?
我有伪造的公♥证♥人图章
I've got that bogus notary stamp.
我只需要他笔迹的样本
All I need is a sample of his handwriting.
-妈 -你合作点行不行啊
- Mom! - Work with me!
太好了你们来了
Oh, good, you made it.
过去点行吗
Mind moving over?
坐这里吧
Just sit here.
不这是我的座位挪过去
No, that's my seat. Come on, scooch.
妈还有这么多位子
Mom, there's plenty of other spots.
不大家都知道周二晚上我坐这里
No, everybody knows on Tuesday nights, I sit there.
不如今晚变一变
Well, why don't you shake it up tonight?
坐这里吧
Sit here.
我不想坐那边我要坐这里
I don't want to sit there, I want to sit there
因为这是我的位子
'cause that's my seat.
妈算了
Mom, let it go.
不快挪开