极品老妈

Mom S02E05

Part 3 Jan. 4, 2020, 12:29 p.m.

我也是
Me, too.
真诡异我又不是什么黄花大闺女
It's weird, 'cause it's not like any part of me's a virgin.
我的一个朋友觉得
Friend of mine thinks
我不该急着跟你上♥床♥
I shouldn't hop in the sack with you.
你觉得呢
What do you think?
我觉得我该交个新朋友
I think I should get a new friend.
不给他洗洗他很脏[淫♥荡♥]
Oh, no. Wash him, he's dirty.
我滑倒在浴室里时根本没人来
I slip in the shower, no one comes over.
干嘛
What?
抱歉我知道很晚了
Sorry. I know it's late.
我今晚过得很难熬我得跟你谈谈
I just had a really rough night, and I needed to talk to you.
进来吧
Come on in.
你不会信的
You will not believe it.
我前任带罗斯科和他新女友
But my ex brings Roscoe and his new girlfriend
来了餐厅我得伺候...
over to the restaurant, and I have to serve...
天啊
Holy crap.
瞧瞧这尺寸
Look at the size of that thing.
是啊的确很大
Yeah. Yeah, that's big.
你前任来了餐厅然后呢
So, your ex comes into the restaurant, and...?
然后他在跟坎迪斯约会
And he's dating this Candace woman,
她有很多钱
who's got a lot of money.
她让他焕然一新给他找了份新工作
She's cleaned him up, got him a good job.
问题在哪里
So, what's the problem?
我好努力
I am trying so hard.
我戒酒了我去参加互助会
I quit drinking, I'm going to meetings.
我的坎迪斯呢
Where's my Candace?!
你想要一个有钱女人照顾你吗
You want a woman with money to take care of you?
不想
No.
我是说我也可以凑合啦
I mean... I'm flexible.
你想听我的建议吗
You want my advice?
别纠结了
Get over it.
如果他状况更好这对你儿子很好
If he's doing better, it's good for your son,
对你很好对大家都好
it's good for you, it's good for everybody.
等等但你还没听到最糟糕的部分呢
Wait, but you haven't even heard the worst of it.
他们离开餐厅时
When they left the restaurant,
他女朋友抱了我而且给了我超多小费
his girlfriend hugs me and leaves me a huge tip.
-那个贱♥货♥ -是吧
- That cow. - Right?
听着我跟你说了怎么做
Listen, I told you what to do--
管你做不做快走吧
you do it, don't do it, just get out.
多谢你的倾听
Thanks for listening.
猫咪呢
Where are the cats?
死了走吧
They died. Now, get out.
我刚在想
I was just thinking--
上次我们这样在一起时
the last time we were together like this,
我留着圆蓬式发型和络腮胡鬓角
I had an afro and mutton-chop sideburns.
我还是跟你上♥床♥了
And yet I still slept with you.
我好想念这一切
I missed this.
我也是
Me, too.
35年过去了好像一切都没改变一样
35 years go by, and it's like nothing's changed.
那是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
我不知道
I don't know.
那说明我很高兴我们还是同样的人
It means... I'm glad we're still the same people.
等等
Hang on.
要知道我是可以改变的
I am capable of changing, you know.
当然啦
Yeah, sure.
我不是命中注定一次又一次地
It's not like I'm doomed to make the same stupid mistakes
犯同一个愚蠢的错误
over and over again.
没人那样说我们继续接吻吧
Nobody's saying that. Let's keep kissing.
等会儿
Hey, give me a second.
怎么了
What's going on?
我不知道
I don't know.
阿尔文
Alvin...
抱歉我做不到
I-I'm sorry, I can't do this.
为什么怎么了
Why? What's wrong?
我想要一段真正的恋爱
I want a real relationship.
我也是
So do I.
如果我们要想那样的话
Well, if that's ever gonna happen for us,
就得重新认识对方
we need to get to know each other again.
慢慢来
Take it slow.
我都56岁了
I'm 56 years old;
不管我们做什么都会很慢的
it was gonna be slow no matter what we did.
严肃点
Be serious.
我们当然可以慢慢来
Of course we can take it slow.
谢谢
Thank you.
没关系
No problem.
现在怎么办
So, now what?
我不知道我之前没有没做过
Well, I don't know. I've never not done this before.
我们还能...
Uh, can we still...
亲热吗
make out and stuff?
我知道你真正想问的是什么
Oh, yeah, I-I know what you're really asking,
回答是不行
and the answer is no.
不巴克斯特他不能跟你还有坎迪斯一起过夜
No, Baxter, he cannot spend the night with you and Candace.
我不需要说原因我是他妈
I don't need a reason, I'm his mother.
快送他回家
Bring him home now.
瞧瞧我这个泼妇
Look at me being a bitch.
没发生什么
Nothing happened.
爸爸我是个成年女人
Dad, I'm a grown woman.
我看到性♥爱♥啤酒罩时认得出来
I know a sex beer cozy when I see one.
按理说是如此
Yeah, you'd think.
但是说真的没发生什么
But, honestly, nothing happened.
你妈妈是个优雅的女人
Your mother is a classy broad.
从什么时候开始的
Since when?
大概在一小时以前
About an hour ago.
他走了吗
Is he gone?
是啊
Yeah.
发生什么事了
What happened?
没什么
Nothing.
我接受了玛乔丽的建议做了不同的事
I took Marjorie's advice, did things differently,
我感觉棒极了
and I feel terrific.
你知道她看GV吗
You know she watches gay porn?
我知道我跟她一起看了
I know, I watched it with her.
我觉得她有道理
I think she's onto something.
我很高兴她帮助了你
Yeah. Well, I'm happy she helped you,
但是她可没帮我
but she was of no use to me.
她跟你怎么说的
What did she tell you?
我都不想重复
I don't even want to repeat it.
就有那么荒唐
It's just that ridiculous.
说出来试试
Try me.
她觉得我应该更支持我前夫
She thinks I should be more supportive of my ex-husband.
太疯狂了
That's crazy.
谢谢
Thank you.
你才没办法支持
You're not capable of being supportive.
你是个小心眼报复心重的女人
You're a petty and vindictive woman.
我才不是这种人
I am not petty and vindictive.
我只是受不了我曾经爱过的人
I... just can't stand it when good things happen
过得很好
to people I used to love.
你知道疯狂的定义吗
You know the definition of insanity?
我当然知道
Yes, I know the definition of insanity!
我跟你住一起呢
I live with you!
克丽丝蒂最后你会做正确的事情
Christy, eventually you're gonna do the right thing.
我不同意
I disagree.
我选择阴暗面
I choose the dark side.
来吧
Come here.
这不公平
It's not fair.
我知道
I know.
我花了好多年时间试图影响那个抽大♥麻♥的傻子
I spent all those years trying to mold that pot-addled lump of clay,
现在坎迪斯获得了奖赏
and now Candace gets the reward.
亲爱的看着我
Sweetie, look at me.
别忘了那个奖赏是巴克斯特
Lest we forget, the reward is Baxter.
妈妈如果你爱我让我去恨吧
Mom, if you love me, let me hate.