无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E10

Part 3 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:13 p.m.

No, but there's a great article
是关于好莱坞十大最丑角色
about Hollywood's top ten ugliest calves.
看了会让你自我感觉良好
It'll make you feel a lot better about your own.
谢了兄弟
Thanks, bud.
兄弟这是一部没实际内涵
Man, this is a lot of pomp and circumstance
徒有特效的电影
for an empty special effects
角色虚构而且完全没有情节可言
movie with cardboard characters and no plot.
嘿脱下你剧评家的帽子进入朋友的角色好吗
Hey, take off your theater critic hat and put on your friend hat.
好吧这次我为你破例
All right, I'll make an exception this one time for you.
哦见鬼
Oh, shit.
他们在分发免费爆米花
They're giving out free popcorn.
你来真的吗 Brian
Really, Brian?
你的朋友头一回在大电影中担任角色
Your friend's in his first role in a big movie,
你却为了一份大概值4刀的免费爆米花感到兴奋
and you're excited about a free $4 thing of popcorn?
我两样都觉得激动
I'm excited for both.
我也是我们去拿点儿吧
Me, too. Let's go get some.
-这一定会很棒 -我迫不及待想看了
-This is gonna be awesome. -I can't wait!
哦大伙等下
Oh, guys, hold on a second.
我觉得不怎么舒服
I'm not feeling well.
电影要开始了
I think the sickening is happening!
宝贝们看电影啦
Let's do this, baby!
-哦 -耶来吧
-Whoo! -Yeah! Come on!
靠
What the fuck?
他们把我的镜头从整部剧中剪了
They cut me out of the movie entirely?
太卑鄙了
It's so shitty.
他们可以在首映礼之前就告诉你啊
They could have told you before the premiere.
为什么他们还让你和比利·布♥什♥一起做采访
Why did they have you do an interview with Billy Bush?
嘿队长怎么会这样
Hey, Cap, what happened?
我们看错电影了吗你在哪儿呢
Did we go to the wrong movie? Where were you?
兄弟他们把我的镜头剪了
They cut me out, buddy.
抱抱吧
Hug time.
你可以抱紧点伤不了我的
You can go tighter. You won't hurt Arnold.
兄弟往好的一面想
Dude, look on the bright side.
至少你得到不错的报酬
At least you got paid pretty well.
并没有
Not really.
我接这角色主要是想增加曝光率
I was mainly doing this for the exposure.
但是你有了一段自我展现的素材
Oh, but you got great stuff for your reel,
那还挺棒的
so that's great.
不我没权限拿到那段视频
No, I mean, I don't have access to that footage.
我根本不知道怎么得到它
I don't even know how to get it.
哦你知道吗
Oh, you know what?
你还是可以在你的演员资料库里找到所以
It'll still be on your IMDb page, so...
我认为不会有了因为我在电影里根本没出镜
Mm, I don't think it will, because I didn't appear in the movie.
好吧兄弟我已经词穷了
Okay, I'm officially out of silver linings, dude.
真抱歉兄弟
Sorry, man.
妈妈呢
Where's Ma?
她病了
She got sick.
这电影叫"患病"
The movie is called Sickening.
她真的病了然后回家了
She really got sick and went home.
好吧反正她也没错过任何东西
All right, well, she didn't miss anything, anyway.
我被从电影里剪掉了
I was cut out of the movie.
还好啦
It's okay.
你总能拍另一个Go-Gurt的广♥告♥
You can always do another Go-Gurt commercial.
那挺好的
It was good.
是啊但那都快是五年前的事儿了
Yeah, but that was, like, five years ago.
如果演戏是你的热情所在你应该投入
If acting is your passion, you should focus.
热情这个词用得有点过吧
"Passion" May be a bit strong of a word.
那你为什么不去当个律师呢
So why don't you become a lawyer?
不我不要去当律师
What? No, I'm not gonna become a lawyer.
所以你想干啥呢
So what do you want to do?
我不知道
I don't know.
是急诊室打来的
It's emergency room.
嗨 John 什么事
Hey, John. What's up?
