无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E09

Part 3 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:13 p.m.

All right, come on.
那是Lupe管家
That's Lupe, the housekeeper.
她把它们折起来了不算
She folded them up. That doesn't count.
我不知道啊规则就是规则
I don't know, man. Rules are rules.
我觉得你要和Lupe来一发了
I think you got to go down on Lupe.
不不公平
No, that's not fair.
你知道奇怪的是什么吗
You know what's weird is that you would
是理论上比起我给你吹♥箫♥来说你更希望地板是干净的
theoretically rather have a clean floor than me blow you,
因为如果我要是每天都把房♥间弄得很乱
because if I just made a mess every day,
我就得每天都和你滚床单了
I would have to go down on you all the time.
不你不懂
No, you don't understand.
公♥寓♥要是干净的
Having a clean apartment, whew,
每次看到的话就会像被小吹一萧似的那么爽
that's like getting a tiny blow job anytime you see a clean area.
就像这种哦爽哦啊爽
It's like, ooh, ah, ooh, ay, ooh.
好吧总有人得为这些衣服负责
Okay, well, somebody has to pay for those clothes...
我觉得那个人就是你
and I think it's you.
好吧好吧
All right.
给Lupe发短♥信♥说我这就去和她滚
Text Lupe I'll go down on her.
嗨
Hi.
哥们你干啥呢
Dude, what are you doing?
在检查是不是一切都还好
Just making sure everything's going all right.
你可别做鬼脸
You can't make silly faces.
抱歉我只想确认一下我做得好
Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I was doing a good job.
-你做得很好 -我能休息下么
-You're doing great. -Can I get a juice break?
别
Stop.
好吧我要继续了
All right, back to work.
闭嘴
Shut up!
我要再进去了
I'm going back in!
这就来了
Here we go!
哇
Whoa!
好一路顺风
Okay, well, have a good trip,
到了给我发短♥信♥
and just text me when you guys land, okay?
嗯再见妈
All right, bye, Ma.
爱你
Love you.
嘿
Hey.
我能问你点事吗
Can I ask you something?
好啊
Yeah.
你父母都知道我什么事
What do your parents know about me?
哈
Huh?
我刚看到在你们的短♥信♥聊天里
I just noticed on your phone conversations with them,
你从来都不谈起我
you never talk about me,
但我一直跟我妈谈起你
but I talk about you with my mom all the time,
你父母了解我多少
so what do they know about me?
我想我不是经常谈起我们
I guess I don't talk about us much.
他们知道我和你住吗
So they know I live with you?
不知道
No.
但是他们知道你有一个女朋友对吧
But they know you have a girlfriend, right?
不算是
Not really.
不算是
Not really?
我们的传统文化就是这样
It's a cultural thing, okay?
我们不聊恋爱这种事情
We just don't talk about that kind of stuff.
Dev 我们在一起将近一年了
Dev, we've been dating for almost a year!
你是我生活中很重要的部分
You're such a big part of my life.
我父母知道你的一切
My parents know everything about you.
我妈录下电视剧
My mom DVRs TV shows,
就为了可以快进看你拍的广♥告♥
so she can fast-forward through them to watch your commercials.
你父母怎么能不知道我
How do they not know about me?
你想让我怎么做
Well, what do you want me to do?
你想让我现在打给他们吗
Do you want me to call them right now?
不用
No, it's fine.
如果你觉得尴尬我不会让你
If it's awkward, I don't want to make you do anything
去做你不想做的事
that you don't want to do.
但你给我的感觉是你觉得我丢你的脸
But it just makes me feel like you're ashamed of me
或者类似的
or something.
听着这不一样
Look, it's different, okay?
如果一个白种人谈恋爱
If you're a white person and you're dating somebody,
他就会打电♥话♥给父母说
you just call your parents and tell them,
嘿我在和这个人谈恋爱
"Hey, I'm dating this person,"
他们会说好极了
and they're like, "Oh, great.
把他邀请到家里来
Let me invite him over
然后给他吃鸡肉还有饺子
and feed him, like, chicken and dumplings."
好吧
Okay.
拜托
Hey, come on.
咋了
What?
这语气听起来像是
That's like the kind of tone people use when they've decided
准备谋杀别人似的
they're gonna murder the other person.
这样不好
That's not nice.
像是有人说
That's like when someone's like,
不吵了
"Okay, no more arguing.
我晚上趁他们睡觉砍下他们的头
I'll just chop their head off when they're asleep."
Rachel 不要砍我的头
Rachel, don't chop my head off.
宝贝快来
Hey, boo, come here!
过来喝点新鲜果汁
Come have some of this fresh juice!
靠我挤得这么辛苦就出来这么点果汁
Damn, that's not a lot of juice for all that squeezing I did.
-嘿 -过来看看
-Hey. -Come here. Look at this.
新鲜葡萄柚果汁
Fresh grapefruit juice.
我很高兴看到你喜欢你的榨汁机
Oh, I'm glad you like your juicer.
你觉得你会用我送你的面条机吗
You think you're ever gonna use that pasta maker I got you?
我想用面条机
I want to use the pasta maker,
但做意大利面有点吓人
but making fresh pasta is a little intimidating.
我可能只擅长吃
I might just be better at eating pasta.
我昨天开了一场有趣的会议
So I had an interesting meeting at work yesterday.
可能会有一个重要的空缺职位
There might be a big position opening up.
赞
Nice.
如果我拿到了
Yeah, and if I got it,
我就会成为一个大组的头儿
I would be the head of the big team
负责Reply All还有其他一些乐队
running Reply All and some other bands.
重点是我得去芝加哥
The only thing is, is I would have to go to Chicago
长达六个月
for, like, six months.
六个月吗
Six months?
哇好久
Wow, that's a long time.
你会在周末回来吗
Would you come back on weekends?
我会偶尔抽空周末回来
Yeah, I-I can come back on some weekends.
但这是个很棒的机会
But it's a great opportunity,
我可以广交人脉
and I can make connections
我可以和我一直想合作的
I can use with some of the cooler bands
乐队一起工作
I've always wanted to work with.
我懂了
Yeah, I get it.
你懂了但你看起来并不支持
You get it, but it doesn't seem like you support it.
我支持
I support it.
听起来没说服力
That doesn't sound very convincing.
我支持
I support it!
你不用表现得像个混球
You don't have to be an asshole about it.
嘿我没表现得像混球
Hey, I'm not being an asshole.
只不过六个月很长
It's just, six months is a long time
而你只能偶尔周末回来
to just come back on some weekends.
我是指我们现在要成为
I mean, what, now we're one of these couples
那种成天要FaceTime的情侣了吗
that just FaceTimes each other all the time?
其实我还没接受那个职位
Look, I haven't actually taken the position yet.
他们只是问我是否愿意飞去面试
They just asked if I could fly in to interview.
我能去吗
Can I just do that?
做你想做的吧
Yeah, do whatever you want.
什么
What?
我感觉你一直说
It's just, I feel like you always say,
我想做这我要和
"Like, oh, well, I do this, and then I get to work
我一直喜爱的乐队共事了
with the bands I'm really passionate about,"
这行不通的你知道吗
and it doesn't work that way, you know?
现在你已经开始讨论要
And now you're talking about moving all the way to Chicago
搬去芝加哥半年只为和一些
for six months to work with these bands
我知道你并不在乎的乐队共事
that I know you don't really care about.
但是有时你必须要为