无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E03

Part 2 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

我是个印度有钱大佬呢
I'm an Indian billionaire.
是的我完全赞同你
Yeah, I totally agree with you.
但就这一晚上
But for this one night only,
因为你拿到了那该死的票
because you have that sick ticket,
等同于拿到进她圈子的通行证
you get a guest pass in her league.
但如果你带了个你不认识的人
But if you bring someone you don't know,
那就要冒着
then you're running the
她只是为了票而利用你的风险
risk that she's just using you for that tickie.
兄弟被像她那样的小野猫利用
Dude, getting used by a hottie like that
也比带上Brian强多了
is way better than bringing Brian.
现在我只是不想让你带Brian去
At this point, I just don't want you to bring Brian.
老兄你干嘛这样对我
Dude, why are you doing this?
抱歉啦兄弟
I'm sorry, man.
听着下周你和我水族馆走起
Listen, next week, you and me, aquarium.
你是...我爱水族馆
Are you s... I love the aquarium.
-那... -我知道
- That... - I know.
而且他们增添了新品种的魔鬼鱼
And they have new manta rays there.
你最棒了老兄你最棒了
You're the best, man. You're the best.
你是最棒的哥们儿
You're the best, dude.
好吧
All right.
我会邀请Alice
I'll ask out Alice.
希望她会答应
Hopefully she says yes.
我们去音乐会
We go to the concert.
让她看到我的内在美
She sees my inner beauty.
然后制♥造♥一点
And we create a little
"他如何如何"的小剧本
"He's" All That scenario.
简而言之
So just to recap,
你要去邀请那个最漂亮的妞了嘛
you're gonna ask the most attractive girl?
是的
Yes.
神转折啊
Interesting turn of events.
不是吗
Isn't it?
嘿 Alice
Hey, Alice.
嗨
Hi.
你还需要点什么嘛
Do you need something else?
噢不需要
Uh, no.
事实上我想知道我有两张
I was actually wondering... I have two tickets
这周六Father John Misty的演出票
to that secret Father John Misty show on Saturday.
你想来吗
Would you want to go?
好啊
Yes.
噢我的天呐好耶
Oh, my God, yeah.
说清楚点是跟我一起去
To... Yeah, to be clear, with me.
不是跟像Emilio Estevez(一名帅哥演员)或别的什么人去
Not, like, Emilio Estevez or something.
我知道我知道
I know. I know.
-不那听起来很棒啊 -好吧
- No, that sounds amazing. - All right.
好的我只是...我得去查一下我的排班表
Yeah, I just... I have to check my work schedule.
好的你想把电♥话♥写下来吗
All right, do you want to write your number down
-然后我可以短♥信♥你再决定 -好的
- and I can text you and figure it out? - Yeah.
酷
Cool.
好了
Okay.
-拿着吧 -太好了
- There you go. - Great.
嗯
All right.
呃
Well, uh...
看来我们这次就先这样吧
guess that's the end of this interaction.
-拜 -拜
- Bye. - Bye.
===无为大♥师♥===
第一季第三集
抢手票
演唱会开始前72小时
哇这染病的妆容真是太疯狂了
Wow, The Sickening makeup is crazy.
我也会弄成这样吗
I'm gonna look like this?
是啊但要花上几个小时
Yep, but it'll take a few hours.
我们先从你的胳膊开始
We're gonna start with your arms.
整个过程中你的胳膊
Now, you're gonna have to keep your arms still
得保持一动不动
for the entire session.
你需要做点什么吗
You need to do anything?
-都准备好了吗 -是啊我都好了
- You all good? - Yeah, I'm all good.
你确定么一旦开始你就不能动了
You sure? Once they start, you can't move.
没事儿好了
All right.
等一下
One second.
我好了
I'm good.
很好太棒了
Okay. Sweet.
嘿 Benjamin 你能帮我看一下短♥信♥吗
Hey, Benjamin, you mind checking that text for me?
啥你约会对象很漂亮吗
What, you got a hot date?
我希望如此
I hope so.
好吧
All right.
谢谢
Thank you.
你火♥辣♥的约会对象是叫Brian吗
Is your hot date named Brian?
呃不是
Ugh, no.
他说准备去试新拉面馆感兴趣吗
He says, "About to try new ramen place, you interested?"
你可以直接回给他不
You can just write back, "No."
只写不吗真是粗鲁得不得了
Just, "No"? That's incredibly rude.
我会回给他抱歉刚吃饱了
I'm gonna write back, "Sorry, just ate.
但我真的很欣赏你的为人
But I really admire you as a person."
算了吧你就别那么做
Come on, just... Don't do that.
就写不
Just write, "No."
我已经写好了
I just did that.
按我刚才说的
What I said.
好吧
Yeah.
我发送了
I sent it.
你再查一下呗
Can you check that?
噢他回了
Oh, he wrote back.
兄弟谢谢了这对我很重要
"Thanks, buddy. That means a lot.
我也很欣赏你
I admire you, too."
不错好吧
Fair enough, all right.
我以后写短♥信♥会尝试礼貌点
Guess I'll try to be nicer in my texts.
嗯你该如此
Mm-hmm, I think you should.
Brian会很喜欢的
Brian appreciated it.
嘿你介意再帮我查一下吗
Hey, you mind checking that?
-你认真的吗 -查嘛
- Really? - Come on.
-又是Brian -我靠
- Brian again. - Damn it.
拉面馆真的不错 B+
"Ramen place is pretty good, B-plus."
我感觉这条短♥信♥可以随便回
I feel like this one doesn't require a thoughtful response.
是的
No.
来吧接吧
Come on. Do it.
看一下来嘛兄弟
Check it. Come on, man.
不会再是Brian了
It can't be Brian.
哇哇
Wow. Wow.
Brian
Brian.
他特么到底想干啥
What the fuck does he want?
感觉是一只粗鲁的小猫
"Feeling a kitten gross.
降级到B-
Downgrading to a B-minus."
有点恶心而不是粗鲁的小猫
"Little gross, not kitten gross."
自动更正
"Autocorrect."
真棒
Great.
演唱会开场前48小时
已经两天了兄弟
It's been two days, dude.
我压根儿没听到Alice什么回复
I haven't heard anything from Alice.
大家都怎么了
What's wrong with people?
听着 Alice是个生活在大城市的
Look, Alice is a worldly woman
世俗女人
living in the big city.
可能她就是忙
Maybe she's just busy.
她没那么忙啊
Mm, she's not that busy.
我窥探了一点儿她的Instagram
I did a little snooping on her Instagram.
不错
Nice.
她最近上传了捏泡泡纸的视频
She recently posted a video of her popping bubble wrap.
标题是我太爱泡泡纸了
Caption, "I love bubble wrap."
收获了54个赞
Fifty-four likes.
这个鬼鬼祟祟的绿茶婊
That sneaky bitch.
这个怎么办
What about this?
女士们都喜欢诚实对吗
Ladies like honesty, right?
如果我就表现得超诚实
What if I'm just super honest?
如果我就直接说
What if I'm just like,
嘿 Alice 你见鬼了吗