开玩笑吧
You're kidding.
黄瓜哪啊
Cucumber? Where?
屁♥眼♥里？
The butthole?
我的天
Oh, my goodness.
马上到
I'll be there.
怎么了
What's going on?
有人把黄瓜卡在屁♥眼♥里了
Somebody got a cucumber in the butthole.
我得去拿出来
I have to go and take it out.
拜
Bye.
再来一杯吗
Do you want to do another shot?
不了再喝明天起来会很难受
No, I'll just feel like garbage tomorrow.
操那是Todd 那个导演
Oh, shit, there's Todd, the director.
你跟他谈过了吗
Have you talked to him yet?
没有
No.
或许我该去那边和他来场尴尬的对话
Maybe I should go over there and have an awkward conversation
尝试弄明白究竟发生什么鬼事
and try to figure out what the hell happened.
对啊
Yeah.
出于礼貌他应该告诉你为什么把你的戏剪掉
You know, he should have the decency to tell you why he cut you out.
嘿老兄
Hey, man.
嗨什么事
Hey, what's up?
所以你把Dr. Vincent镜头都剪掉了
Uh, so Dr. Vincent didn't make the cut, huh?
是啊抱歉了哥们
Yeah, I'm sorry, buddy.
你很棒但我们必须剪掉点东西
You were great,but we had to lose some stuff.
你知道吗我就是觉得有点糟心
You know, it just kind of sucks,
因为我邀请了一堆朋友和家人来看
because I invited a lot of my friends and family.
难道你不能早点告诉我吗
Couldn't you have maybe told me before?
我可以但我没这么做
I could have, but I didn't.
你这样解释就算了事啦
Is that all you have to say for yourself?
你个傻♥逼♥
You're being such a douche.
-别激动淡定 -为什么要减掉他的戏份
-All right, all right. -Okay, why did you cut him out?
冷静点
Hey, you know, calm down.
经常有人被减戏份
People get cut out of things all the time.
Dev不是被减掉戏份的第一位演员
Dev's not the first actor to get cut from a movie.
哦
Oh.
你造吗我很高兴他的戏份被剪了
You know what, I'm actually glad that he got cut out,
因为你的电影就是个垃圾
because your movie was garbage.
别这样
Hey, come on.
嘿顺便说一下
Hey, actually, by the way,
那电影就是坨屎
it was a piece of shit, the movie.
冷静点
- Calm down.
就他妈是坨屎
It was fucking shit.
该死的
God damn it.
你很迷人很高兴见到你
Well, you're charming.It was nice meeting you.
享受免费酒水吧貌似你们已经喝上了
Enjoy the open bar,which I think you already have.
我要去跟Dulé Hill打个招呼他人可好了
I'm gonna go hug Dulé Hill,because he's nice,
他可不像你们这样子
not like you guys.
-搞什么 -啥
-What the fuck? -What?
很难想象这是你做的
I can't believe you made this.
看吧就知道你会是个好厨师
See, I knew you'd be a good chef.
嗨
Hey.
你怎么了
What's up?
没事
Nothing.
真的吗你确定
Really? You sure?
感觉你不太在状态啊
Feels like you're not really in the room right now.
你就在
You're just...
那你想让我怎么吃意面这样吃
Well, how do you want me to eat pasta,like this?
没我就是想你听完我说话
No, I just--I just want you to be engaged
然后给点反应
and listen when I talk to you.
好吧我或许还没从
Well, maybe I'm just recovering
今晚的大灾难中恢复过来
from that horrible disaster of a night I just had.
还记得刚刚发生啥了吗
You remember earlier?
我去了那部我拍了N个世纪久的电影的首映礼
I went to the movie premiere for this movie that I worked on forever,
结果我一个镜头都没有
and I got cut out completely?
然后你醉醺醺地跑去质问那导演
And then you decided to drunkenly berate the director?
好吧抱歉
Okay, I'm sorry.
我本来是好意的
It was coming from a good place.
很抱歉你的戏份被剪掉了
I'm sorry you got cut out.
没事