极品老妈

Mom S02E07

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 12:29 p.m.

I will come here every week and give you $50.
过去你不怎么带着钱来找我
You don't have such a great history of coming to me with money.
我去找你吧
I'll come to you.
你住在哪里
Where do you live?
西克莫7219号♥
Uh, 7219 Sycamore...
骗子
Liar!
谢伯恩6♥4♥23号♥ 1B公♥寓♥
6♥4♥23 Sherborn, apartment 1B.
-进来吧 -谢谢
- Come on in. - Thank you.
你觉得我离婚后的住所怎么样
How do you like my post-divorce digs?
装♥修♥过的
Came furnished.
他们给了你绞索吗还是你得自己准备
Did they give you a noose or you have to supply your own?
拜托没那么糟糕啦
Come on, it's not so bad.
我下班后六点左右到家
I get home from work around 6:00,
微波炉晚餐去娱乐室
microwave dinner, go down to the rec room,
跟其他离婚男子打乒乓球
play a little Ping-Pong with the other divorced guys,
看看电视你还没反应过来
watch some TV, and before you know it,
就六点半了
it's 6:30.
那是电烤箱吗
Is that an electric oven?
-是的 -那就好
- Yeah. - Good.
怎么了为什么发神秘短♥信♥
So what's up? Why the cryptic text message?
我想跟你聊一些事
Well, I had some things I wanted to talk to you about,
我想当面和你说
and I wanted to do it face-to-face.
对不起
I'm sorry.
为什么
About what?
我不知道那是一种反射
I don't know. It's just a reflex.
淡定点
Take it easy.
这跟你没关系是我的事
This isn't about you; it's about me.
我得因为我做过的事向你道歉
I need to apologize for the stuff I did to you.
真的吗
Really?
我的括约肌刚放松了
Wow, my sphincter just relaxed.
你有什么好道歉的
What do you have to apologize for?
是我离开了你啊
I'm the one that left you.
是的上帝显然在为此惩罚你
Yes, and God is clearly punishing you for that.
但是我们要想继续进展
But if our relationship is going to move forward,
我得为我犯的错负责
I need to take responsibility for the mess I made.
好吧我接受你的道歉
Okay, I accept your apology.
不我得告诉你我做过的事
No, I need to tell you all the things that I did
然后请你原谅
and then ask for your forgiveness.
有多少件事啊
How many things we talking?
大概118件吧
About 118.
但有些事我做了两次
But there are a couple of things I did twice,
你来决定要不要分开计算
so it's up to you if you want to count those separately.
好吧开始吧
Okay, let 'er rip.
1976年1月7日我们相遇的那晚
January 7, 1976-- the night we met.
我从你的钱包里偷了一百块
I stole $100 out of your wallet.
你说那是我哥们韦恩干的
You said that was my buddy Wayne.
我再也没跟他说过话了
I never talked to him again!
如果你要对每件事情都发飙的话
If you're gonna flip out over each one of these,
花费的时间就会长很多
it's gonna take a lot longer than it needs to.
1976年1月8日我跟韦恩上♥床♥了
January 8, 1976. I slept with Wayne.
什么
What?!
容我辩护我是想安慰他
In my defense, I was trying to console him
因为你俩的友谊结束了他很沮丧
because he was so upset about your friendship ending.
快递
Delivery.
放哪儿都行
Eh, put it anywhere.
电影怎么样
How was the movie?
我们没去看电影而是去了博物馆
We didn't go to a movie. We went to a museum instead.
真的吗你做了有教育意义的事啊
Really? So you did something educational?
不那很好玩
No, it was fun.
你们吃完饭了吗
Did you guys eat dinner?
是的我女朋友给我们打包了一些蔬菜
Yeah, my girlfriend packed us some veggie wraps,
所以我们去了玩偶匣快餐店
so we stopped at Jack in the Box.
好吧
All right, fine.
去做你的家庭作业然后准备睡觉
Go do your homework and then get ready for bed.
下周末见儿子
See you next weekend, buddy.
-爱你爸爸 -我也爱你
- Love you, Dad. - Love you, too.
我真是印象深刻啊
Well, I am very impressed.
你带他带得很好
You're doing a great job with him.
谢谢
Thank you.
你真的扭转了人生
And you really turned your life around.
干得好跟坎迪斯有稳定关系
Good job, solid relationship with Candace.
是啊我完全不打算劈腿
Yeah, I'm not cheating on her at all.
年度最佳男友
Boyfriend of the year.
很高兴你这样认为
I'm glad you feel that way
因为我一直想问你一件重要的事
because I've been wanting to ask you something important.
你问吧
Anything.
让罗斯科跟我和坎迪斯住一阵子
How would you feel about Roscoe coming to live with me
你觉得怎么样
and Candace for a while?
什么
What?
我们有大房♥子
You know, we got the big house,
而且那就在他学校旁边
and it's right by his school.
他有自己的房♥间
He's got his own room.
我们甚至在考虑养条狗呢
We're even thinking about getting a dog.
你疯了吗
Are you out of your mind?
拜托克丽丝蒂在这里他睡在衣柜里
Come on, Christy, he sleeps in the closet here.
那是额外的房♥间
It's a bonus room!
好吧冷静点我不想吵架
Okay, calm down. I don't want to fight.
没人在吵架
No one's fighting.
我在平静地告诉你你是个废柴
I am calmly telling you that you are a loser,
你会一直是个废柴
you'll always be a loser,
你不许把我的孩子带走
and you're not gonna take my kid away from me.
你的孩子
Your kid?
我们一起造的他
We made him together!
我也在那个卫生间隔间里
I was in that bathroom stall, too!
别想了不可能的
Forget it! It's not gonna happen!
出去
Now get out!
好吧但我觉得你应该知道
All right, but I think you should know
坎迪斯的哥哥是个律师
that Candace's brother is a lawyer,
他说我有权利
and he says I have rights.
真的吗你想把律师卷进来吗
Really? You want to bring a lawyer into this?
那你最好也带把枪
Then you better bring a gun, too!
我会告诉我的律师你说了这句话
I'm telling my lawyer you said that!
好了尾声 1978年3月11日
Okay, home stretch. March 11, 1978.
你祖母在机场被捕
Your grandmother got arrested at the airport
带着一袋我的大♥麻♥
carrying a bag of my weed.
你利用我祖母帮你贩毒吗
You made my nana a mule?
不是我计划的
I didn't plan it.
我看见一只缉毒犬来了
I saw a drug-sniffing dog coming,
我惊慌失措把毒品塞进了她的轮椅里
I panicked and stuffed it in her wheelchair.
你先别说话警方放了他
Before you say anything, they let her go,
我告诉她如果她保密
and I told her if she kept it a secret,
我就给她生曾孙
I'd give her a great-grandchild.
这是件大事
Here's a big one.
你表哥大卫你还跟他有联♥系♥吗
Your cousin David. You still in touch with him?
是啊我们很亲密
Yeah, we're very close.
好吧那这条还是不说了
Okay, well, then I'm just gonna skip that.
最后你离开我一年后
And finally, about a year after you left me...
这个很难开口
Well, this is a tough one.
我不为此骄傲
Not proud of this.
我烧了你的古董克尔维特
I set your vintage Corvette on fire.
我没有过克尔维特
I never owned a Corvette.
真的吗
Really?
好吧我得去找找那个人了
Okay, I'm gonna have to track that guy down.
我多年前就该这样做
I should have done this years ago.
我感觉棒极了
I feel great.
感觉卸下了重担
Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
是啊对你有好处
Yeah, good for you.
不对我俩都好
No, good for us.
我们了结了往事
We have a clean slate,
从头开始没什么能阻止我们
fresh start, nothing's stopping us.
抱歉我现在做不到